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@reading-wanderer
This user supports AO3
This user is anti-censorship
This user believes in “don’t like, don’t read”
This user believes in “ship and let ship”
This user believes that fiction tastes and preferences do not dictate moral character
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i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
@sineala
#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan
“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”
*prolonged silence* “oh my…”
“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”
*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.
actual footage of first contact makeouts
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)
Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture
Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job
proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.
once my therapist said I used very uncommon and creative phrases and adjectives and i just did not have the heart to tell that Old Lady From A Foreign Small Town that I was translating tumblr speech into our language. so I was like yeah... must be from the books I read...
like girl we have an army of scholars over at tumblr.com crafting our language it's not just little old me I swear
I once called a colleague's Borzoi a beautiful Gentle Alien, assuming the term had long since become commonplace outside of Tumblr, and discovered when he burst into delighted laughter at the term that it Had Not. I had to explain to him that I'm not a comedy genius, just repeating a niche meme.
Let's ambush mama! 😼
"Why do Pallas cats always look grumpy?"
"Pallas kittens."
The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.
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I haven't had the energy to log in and thank everyone personally yet (the weather in MN is killing me rn), but thank you to everyone who donated to my Ko-fi so we could get our dishwasher repaired.
The company I bought the unit from--and which I supposedly have an extended warranty with that they're refusing to cover, but that's another matter--quoted me 4-6 weeks to come look at the machine for a diagnostic, then warned me there was another 6-8 week wait for parts.
They also quoted me several hundred dollars for the estimated parts, which they were going to order pre-inspection (????), and told me it'd be $400 for some rubber tubing, which was the likely culprit. And then another $900 for labor, not including the diagnostic testing.
Well, thanks to the very kind people who donated, I was able to call another company that came out the next day, told me the problem wasn't with any tubing at all, but the water sensor at the base of the machine was busted, and then quoted me $700 to replace it. Bracing for the worst, I asked about the timeline for parts and how much everything would cost in total, including labor.
Yeah, turns out that $700 included parts, labor, and diagnostic testing.
Oh, and ordering the official licensed parts took a week.
I told him the other place told me it'd be almost two months to order parts, and he asked who the company was, rolled his eyes, and said, "Yeah, they've been doing that. They're trying to get you to just buy a whole new machine."
Anyway. He showed up this morning at 7:30 a.m. and fixed it. I have a working dishwasher again. Thank you for helping with that <3
Basically the exact same thing is happening with me rn, but Whirlpool are evil and refuse to send the parts to our local guy so we have no choice but to buy a new one. Which we can't afford. So we're just stuck handwashing everything until something dramatically changes.
We had such awful luck with all of the “brand new” Whirlpool machines that were in this house when we moved in, so unfortunately, this doesn’t surprise me. It felt like every few months a different machine broke. The only thing that was solid was the refrigerator but that thing was built pre-enshitification of everything. It could have survived a nuclear blast. I actually regret not keeping it and moving it out to the garage or something.
I wish you luck trying to replace things when you can. I know for me the dishwasher is a major appliance I struggle without. My back just can’t handle standing/sitting at the sink like that anymore.
Just watched Adam Conover (of Adam Ruins Everything) make such a solid point that I think we should spread far and wide. Yes, having AI write your emails is lazy, sure, but people love being lazy. We need to really emphasize that sending AI emails (or using AI responses on social media, or publishing AI flyers, or or or) is rude.
It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.
It's rude.
It's not just rude to make me read something you didn't want to write. It is that you expect me to respond to your email written by Claude. You don't even want me to talk to you. You want me to talk to Claude so that you can make Claude respond for you. It is rude to expect me to talk to a chatbot when I wanted to talk to you.
This may be the best Pride merch I've seen from a major corporation.
Levi's said yes, actually. Assless chaps and a biker vest. Happy Pride.
And the assless chaps sold out on June 1.
They also specifically contacted members of the leather community, used them as models iirc, and donated $100k to Outright International. They talked the talk and walked the walk and put their money on it too. I don't really care that I can't afford and don't want this merch, I love to see my community getting the respect it deserves. Levi's said, "We make jeans which gays wear lots of jeans? Oh leather daddies? Let's call them."
I think Levi's donates to Outreach International every year too, as well as sponsoring pride events and other community support. They were offering Same Sex domestic partner benefits to employees in the 90s, and have been very public about their support for pro-lgbt legislation all through the 2000s.
So, you know, a giant corporation that walks the walk pretty consistently.
And yes, crass consumerism, don't give the capitalists too much credit when they're making money off of us, etc. But this year, when SO MANY companies have proven that they were only ever in it to make money off of us and the moment they got the slightest bit of push-back from bigots, to have a company stand up and do this, seemingly enthusiastically involving the queer community in the marketing campaign, it means something. And Levi's is an all-American, cowboys and rodeos and apple pie type of company. They're openly saying here that they believe diversity is an American value. I think it's worth paying attention when a company does that.
We stopped trying to buy cat beds because the cats just pull drying kitchen towels down and sit on those
Kneading mat made for kitty comfort? No. Stolen kitchen towel from the stove handle? Yes.
We just let them do it at this point. Stealing the towels must be a form of enrichment for them or something and it reminds us to wash our towels more frequently.
I bought Ollie a bed and he refused to use it so I commandeered it for a chair cushion. Only when it was throughly broken in did he deign to nap upon it. I think its a combo of "smells like home" and "good location"
In horrid biphobic news, I just got my gorgeous beautiful wonderful book on fabric dyeing with fungi in the middle of fucking February, when all outside is a frozen waste with nary a living plant or mushroom to be seen.
Woe is me. I want to go root around in the woods after mushrooms like a bog witch and see if I can find the ones that make wool go pretty colors.
SIGHING WISTFULLY OUT THE WINDOW AT THE FROZEN GROUND
All those colors are possible with mushrooms?! How permanent does the book say they are? Do you need any chemicals to set them properly?
I'm looking at that color palette in awe
Yes!!! All these colors are from mushrooms! She specifically only includes those with good wash and light fastness in this book. All use mordants to fix the dyes, or mostly anyway. Iron, alum, copper, or tin.
The book is BRILLIANT and also covers making the pigments into lake pigments with alum, and then using them with gum arabic to make watercolor paints. I'm not a painter so that's of less interest to me than the dyes, but for other folks it might be very helpful.
WAIT YOU SPECIFICALLY GET BACK HERE THIS IS SO FASCINATING I NEED MORE
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Bat Pendants Inspired by non-anatomically correct bat shapes on Halloween decorations. Available in my shop in about 2 weeks.
Howdy, I was looking at your good Vlad Au, and it reminded me of the whole button in the portal thing. Did Vlad ever talk to Jack or Maddie about that interesting design choice?
Ya know. When you’re right, you’re right!
(Also thank you @ectospacecadet for the wonderful “Danny Wall Imprint” idea)
3 pm: god, I'm EXHAUSTED. going to bed early for SURE.
midnight: I Have Literally Never Been More Awake And Alert
Fave Tropes Tag Game!
Tagged by: I stole this from @redrobin-detective
slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high-school romance or middle-age romance // time travel or isolated together //neighbors or roommates // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or genderbent // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane // happy ending or unhappy ending
I tag: @ink-blooded @everybodyloveshippos @reading-wanderer @steamclouds @howmanyyams @rukafais
slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high-school romance or middle-age romance // time travel or isolated together //neighbors or roommates // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or genderbent // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane // happy ending or unhappy ending
I’m tagging: @jackdaw-sprite @atreefullofstars @seaglass-skies @ovytia @five-rivers
Here's my post for Day 2! I'm team11!
This time it's a Selkie AU collaboration with @ted8ug. Thank you, Ted, for inviting me to join this project. I'm so happy to have the chance to draw such a unique Stobotnik!Creating with other artists is always such a joy! @stoblinarmyhub
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
This is my art piece for Across the Stobverse 2026 hosted by @stoblinarmyhub! It's for Tedbug's lovely, cute selkie fic. Read it HERE :D
I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.
