This way, that way

Instead of a cutesie reference to film censorship it was an explicit statement of defiance of Maryland's criminalization gay sex, which was not repealed until 2002. This wasn't a guy saying "Oh they can't put what I do in the movies according to a completely voluntary industry code" he was saying "The State of Maryland wants to put me in jail for being gay and having gay sex."

This is bat friendly street lighting, which not only looks sick as fuck but allows bats to pass through without disturbance, as they cannot see red.

Ilya liked them more than most players. He didn’t have a wife to whisk away to some tropical island for the weekend or kids to spend time with. All Stars provided an opportunity to see friends that had cycled through the Bears and get cheered on by sold-out stadiums. 

Also, without fail, Hollander was at every All Star game. The Metros did not even send him as a Metro representative pick anymore because they were confident he would be one of the fan votes. 

This year was shaping up to be a fun All Stars - Ilya was the Bears representative (obviously), with Marley and Connors both being fan votes. Hunter was sent by the Admirals, with Vaughn being another fan pick. Unfortunately, Hollanders ‘mother’, Pike, was sent by the Metros. 

Ilya could never tell if Pike was particularly controlling of Hollander ‘I told Hayden I would be back by 11’ or if Hollander just liked using him as an excuse. Either way, Pike’s presence would limit his Hollander time, which he was not happy about. Plus, the only reason they sent Pike was because he was Hollander’s left wing. 

But, with All Stars came nonsense. 

Like this. 

“Okay,” the woman in front of their ‘meeting room’ pushed her glasses up. “Hollander, Pike, Rozanov, Marleu, Hunter, Vaughn, and Connors, you all will be with our ‘Sports Trade’ Challenge. Rink C, please. Smith, Alkermann, Grant, Johnston, Letterman, and Siegel, you all are with the ‘Are You Smarter than a Timbit’ group. Rink A, please.” 

Ilya covered his mouth to hide his smile. He should not be getting giddy because he was paired with Hollander’s group. He got his eye for just a second and wondered if he was feeling the same. Probably not. He was probably irritated about it. 

Eventually, a man in a USA Skating vest led their group to Rink C, flipping through a clipboard as he explained the Sports Trade. “Alright, boys. You’ll be paired up with Bella Nastrova, Elena French, Victor Nikiforov, and Yuri Katsuki. They should be arriving in a few minutes and getting laced up. We’ve got figure skates in all your sizes - should be lined up by the benches. Let us know if they don’t fit right. Tiff’s on cameras and she’ll let you know what we’re filming. Nothing crazy.” 

~*~*~*~

“Oh my god, there’s two of them,” Hunter groans, wiping a hand down his face. “I can’t deal with two of them.” 

“I know the feeling,” Pike mutters next to him. “This is weird, right?” 

“It’s not weird,” Hollander huffs. Always so huffy. “Skating is big in Russia and Japan.” 

Shane wanted to go back in time and take up tennis. They did not do things like this in tennis. Or maybe golf. 

As soon as Victor Nikiforov stepped into the rink, he zeroed in on Ilya. 

“Привет!” Hi!

“Откуда ты?” Where are you from?

“Санкт-Петербург.” St. Petersburg 

“Москва.” Moscow

“Ах! Городской парень, да?” Ah! A city boy, huh?

“Тебе бы помолчать — Санкт-Петербург — это далеко не маленькая деревня.” You’re one to talk - St. Petersburg is hardly a village. 

And Yuri zeroed in on him. 

“Hi,” Yuri said in English as he gave a little wave as Ilya and Victor spoke in rapid Russian. “I’m not a big hockey fan - not that I don’t like it! It’s great! Just, it's not often there's a Japanese player so… My sister - well, she’s a friend, but basically like a sister, she’s going to be so jealous about this, she’s a huge fan.”

Usually mention of being one of the only Asian players set Shane’s nerves on edge, but not this time. This was the kind of recognition that made it worth it. 

“Thanks,” Shane offered a smile. “I was in development camp with some of the Team USA skaters, so I’ve followed figure skating ever since - do you know Joe? He does singles, I think.” 

“Oh yeah!” Yuri brightened. “He’s awesome!”

Ilya laughed at something Victor said and clapped him hard on the back, making Victor stumble forward a step. 

Yuri rolled his eyes. “Do you speak Japanese?” 

“A little bit, why?” He could get by, but he had been severely neglecting the language since he was a teenager. 

“Because they’re going to be speaking a secret language all weekend and I want to speak one too.” 

“Is not a secret language, Yuri!” Victor called over his shoulder. “Is very easy language if you would actually study.” 

“I try,” Yuri complained. “It's hard.” 

It really is. Shane thought and then - why was Yuri learning Russian?

“Okay everyone!” Tiff called them all over. “We’ve got seven hockey players and four figure skaters, so pair up!” 

Ilya immediately grabbed Victor and Victor did the same. 

Yuri glanced at him a little hesitantly. “Want to pair up?” 

“Yeah,” Shane said gratefully. 

Marleu, Vaughn, and Connors fought over Elena, in the end letting an amused Elena pick. She picked Vaughn and Connors, much to Marleu’s outrage. Bella grabbed up Hunter and Hayden. Marleu begrudgingly joined Ilya and Victor. 

The Sports Trade challenge was - to no one’s surprise - a complete disaster. Shane, happily, was by far the best. Though, that was mostly because Yuri was actually coaching him and not trying to make him look stupid. Victor, to Ilya’s smug pleasure, was the best of the figure skaters. 

“Don’t let him fool you,” Yuri said, scowling as he tried to push a puck into the net. “He played hockey as a kid.” 

“You have to hit the puck, Yuri.” Shane said for the hundredth time. 

“I’m trying!” 

Yuri hit the top of the puck again and Shane almost tackled him. 

“Okay,” Victor said from across the rink. “This is easiest spin to learn. Babies do it.”

“Oh my god,” Yuri looked over and Ilya tried to imitate Victor’s move. “He’s going to kill him.”

Bella seemed to take great amusement watching her group try bunny hops and fall on their asses. 

Elena spent most of the time demonstrating, but she did actually get Connors to do a two foot spin. 

“That’s great, guys,” Tiff said at one point, adjusting her camera. “I think we got it.” 

“Thank god,” Yuri breathed, giving the hockey stick back to Shane. “That was awful.” 

“It was not that bad,” Victor said once he skated over. 

“We are going out tonight, boys!” Marleu declared once the group had all gathered at center ice and then glanced at Elena and Bella. “And girls!” 

Both Shane and Yuri cringed. 

“Eh, sounds fun,” Victor said. “But Yuri and I need to get back to hotel.” 

“You guys are rooming together?” Vaughn asked. 

“I would hope so,” Victor said brightly, raising up his hand so his golden ring sparkled in the light. “Seeing as he’s my husband.” 

Seven pairs of wide eyes swung to Victor. 

Yuri gave him a look that Shane interpreted as why the hell would you say that here? 

Elena rolled her eyes. “You guys didn’t know they are married? Victor never shuts up about it.”

“We have reservations,” Yuri wiped his hands on his pants. 

“Oh! No, that’s cool!” Vaughn tried to break the tension. “Love is love, you know?” 

“Right,” Yuri smiled. 

“Yes,” Victor threw his arm over Yuri’s shoulders. “I won many championships when we both skated singles and Yuri here was my biggest fan.” 

“I was not!” Yuri flushed. 

“And then I watched him skate my routine. Very beautiful, so I offered to be his coach so he could actually win competitions.”

“Victor,” Yuri warned. 

“How do you even go from rivals to coaching?” Connors asked. 

“That was easy. I asked him while I was naked in the bathhouse.” 

Shane choked and Pike patted him on the back. “You okay, Shane?”

“Fine,” Shane said tightly, glaring at Ilya, who was barely holding back a smirk. “Sorry.” 

“Are you still his coach?” Hunter asked, thankfully diverting the attention from a red faced Shane. 

“Ah, no,” Victor said. “We do pair skating now. Being rivals was fun, being a coach was fun, but competing with my husband is best.” 

“It really is,” Yuri softened. 

“That’s great,” Hunter said, his voice a little sad. 

“Yeah, man,” Marleu agreed. “Okay, listen. "Reservations’ tonight, but after the game tomorrow, we go out.” 

Victor said something to Yuri in Russian. Shane watched Ilya’s lips tug up in a suppressed smile. Shane would be getting translations tonight. 

“Sure,” surprisingly, this was a much more comfortable Yuri. “That sounds fun, actually.” 

“We will celebrate Team Russia’s win,” Victor said. 

“You mean Team Japan’s Win,” Yuri glared.

~*~*~*~

“And would you look at that! We’ve got figure skating legends Victor Nikiforov and Yuri Katsuki on the screen!” The announcers boomed over the speakers.

Victor and Yuri were waving from their box seats, turning around to show off the Hollander jersey Yuri wore and the Rozanov jersey Victor wore. 

“Looks like we’ve got some country competition, tonight folks! Who needs the Olympics when you’ve got the All-Stars!”

~*~*~*~ 

“Hey Marley?" Connors asked later that night when they were getting their gear together. 

“What?” 

“You don’t think - I mean, did you notice…?” 

“Connors?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Sorry.” 

Yuna Hollander does not hesitate to scoop that charitable opportunity up.

They get their 12 players, one for each month. Shane gets his birth month, May. The tagline on top of his photo is: "I may be a two-time Stanley Cup winner, but I still get checked regularly for early onset heart disease."

During the following preseason, Ilya walks in on the Bears howling with laughter about something. Never one to be left out, Ilya demands to know what's so funny. He's passed a Heartthrob Against Heart Disease 2018-2019 calendar and joins in on the laughter as he flips through these idiots. That is, until he gets to May.

Shane is on the ice, a hockey stick slotted across his broad shoulders, arms draped over it. He's shirtless, only wearing gloves and his baggy hockey pants, ridden down on one side to show off the top of his underwear and the deep V just above his hips. They must have had him do pushups because his abs are more defined than usual, deep cuts across his stomach shimmering with a thin layer of sweat. His hair was messed up, like someone had run their hands through it. He was looking directly at the camera, a little smirk on his face like he knew exactly what he was doing. His biceps...

The calendar was snatched from him, which was probably a good thing, if the saliva pooling in his mouth and the tightness of his pants were anything to go by.

~*~ 2018 ~*~

Hockey Players Against Heart Disease

2018 Special Edition: Oops, All Hollander!

(All sale proceeds go directly to the Canadian Heart Association, visit canadianheart.com to learn more!)

if you've ever watched a movie with your film buff friend and chatted about it afterwards, that friend might have pulled hours more of conversation out of the same 90 minutes of screentime, and wondered how the fuck they did that - it's not raw intelligence, it's a skill that's been honed. And I learned a lot about film from talking to friends who knew about film, and reading critique by film scholars

literature works exactly the same. so if you want to get more out of your reading, there are things you can do to train that. Find a book or short story you think you've got a pretty good grasp on, preferably from a widely read & respected author like Ursula K Le Guin or Ray Bradbury (if you're new at this don't swing for the Toni Morrison or the Samuel Beckett yet unless you feel very comfortable with the complexity of the text - the point is to develop a complicated new skill on good foundations). Then go to JSTOR, create a free account, and look up criticism on the story you've chosen. Find something that looks readable to you and at least somewhat interesting. Read that article, and look at what that writer got out of the same story you've read that you didn't get. Do you see the critic's points? Did they teach you something about the text? Go reread that story and see if the criticism has changed how you read it. Are you seeing more? Are you thinking about the implications of a line that you hadn't noticed before? Does the story feel richer now?

Then they get serious and Shane thinks it would be fun to let himself into Ilya’s apartment as a surprise for the first time. He’s met with a man in clown makeup and a wig, a big baggy overall with polka dots.

“Who are you?” Shane asks, barely able to contain the shaking heat in his voice. He already knows, it doesn’t matter what the clown says. He knows this clown is what he’s been aching for his entire life.

“Garbles.” The clown says, but he sounds ashamed. “I didn’t know you were coming… I can change.”

Claimed to educate onlookers about Australia's colonial farming history, the horse has been on display in the museum since 1873. The human skeleton was added in 1983 and nobody knows where it came from.

How could we forget the gay shark: