*something cringy probably*

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be

Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️

HE'S GETTING FIRED. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!

games over! everyone loses! 👍

i don't hide things in tags i simply allow the proletariat to determine whether it is praxis to make my statements heard.

the other reason the leprechaun shoots the king of england in the head is that, unnatural abomination against God and Fey alike or not, it's still Irish

Who wants to hear a DIY tiling pro tip that the experts won't tell you

Yes!

Do not drop your phone into the bucket of tile adhesive. This step is actually completely unnecessary and massively complicates the tiling process.

You say this but my uncle is a tiler and he swears by the “drop phone in putty bucket” technique. I think you’re just posting this for clout

Your uncle is caught up in a tradition that he was taught as an apprentice that he never questioned. Modern putty doesn't require phone, the formula has changed.

MY uncle says some customers still demand the phone putty technique because it "doesn't look right otherwise"

Drop an empty phone case in and those customers can't tell the fucking difference because there is no fucking difference.

My mum renovated houses for thirty years, she says “you’re half right, but in some cases - particularly in houses built before 1930 - the phone does add some benefit. Could be a tablet too if you’ve an old one in the garage. And anyone who says it’s got to be a particular model is just being precious about it, whatever the forums say.”

IPhones and tablets where invented in 1898, what did they do before then?

Nothing, tiles were invented in 1899.

yet another cosmic unfairness: a manatee is some kind of big fat dumpling beast of the sea that wants you to pet it so bad we had to make laws against doing just that for their safety

Easily one of the top 5 funniest things you can do as an identical twin

I like to bring him up when talking at the museum about sideshow stars who were genuinely brilliant performers.

[ID: two tweets by j @repressedthesis. the first reads 'bbc was like "we want you to make a family show about King Arthur" and the writers were like "wizard committs war crimes" and colin morgan was like "the studios have tricked me, classically trained colin morgan into being here, so I'm going to portray a closeted homosexual."' the second tweet reads 'bradley james was like "I'm in a medieval times commercial!"' /end ID.]

A free-range group therapy called "get herded, idiot", where you and everyone in your group is set loose to run around on an open field while a highly trained shepherd dog tries to keep you all in one group. I am not sure what benefit this would have for anyone involved.

This would fix everyone involved including the dog