Dump site

Both saw and didn't see it coming.

But. I'm going to assume that everything and everyone can be "fixed" or helped, rather, slowly within the circus.

I do agree that Jax abstracting is an allegory for suicide.

I also agree people who keep pushing help away are going to eventually give in to self harm and/or suicide. Hurt people hurt people.

You can only help a person as much as they want to be helped. And if they don't want to be, then it becomes a cycle of pushing and pulling.

I've had friends and family members like Jax. To the point I became depressed and in one case suicidal because I was worried 24/7 about whether or not she'd try something because she said she would so often. I thought I was a bad friend for not being able to change her mind. And because of that, I thought I'd be better off dead had she gone through with it.

She pushed and pushed and pushed to the point I had to leave. Because if I didn't, I would have become another her.

And I was suicidal at some point in my life, when I was younger, before I knew her. And going through that again...

So hearing about the ending kind of brought up some memories, ngl.

Jax needed help but refused it.

In my head, I can only hope that the cast can slowly help and heal the abstracted and that the abstracted will accept their help, if they're sentient enough to do so. Including Jax.

But that makes me wonder... Is every abstraction suicide?

There are more than 30 Ana's.

Ana runs multiple accounts and uses them in ways that range from embarrassing to genuinely harmful.

One that I do feel is a mix of both is the @lyneyhatersdni blog. Ana claims this is her ('ex') boyfriend… she's the boyfriend.

Someone told me that before the account was fully set up, the following list and recently liked posts were publicly visible (which is just a default setting Tumblr uses).

Every liked post was content from Ana, Lilac, and Karma.

The account types exactly like Ana's; she tries to switch her typing style on it, but she slips… a lot.

I always thought it was weird when I first found that account, that it's rarely active.

That only Ana responds/likes my comments if I interact with them??

And what made my assumption feel far too true is this post she made:

This is a self-report if I've ever seen one. And why does this matter beyond just being weird??

This account was used for publicly 'dating' Ana, complimenting her, calling her pet names, having entire conversations with her in the comments of her post. She is having a relationship with herself in front of everyone.

And here's the infamous conversation she had with herself when she posted "im gonna kms" on her main, where lyneyhatersdni shows up in the comments to comfort her. She is roleplaying emotional support from a person who does not exist.

He is only online when she needs him to be (like making that "ana won't be online" post or interacting with herself). He never used it outside of using it for ana. They always happen to be online at the same time, and now she's active on his account bc shes "going to be offline for a long while" and is addicted, so that's what she uses right now.

But it gets worse than just beyond fake dating.

'lyneyhatersdni' was the account behind the anonymous hate messages that Lilac received on her old blog. Lilac's old account (scaraobsession) is now deactivated, so those specific asks are gone, but they were horrible nonetheless.

Lilac had to turn off anonymous asks entirely because of the harassment, and Ana had the audacity to reblog Lilac's post about it, acting like she was defending her.

Ana sent anonymous hate to her own (ex) close friend. And then publicly positioned herself as the one protecting her from it.

That's fucked up. What's more fucked up? If this 'boyfriend' is real, dating your friend's bully is fucked up.

She also very, very likely sends herself anonymous requests. Some requests are for engagement on her blog; others are hate-directed at her(self). She literally discovered the feature publicly on her blog, as seen in the image with the anonymous hate at the top. The proof is all there.

The vent account(s).

Ana has had multiple vent accounts in the past; her newest was leaked recently. What was on it was absolutely disturbing.

One of the very disgusting things that stood out on this account was the posts written as conversations between herself and what she frames as an internal 'voice,' using brackets to distinguish it. In these posts, "the voice" says things like 'i hope they die', 'i hope one of them dies', and other… odd things you'll see below.

Ana responds back to "the voice" as herself, pushing back mildly, but she's the one writing all of it. She typed every word, fantasizing about (ex) friends' deaths.

And in the tags? She writes things like "these r kinda just like the thoughts I don't agree with, but r still there" and "pls know that's not actually me." She tagged her own death wishes toward her friends with a disclaimer. As if that makes it fine. As if hitting post and putting it on the internet is somehow not a choice she made.

These are all directed towards both Karma and Lilac. Ana's always been jealous of Karma, hated them. When they were all a trio, Ana would constantly leave Karma out on purpose; she tried to kick Karma out of the friend group, but ended up kicking herself out instead.

She crashed out on Lilac once, called her a slutty b*tch, over Lilac saying "plsplspls" to Karma. This is exactly what this post is about, and this is on one of Ana's yapping side blogs' accounts.

She treats her own spiraling as a performance and then demands that other people warn her before they vent.

Both Lilac and Karma found her recent vent account and reblogged it. This also isn't the first time Ana's vent account got leaked; you'll see in the image below.

After being caught, Ana deactivated her recent vent account (belovedofbarbatos), and ranted on her main before deleting and then making an announcement post saying she'd be offline for a very long time. Her ass is too chronically online for that, and she's still active on her @windspokenwhispers sideblog.

She only cares that she got caught.

Ana and minors.

This is the part that made me decide I needed to post this.

Someone sent Ana an anonymous ask saying: "Am I allowed to join in on the flirting if I'm 16?" Her response: "YUHP!! Just clarify that at first and make sure it's nothing tooooo suggestive, ur still underage! however in some countries that's legal, and I don't mind harmless stuff."

When someone called her out for flirting with a minor while being almost 21, she defended herself by saying she's only ever said things like "IMMA KISS YOU" and "I WANNA CUDDLE" and that those are platonic. The tag's on the post don't help the accusations.

On her recently deactivated vent account, she interacted with an anonymous person who said they were 15. Ana's response? She doesn't mind.

She doesn't fucking mind that a 15-year-old is looking at a vent blog that talks about serious topics, including self-harm.

When she started getting called out for this, she posted: "no becuz why am i getting pedo allegations" with tags about how she's just showing "platonic affection."

Ana is nearing 21, and she posts content not safe for minors while actively seeking new mutuals with anyone of any age (unless they're under 11, because that's her minimum apparently).

Why am I posting this?? It's a community concern.

Because Ana is an extrovert. She's outgoing and chatty, and she comes across as friendly and fun at first. She reaches out to people in the Genshin writing community, and if you're new to the community or shy, that attention feels good. That's exactly why it's dangerous.

The people who chose to interact with her deserve to know that the person behind the friendly posts has a vent account where she wishes death on her once closest friends. That she sent her own ex-best friend anonymous hate and then pretended to protect her from it. That she tells minors she doesn't care about their age.

I also want to make something very clear: Lilac and Karma are the victims in this situation. Both of them are people Ana called her best friends, while privately writing about wanting them dead. Lilac was harassed by Ana's alt account. Both of them were targeted on the vent account. They've already dealt with enough, leave them alone.