good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

while you were busy jacking off & cumming hard. it rained outside beautifully

what do you think i was jacking off to...?

Geralt is such a good protag to me because he is an impossibly good monster hunter and swordsman, has 1/3 of the continent's population (male and female) in love with him, is very articulate and intelligent- and yet he is still a bit of a loser. Girldad to deeply concerning teenager. Is in a 30-year-long situationship. Falls out with his best friend like they're on the playground. Spends all the money he barely scrapes up on a new jacket. Immediately ruins said jacket. So it goes.

i eat your grandads clothes

Macklemoth

an “original character” is like a kind of brain parasite