Youāre not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.
Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Mike Driver
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ā
we're not kids anymore.
YOU ARE THE REASON
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romaā
Noah Kahan
EXPECTATIONS
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if i look back, i am lost
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@tigercallalily
Youāre not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.
Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

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Since people seem to like my pride outfit!
Woah woah this has 1000 notes. I'm super flattered and I will bench press each and every one of you.
I can't believe you're this many notes in and nobody knows you handstitched the flag.
Oh hell was i supposed to mention that?
I handstitched the flag.
the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.
they couldn't put him in the beer campaign so he was represented by a bunch of berries
cats always step precisely on your most sensitive areas when theyre crawling on you lovingly for cuddles. bladder dick ovaries boobs stomach bruise it doesnt matter. they have homing devices on their paws for the exact area youāre most tender at the moment and they put their full weight into that step. and sometimes they might keep their stance midstride so theyre just standing there forever forcing you to endure the pain. because they are simply too cute to get mad at
let me. innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

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Hi, Foone here, I'm a retrocomputer educator! I'm here to explain the real reason this laptop is like this.
So this is the Panasonic PRONOTE PD CF-62, it's a Pentium 133mhz running Windows 95, released in August 1996. Panasonic did this sort of trick more than once, they did a similar thing with an under-keyboard CD-ROM drive in the PD CF-41, from 1995.
This one is so fancy because that's not just a self-loading under-keyboard laptop CD-ROM drive, it's a HYBRID PD/CD-ROM self-loading under-keyboard laptop drive! It has to be this complex because it takes PD discs (which are the size of caddies) and caddyless CD-ROMs!
So what's PD discs?
They're an optical format by Panasonic, the Phase-change Dual (or Phase-change Disc). They're from 1996, store as much as CD, but are rewritable... much like the later CD-RWs which used basically the same technology, just in a slightly different format. Unlike CD-RWs (which you had to burn (usually), they acted like a hard drive, fully rewritable at any point. That's why the disc is hard-sectored, which you can see through the shutter gap. Those vertical lines indicate where sectors start and end.
So yeah, this laptop has a complex drive that can take both types of discs, and the whole thing folds under the keyboard. Fucking wild.
But the root reason, of course, is that they did this because it's a cool design, and they wanted to do that. Why did they think this was cool, why did they want to do this?
Pervert reasons.
Next question!
the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck
this is what ancient greek philosophy is like
False! āSightlyā is a positive word, so the default way for things to work is good as well.
The true most ordinary object is beautiful, horrible sounding, very smelly, intangible, and delicious.
I still donāt think it matches anything in existence but to truly understand a thing one must know its true nature.
"touchy" is also a word! however it's mostly used for things that aren't objects, like subjects of conversation. it either means "oversensitive and irritable" or "requires careful handling/wording, delicate"
i think the second one works well for our hypothetical object. so we can use that.
therefore, the Default Object is:
beautiful
makes a horrendous sound
smells absolutely awful
is very fragile
tastes delicious
and i still cannot think of anything that matches this
behold, the default object!
DEFAULT OBJECT FOUND
behold a man
Diogenes would be so proud, y'all
Tumblr being the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension site makes sense when you realize that 79% of adults in the US are functionally illiterate. Same goes for Twitter and TikTok.
that's a real high number, sport. where'd you get it?
hey anon
please tell me you didn't google "US literacy rates" and then make the funniest possible mistake one could make in that situation
girl unhinge ur jaw
UNCLENCH. I MEANT UNCLENCH

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Just got a call from AT&T. Pretended I didn't know what AT&T was. Asked them to explain what they do. They said they're the American Telephone and Telegram services. "Dude, it's 2026. Telegrams are still a thing? Isn't that from 1800s? How are you all still in business?"
Dude hung up on me.
1) any stretching is better than no stretching
2) any vegetable is better than no vegetable
3) statistically you will never be the worst person at anything, there is always someone in the world who is worse at stuff than you are
You wouldnāt think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. Itās like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.
For everyone in the comments asking how flamingos are extremophiles:
Flamingos can survive in low oxygen, high altitude, high temperatures, low temperatures, high alkaline, they can and will drink boiling water and they can be completely frozen at night and still get up the next morning
Donāt fuck with flamingos
ā¦.. Didnāt know most of that
Huh⦠so thatās why zoos donāt put them somewhere warm during winter.
Oh yeah, this leaves out what I *did* know about themāthey can also survive hypersalinity. That is, water so salty it kills practically everything elseāwater so salty it burns your skin.
American flamingos just drink that shit
(animal death) this is a real undoctored photograph (*though the body was stood up for the shot) of a dead flamingo on the surface of lake natron, a lake so salty and so alkaline that itās naturally carbonated like soda and would eat through your stomach lining if you drank from it.
When this photo went viral years ago, most people assumed this poor flamingo must have been killed by the lake.
It is actually the lake where 75% of its global population are hatched. This is a photo from the same lake:
Some species of flamingo actually subsist almost entirely on a diet of bacteria! In other words, there is a species of dinosaur that eats only bacteria and lives in lakes so toxic they would kill almost anything elseāand it is best known to the average person as a kitschy lawn decoration.
requested by anonymous:
RATING: RELIABLE
Flamingos can survive in high altitudes, hypersaline conditions, and caustic lakes.
Source: āAll flamingo species have evolved to live in some of the planetās most extreme wetlands, like caustic āsoda lakesā, hypersaline lagoons or high-altitude salt flats.ā
They can survive water so alkaline it burns human skin.
Source: āMore than a million lesser flamingos breed in Tanzaniaās Lake Natron, for instance, a lake fed by hot springs with water so alkaline that it can strip away human skin (one pioneering flamingo researcher named Leslie Brown spent months in Nairobi General Hospital after burning his legs wading out to observe where the birds nested).ā
They can drink water at near-boiling temperatures.
Source: āThey can drink water at near boiling point to collect freshwater from springs and geysers at lake edges. If no freshwater is available, flamingos can use glands in their head that remove salt, draining it out from their nasal cavity.ā
The lakes they inhabit can freeze overnight, and the flamingos can survive once it thaws in the morning.
Source: āThe birds may seem to epitomize the tropics, but they also live in the Andes, 15,000 feet above sea level, where they rest on lakes that freeze around them overnight.
āYouāll see them sitting there like snowballs, frozen on ice,ā Dr. Arengo said. āAnd as the temperature warms up, they thaw out, fluff themselves up and go about their business.āā
The photo is indeed from Lake Natron, taken by photographer Nick Brandt. The content of the lake chemically preserves animal corpses that die there. You can see more photos of this here.
It is also true that 75% of Lesser Flamingos are hatches on Lake Natron.
Source: āThe lakeās landscape is surreal and deadlyāand made even more bizarre by the fact that itās the place where nearly 75 percent of the worldās lesser flamingos are born.ā
Some species of Flamingo eat cyanobacteria or algae.
Source: āFlamingos have very specialised diets. And their food is responsible for their famous pink colouration. The two species in Planet Earth II eat a lot of floating microscopic algae, which contains carotenoid pigments, the same types of chemical that make carrots orange. These pigments turn their feathers pink, orange and red ā without them, flamingos would be white.ā
⦠@todaysbird ??
yeah theyāre just like that
information that is also important
a while ago I read this sci-fi short story from the 50s where a guy is kidnapped and interrogated by aliens using a very sophisticated lie detector, but he realizes that the lie detector works off technical truth, and with some careful phrasing and misdirection, he manages to make them believe that humans are a race of immortal, overpowered, omniscient telepathic beings. and it works.
my favorite part is when he tells them that humans are "capable of transportation without the aid of spaceships or any vehicles, just by using mental power to control physical matter". it's true, we can. it's called walking.
okay I found it, it's The Best Policy by Randall Garrett
and it has other gems such as "I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what every member of my race thinks of you" (they don't know you exist) and "every human knows exactly as much about the location of your home planet as I do" (nothing)
the more i talk w/ leftist friends the more i start to realize that they think culture is only defined by food or "traditional" (i.e. "ethnic") garb and nothing else
mentioned how white americans do in fact have a common culture and they genuinely thought i was joking. culture isnt something only granted to the Cool People of Color. just feels like among progressive groups there's this dichotomy created in which only the virtuous oppressed minorities have culture and anyone who is privileged some sort of void cultureless being
When I visited Chicago, the very first thing to weird me out from the airport was⦠how almost everywhere had revolving doors.
Iām Australian. Sure, we do have those doors, but the vast majority of places in Sydney are automatic sliding doors or old-fashioned manual push/pulls because we donāt need to block out the cold and wind the same way here.
So every day I experienced a culture clash with something as basic as what doors were normal for me.
Americans who say they donāt have a culture are plagued with defaultism beyond belief. Culture isnāt just made up of costumes and language and the largest stuff, itās constructed of a billion small things you do every day that you never even consider could be different because thatās just ānormalā to your daily life. No one has no culture just because theyāre not adhering to the biggest markers they can consciously recognise.
Yes, I have these saved for exactly this reason.

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A three-circle venn-diagram where the circles are "sex workers", "the furry community", and "people working in morgues". I don't know what the overlap parts are.
Fourth circle needed: IT workers
You say that with such confidence that I am compelled to trust your vision. Personally I have no idea where this is going.
i'd say the overlap between "sex workers" and "people who work in morgues" is probably "seeing naked strangers a lot"
"professional handling of bodies of strangers"?
Putting my neck out for you folks here
Okay Iāve gone through many of the reblogs and āprefer when clients donāt talk to themā is peak
People in a fandom who donāt post art/fics, but who reblog/like/follow/otherwise support artists and creators, my beloveds
If artists are the backbone of a fandom, then you all are the muscles. Connecting everyone and everything. Spreading fun and whimsy. Thatās real neat, I think
I adore you all so much