♡Nuis✰nce♡

This is probably gonna be my last post for a while chat. I'm leaving from vacation tomorrow and don't have access to Tumblr n shit cause my dad has weird WiFi restrictions at my house. No clue when ill be back. I might try to get back on if I have a sleepover with my friends or anything over the summer, but if you don't see me for a while don't worry. My brother @gerardwaysmissingballsack may be a little more active though so if you wanna check in on him feel free to. I may not be online for weeks or maybe months. It just depends. (Im currently posting on my tablet that I'm technically not even allowed to have while on vacation so yeah. I have restrictions for most interesting websites when I'm at my home. I can really only do youtube. But on my phone I have ibispaint and can do wattpad and quotev. I've already tried to do Tumblr and Pinterest on there but it won't let me cause I have like age restrictions and all this shit on my phone that don't let me go to the websites even though they're like crazy age restrictions and I'm not even allowed to use some apps that are rated +4 which is fucking wild like zawgggg I'm literally a teenager. Plus a fricking app that like basically tracks everything I do on my phone so I might me grilled and it also sends my dad notifications if I say something mildly freaky or something like that. And my parents low-key just don't trust me cause they found out one time that I read fanfiction and decided that it was OVER for my trust with a device and have since then had so many restrictions, I don't even know how my dad got them all.)

Shoutout to my brother @gerardwaysmissingballsack (being a ballsack runs in the family)

Does anyone else ever get this sorta sickening ish feeling in their stomach or like feeling like you're really hungry even though you've eaten plenty of food today, over the fact that you're not living life like/with your favorite characters??? It low-key sucks cause what do you mean I watch a movie that I LOVE and then HATE my life after that??? Because I literally love it so much and I really wanna be in the same universe, getting up to all the silly little shenanigans they're getting up to, maybe date one of them in a sweet little way (but then remembering I'm probably too chopped to pull any of them so I just gotta ball). Its driving me insane. Its like I have to think about them CONSTANTLY to keep myself from thinking about other things, but I also can't think about them, cause then the yearning gets worse until my mood is literally ruined over the fact that I missed out on so much. And like I feel dissatisfied with life most days, and whenever I do feel super excited/happy about it I suck at showing it/it doesn't last.

"Are you man enough?" but it's Ponyboy walking into the Curtis household and saying "Johnny's dead" in an emotionless voice, and then watching Dally get shot dead right in front of his very eyes -the same eyes that had just witnessed as his best friend took his last breath on a hospital bed- and then convincing his whole brain that Johnny was still alive and completely gas-lighting himself until he couldn't even tell what was reality anymore, or if it was all just a figment of his imagination, and believing wholeheartedly that Johnny was genuinely still alive and that that still body back at the hospital simply wasn't Johnny.

whats so funny to me is that in the book Ponyboy was like, 'I'm such a good liar,' and in the movie he was like, 'oh ummm yeah, we're playing army and uhhh I'm uhhh supposed to report back to headquarters' like bro really thinks he's smooth