~a nothing-burger girl!~

Percy 🎸🍺

In school, people either A) thought he was stupid and unbearable, B) were scared of him, or C) didn't know him well enough to have a proper opinion of him

Got suspended on a regular basis, and he eventually dropped out before he could finish senior year

Despite seeming wild, there were times he'd drown in self-hatred over being stupid (normally after he fought with his mother).

He self-harmed from the age of 14-17. He started this as a way to let off steam, but eventually, it became a need to do it.

Snuck off (I MEAN, went) to his first rock concert when he was 13, which kicked off his love for rock music.

Aside from having mood issues, he suffered from insomnia, due to his drug habits and genetics (you can see this in my first teen! pluntbooze fanfic)

He received letters from Lester, who was living with their dad, but Percy never bothered to read them since, for one, he couldn't read, and two, he harbored a deep grudge against him for hitting the baseball too hard (fuck the ball, all my girls hate the ball)

His mom kicked him out a week before he turned 18 because of how sick she was of his attitude. Percy, not having anywhere to stay, decided to become a vagabond, until the government made him join the army.

Went back to the streets following his dischargement from the army, until Marty took him in with Charlie

Anastasia 💗🎪

Because she moved around so much as a teenager, she struggled to form genuine connections with her school peers. You could say she was a teensy bit introverted then, unlike how she is as an adult.

Anastasia actually had good grades at school, especially in mathematics

Most people only talked with her spontaneously, but no one ever really went up to ask for friendship, aside from one or two people (holy SELF-PROJECTION). Other kids tried to slut-shame her, due to her reputation of being a clown girl that lost her v-card at 13, but she could beat them up good, trust me.

Definitely liked maraschino cherries and going to thrift stores with her older sister (who I named Allison...i like the idea, Allie and Annie). Oh, and ABBA.

Her relationship with her mother was a bit rocky, to say the least. Anastasia's notions were very contrasting to her mum's, leading to arguments. More often than not, they forget about them within a day and get back on good terms with each other. (more self-projection ugh).

As for Anastasia's father, she didn't have clear memories of him, since he ran out on her mother not long after putting Anastasia in a mental hospital when she was around 12.

Anastasia got along best with her sister, who was like a safe space for her. They were also both in the travelling clown troupe, because Allison had heard about Anastasia loosing her virginity, which horrified her so much that she convinced her mother to go with Annie so she could protect her.

Anastasia only attended the clown troupe during summers, which she hated because of how often she sweated in the heat.

Upon meeting Percy, Anastasia instantly pursued him, despite her sister telling her he was bad news. Oh, how Annie wishes she'd listened to her...

Although she was not mentally prepared to be a mother at a young age, she'd always wanted to have kids, so she went along with the pregnancy, which made her mom disown her

Charlie 🪩🚬

Didn't attend school until after he and Percy ended "Fuck Magnum"

He didn't like ladybugs and mustard, for some reason

His relationship with his adoptive father was pretty healthy, despite the fact his father was an alcoholic that got him addicted to pot. He was the one that taught Charlie how to play songs on his first banjo

He was deeply horrified to see his adoptive father die and the burning house, which also had his original banjo. The banjo Charlie has now is a different one from that first one.

Charlie was the type of teen to use humor and pot to forget about his trauma, which, to be fair, only helped a little.

After the death of his father and his cult escape, Charlie stole a truck and, for almost two years (15-17), lived in motel after motel, which he afforded through selling booze. Every time he got kicked out, he spent time on the streets dealing booze and drugs until he had enough to stay in another motel. If he couldn't find a vacant motel, he simply slept in his truck, leading to bad posture in his adult years.

As soon as he discovered disco dancing, he threw himself into that lifestyle wholeheartedly, going to parties, dancing and drinking until the butt-crack of dawn. This lifestyle choice was also how he met Percy (I'll explain that in a separate post)

Met Marty while drinking at the Toe for the first time. When Charlie mentioned he didn't have a home, Marty let him live with him

If you ever wondered, Charlie got his afro and disco outfit using the money he got from dealing

Despite not exactly being considered 'hot,' he definitely had the charisma and coquetry to make up for that

Marty 🍻💢

He got good enough grades (As and Bs), but was mostly known at school for having a temper

Was in a friend group with Eustace and Tammy (the two people from 'Booze Club'), which gave Marty some popularity

Shared a class with Percy, who teased him relentlessly until Marty beat him up for pulling his curls when he wouldn't give him smokes

His father was the original owner of the Camel Toe Inn, and because Marty was an only child, he was expected to keep the bar up and running after his dad retired

Had a thing for black-haired girls, but never admitted it

Before getting ownership of the Toe, Marty helped as a server, which he didn't exactly like that much.

You know the woman we see in the flashback of 'Booze Club?' The one that Marty forced to drink constantly? Yeah, she ended up dying from acute alcohol intoxication. Marty thought she was being lazy when he found her unconscious, but as soon as he realized she was dead, he was horrified, especially when he was told by Eustace to just get rid of the evidence, since Marty didn't want to get arrested

The incident took a grave mental toll on Marty. Ridden with guilt, he subjected himself to bed-rotting. He developed the notion that he was unworthy of any love, and also contemplated suicide at one point.

When his father found out about Marty's bed-rotting, he sent him to a mental hospital for a month. Even after getting treatment (no one ever found out that Marty killed someone), the incident still haunts him to this day.

After this, Marty managed to get his bartender licence and distanced himself from Eustace and Tammy

Marty definitely prefers Charlie over Percy, even after his relationship with the latter improved after their school incidents

Timmy and Kevin stumbled into view, causing Bradley and Shawna to break away in confusion.

Bradley asked Timmy and Kevin what the hell they were doing here.

Kevin, not being one to admit the truth, lied that Timmy had the bright idea of stalking Shawna and Bradley, and that he had nothing to do with this to begin with.

"BULLSHIT!" Timmy screamed, pointing an accusatory finger at Kevin. "This was all Spencer's grand scheme, Bradley! Don't believe what he's sayi--uh, Shawna, you good?"

Shawna was glaring at Timmy and Kevin, her eyes practically spitting flamethrowers at the two. "You DIPSHITS! WHY CAN'T I KISS A GUY I LIKE WITHOUT GETTING INTERRUPTED!" she hollered, jumping to her feet. "JUST ONCE, I'D LIKE THAT TO HAPPEN!"

Hey, hey, Shawna, calm down, Bradley advised, trying to quell the tempest that was his possible girlfriend, but it was to no avail, as Shawna was already charging at Timmy and leaping on him.

"AH-ow! SHIT-I'm sorry, I-OW, FUCK, AAHH-! SPENCER-oof!--SAVE MEEE!" Timmy yelped pathetically as Shawna proceeded to mollywhop the living shit out of him for interrupting a good kiss. Kevin, of course, did nothing, and instead looked at his brother with a small smile.

Bradley raised his eyebrows.

So, Kevin said, you and Shawna, huh?

Bradley blushed the color of a cherry blossom. Yeah...I guess.

Kevin noticed how flustered his brother was. Hey, I'm not judging for once. Kinda makes sense anyways, considering you're both sociopathic.

Well, thanks for the approval, Bradley responded, chuckling. Besides, as terrifying and unpredictable as she normally is with me, I think she really does like me back. She even blushed when I told her she was a nice person to be with.

Kevin's eyes widened. Shawna? Liking you back? And blushing? Gee, get the fuckin' news crew in here.

"SPENCER! BRADLEY! HEELP!"

The two twins turned to see Timmy helplessly flailing like a fish as Shawna insulted and beat him. Bradley smiled broadly. He couldn't lie: Shawna looked pretty cute when she was kicking ass.

Nah, I think you're okay, Bradley said as Kevin took a cigarette from his pocket and lit it. He then glanced at Shawna and yelled, You get him, Shawna, baby!

Shawna's fist stopped mid-punch as she whipped her head to her new boyfriend with wide eyes.

"...What?" she whispered, heart fluttering for a whole different reason now. Of course, Kevin and Timmy noticed her flustered state and began whooping.

"Holy crap, Shawna, he just called you 'baby'!" Timmy screeched excitedly.

Oh my fucking God, she's blushing again? GET YOUR MAN! Kevin hollered, nudging Bradley. You got her good, Bradley!

Shawna rolled her eyes and got off Timmy. "Oh, be quiet, both of you. I ain't deaf!" she retorted, before walking up to Bradley, whose face shifted from playfulness to shyness.

O-oh--sorry about tha- Bradley stammered, until he felt a sharp yank on his bow tie and was pulled up to Shawna's face. Her eyes were soft and serene...not Shawna-like in the slightest.

"I didn't tell you to apologize, ya know," she teased, making it Bradley's turn to blush.

Then, not caring if Kevin and Timmy would start up another riot, Shawna locked her lips with Bradley's. The sensation, coupled with Bradley's hands finding her flushed cheeks, made a shiver run down her spine. Maybe...she could get used to this.

Timmy and Kevin exchanged a questioning glance.

"...Well, I have two questions: How 'bout we give these two some space, and can I get a smoke, Spencer?"

Sure to the first one, and absolutely fucking not to that second one.

~~~

I high-key feel like I'm on a writing downfall, plus I'm devoting energy to my PluntBooze fic, so I deeply apologize if this sucks asscheeks.

From what I’ve seen online, a lot of people hate season six the most.

I have that hatred for the last season, bc let’s be real…the only good things were the intro, the more fluid animation, and…like, one or two of the six episodes that show had.

‘The Missing Links’ was okay until the news segment scene came on…totally ruined the episode.

‘Hell or High Water’ was mid at most but bro…what was the need to kill off my goats Pornman and Afroman….and they never make it clear whether Charlie died or not, which I probably shouldn’t be surprised by.

‘Air Show’ was so boring I skipped through most of it. The “Percy Cartoon Funnies’ was pretty good though

As for ‘Finale’ (or ‘See You in Hell!’ depending on your streaming service)…yeah, probably the most unsatisfying finale I’ve seen from a show. I feel like it was…alright, until a bit after the scene where Marty shot himself in the head. The whole side-plot of Mr. Franklin trying to kill Kevin and Allen was lame, the scenes involving Percy’s rotting foot and body were not pleasant to watch, and…Kevin’s death scene feels like such an ass pull, even for a comedy that relies on shock value. I get that they wanted to do a final twist, but dude…..did y’all really need to make the whole show Allen’s hallucination? I was just caught off-guard in the worst way…ugh.

So yeah, by process of elimination, ‘Killing the Messenger’ and ‘Die a Lot More’ are the two episodes I actually found somewhat enjoyable, even though their plots are pretty much the same as ‘Add Beer Ad’ and ‘The Crime-Fighting Vagina,’ respectively.

So here’s my favorite-to-least-favorite episode list for season eight:

‘Die a Lot More’

‘Killing the Messenger’

‘The Missing Links’

‘Hell or High Water’

‘Air Show’

‘See You in Hell!’