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it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

google used to know what i was talking about

if i do something wrong they kill me

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

i agree with british people when they say fooking ell

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

Dont be very woried about me since i deserve all of this

there is always some fucking laundry and dust and some other shit

Car problems are great bc I can finally get that disgusting $600 that I hated out of my bank account

hello 👋 i am the worlds smallest bug 🐛 and ☝️ i too would like to “fag it up” if i may