KIROKAZE
trying on a metaphor
blake kathryn
Andulka
icyghini twinkie
Product Placement
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
tumblr dot com
Mike Driver
Stranger Things
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
noise dept.
Origami Around
oozey mess
Discoholic 🪩
One Nice Bug Per Day
YOU ARE THE REASON
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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@thismakesmesick
i hate how sexualized advertisements are. young boys are growing up seeing women constantly presented as objects, young girls are growing up learning to constantly objectify themselves. but of course people will accuse you of perpetuating purity culture if you point out how fucked it is
This shit doesnt even make the makeup look good. They're not selling to us. Theyre selling to men who think of the women in their lives as porn.
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Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.
It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.
Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.
Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.
Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)
Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!
You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!
If you want it in a simple phrase:
You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.
Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!
Adding my 2 cents worth that I learned from my time in DBT.
Guilt and shame are NOT the same emotion!
Theyre very similar, but theres a key difference. Guilt comes from an internal source and shame external.
What do I mean? Well, when you feel guilt, its because you've betrayed your own morals. Youve done something you view as bad, and you feel guilty for defying your own moral code.
Shame, however, is external and comes from our individual societies, and has nothing to do with moral codes (in the way guilt does). Shame comes from how OTHERS perceive you. You go to school, and wet yourself, you feel shame because the other kids point and laugh, they think less of you now. You may know it was an accident, and accidents happen, and thats okay! But because other people now think less of you for it, you feel bad.
Not taking away the points of OP, i still agree, just think it might be useful to distinguish between the two emotions because they are not the same.
Adding my 2 cents
worth that I learned from my
time in DBT.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
gym inspo for you guys
I set two alarms every morning and I set them for like forty five minutes before when I want to actually get up so I can snooze them for that time, but anyway, this morning my first alarm went off and I snoozed it, and then I woke up naturally and was like huh. It feels like it’s been a long time since my alarm went off and it should be going off every eight minutes after I snooze. So I check my phone and apparently it decided to update the software after my first alarm went off and I snoozed it, which canceled my other alarms. Thank god I just woke up on my own and wasn’t late to work. I picked up my phone to check the time and it was like “welcome, get started setting up your phone” or whatever the message is when it updates. Ridiculous.
That’s convenient .
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i say yay outloud too like this isn't just my internet persona this is real me
In fact, I am more cringe irl.
Yaayyyyy
"Grace Ryland is Rocky's dog" is such a funny fucking dynamic when you think about it
Eridians are further behind than humans technologically right? They dont have computers, relativity, quantum mechanics, etc. In fact, Eridians probably dont even know about the Big Bang because their atmosphere would filter out most of the cosmic microwave background radiation we use to detect it. On a human timeline, theyre anywhere between like early-mid 20th century. Rocky's basically a cosmonaut.
So the human civilization is pretty advanced from Rocky's perspective. Rationally he understands this. On a conceptual level he knows this to be true.
But at the same time... imagine youre one of the first ever cosmonauts to make it into space. Then you meet a 10 year old alien dog who cant do 2+2 without pulling out its calculator. It forgets everything constantly and has to keep notes everywhere, like it basically lives in Memento (2000). Also if it doesnt nap constantly it gets even stupider. And you somehow has to reconcile this with the fact that this dog has a better understanding of physics than your entire civilization does. Like the dog knows how the universe started.
does anyone have more examples of posts like this where theyre suggesting new features that would make this site more like a funhouse/mirror maze
you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time
would you like to share with the class 🤔
saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute
would you like to unshare with the class
the day that I discovered that one button, that's on the side of the bus, that opens that back doors, I truly reached godhood.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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it's weird transphobes keep providing so many gender neutral bathroom options to the public but i heard conservatives do tend to be really into piss kink so
I saved this right after I left my mother's home, when I was even more prone to self-flagellation.
I am not in my mother's home anymore, even when I visit her.
Helplessness is learned. Hopelessness is learned. They are tools in your father's toolbox. They are furniture in your mother's house- just as much as I was. I left them there. I don't furnish my home with them.
Someone has been attempting to fax* something to my work telephone for the past three days, with escalating frequency. This happens every so often; either someone's giving out my number as their fax number, or possibly some company somewhere has a list of "frequently faxed numbers" by the fax machine and mine is on there instead of the correct one. Usually I get like, three calls in a day, then they figure it out and it doesn't happen again for a couple of months.
* A fax machine, kids, is what we would use to send documents before email. You feed the paper copy into the machine, and it scans it and sends it to another machine in the other person's office, which prints out a copy. Why anyone sends faxes anymore is a mystery because they are less reliable than email and less info-secure than your average wet paper bag but hotels and doctors' offices really fuckin' love them a fax.
This person is clearly either stubborn or stupid. Could be both! But letting it go to voicemail repeatedly didn't work, answering and yelling "If you can hear me this is not a fax machine!" didn't work (sometimes it does -- some combined phone-fax machines, if they call you, they broadcast any audible response to whoever is nearby), and calling them didn't work because *gestures* all I have is their fax number.
I might also be stupid because it took me a while to realized I can fax them.
Hello! Please be advised that the phone number [my work number] is not a fax machine. It is my work telephone number. You have been faxing an incorrect number. I cannot receive faxes at this number. If you are aware of anyone who is giving this number out as their fax number, you would be doing me a favor if you let them know! Thank you and good luck in your faxing endeavors.
I'm especially proud of that last line. I hope it helps to convey that while I am very much in earnest in wanting them to STOP FAXING ME, I am also amused at the situation and want them to succeed.
if i had a fax machine i would send my friends cute little pictures all the time. i would fax random fax numbers from the internet trying to find penpals like a message in a bottle. i would send people little origamis to cut out and fold. i would make all my favourite people have fax machines so i could put them on my zine subscription service without their consent. sometimes I might just send people leaves or chocolate wrappers. instax, please make fax machines new and cool again, IT'S TIME
This I want this, I just need to figure out how to obtain a fax.
the best part of field trip experiments is a chance to become THE experiment yourself ;)
there should be a pill you can take one time that will shrivel up your uterus and abort it through one last horrible period
So I was seeing a gynaecologist recently about getting an IUD and he was like:
"Well if you get an infection make sure you treat it really fast or it could spread to your ovaries and make you infertile"
...oh...interesting...I did not know this was an option...will keep it...in mind...
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man im high af thought house was talkin to a mini wilson
