wyll ravengard romancer (astarion girlies dni)

my boss's trans lesbian daughter gave me really gross Chinese liquor

great mnemonic for the names of the planets

kitten fever is worse than baby fever because a kitten is way easier to obtain than a baby so it's more dangerous

you cant obtain me. tiger stance

my "I'm with the boomers on this one" take is that I should not need an app to park my fucking car. increasingly when I'm out and about and need to use public parking, the only option is an app. no. no. give me a meter I can plug the loose change from the bottom of my purse into. worst comes to absolute worst give me a machine to insert my credit card which prints a receipt for the dashboard of my car (I don't like those either but at least they are on site). "to pay for parking, download our app!" why don't you download my ass

in the middle of crying for no reason i was interrupted by the sounds of one of my neighbors blasting "shadow the hedgehog pissed on my fucking wife" so loud it echoed around the courtyard outside

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

this is america son you rip that cart til it tastes like pool liner gotdammit

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

leave no noob unpwned