Goblinland

[jojo pose] count dracula. [different jojo pose] nice to meet you. [jojo walk cycle] alexa, turn down the music! [the obnoxious music doesn't change volume] mr harker

Cuntula

Guy freezes his hair and it stands tall.

@danielhowell yeast boy 🫵

is it just me or is the yellow bird kinda gay

Big Bird from Sesame Street? Yes

i actually meant the one from angry birds, but this is very useful information, thank you

angry and fruity seems like a good combo

this world deserves more angry and fruity ppl

okay, apparently there are most gay yellow birds than i thought

#the inherent homosexuality of yellow birds

my dear husband, thou art not helping my efforts to sail unnoticed below the hungry gazes of the masses that with their fingers ready to strike, poised to brand fortune's next fool with fame, people this godforsaken pit of mockery and twisted gaiety

Are my eyes in want of spectacles that they have such deceived me on this day or is it true that thou wouldst greet with formal address such a fool as the one that hath left those half-witted words at my feet? Sooner this post my epitaph will be than even a thousand men behold my words. By claiming those who cannot see this as thy superior thou hast deposed thine own intellect. Thine inferiority is but self-made. Cast it off and with it the notions that more people will note my ramblings than 'tis usual.

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it ith the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

i meant to empty my contact lens case of cleaner and instead launched my allergy pills down the drain. wasn't even holding the lens case

once confidently pointed my car keys at the door out of my house and pressed the unlock button

when I used to drive I once walked to the front and bend down as if to start the crank. like. an a fuckin olde timey car. I never did it before or again but I will never forget how second nature it felt nor the cold breeze of 'what the fuck' that instantly followed

i once got home and tried to eat my dog's squeaky ball like an orange. thank god i didn't try to eat it like an apple, because after trying and failing to peel a small tennis ball for a couple seconds to get at the fruit, the rest of my brain kicked in.

There have been a handful of times where I have woken up in the middle of the night to my tv still being on, grabbed my phone, held it up to the tv, repeatedly pressed the power button at it with increasing frustration, only to realize minutes later that I was not in fact holding the tv remote at all.

ALSO A DADDY LONG LEGS is different in the UK vs USA. I learned that by arguing with some Brits because they said there was a daddy long legs on the wall, i looked and only saw an insect, argued with them all for 45 minutes until we all looked it up and saw that we were both correct.

an extremely good post addition

Awwwww what an adorable addition!

To the surprise of probably nobody who knows me, rewatching Queer Eye is giving me ideas/craving for a Queer Eye fusion where Edwin is either the food or the house expert and Charles is the life coach and they fall in love over the seasons

[Image description: Ten close-up photos of little brown mice in or on flowers, most depicting a single mouse on or tucked inside a single blossom bigger than itself. /end description]

niko and charles have a stardew valley world together.

If you are feeling low and need something to lighten your mood, remember there was a time when the Cat King was just a little kitty ❤