ugh—

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

marijuana and ibuprofen are a pair of gay angels with a very powerful message

I was doing so well [pushing myself to get back to baseline] recently, and now all of the sudden [after pushing myself] out of nowhere [as a result of pushing myself] I’m stuck in bed again with no energy? What happened!? [I ignored my body]

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss

Happy anniversary to this post 💕🌈♿️

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry

This is poetry.

I fucking laughed till I cried so hard I had to take my glasses off. Jesus Christ that’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen all week.

The great part of being queer AND disabled is that I get to party TWO MONTHS IN A ROW!

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

lesbian scifi is so easy. here’s a woman in cargo pants and a tank top on a spaceship. are you with me

maybe it’s not even cargo pants. maybe it’s coveralls rolled to + tied around the waist. maybe she even has fuckoff boots

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

First time I see the full lyrics without it being take me to snurch (snail church)

What really makes this for me is that OP could have phoned it in on the chorus and just repeated the same fics, but no. They found a unique one every time. Class act.

the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating

i love a fog. i love a woods.

I love to munch a fresh baked goods