small nerd

declaring “this is the bad place” every time you are even slightly inconvenienced is peak humor

It’s what Eleanor Shellstrop would have wanted

A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse than I am currently running it myself.

Bog mummy take the wheel

concept: a game called “john mulaney or cecil palmer?” where you have to guess if a quote was said by popular stand-up comedian john mulaney or fictional radio host cecil gershwin palmer

this might sound easy, but please keep in mind that john mulaney has said “whoa, that tall child looks terrible! get some rest, tall child! you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!” and cecil palmer has said “alligators: can they kill your children? yes.”

John has said “🎶Because we’re Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare! 🎶” and Cecil has said “Delta Airlines, because it’s not like you’re safe anywhere else.”

A concept: John Mulaney is a former radio host from Night Vale

John Mulaney was an intern everyone thought died but instead he just got moved into our dimension

This is funnier the earlier in the year it’s blogged.

So you are saying English curses on the Internet are becoming more like Yiddish curses?

I sincerely hope so but I can’t say I’m familiar with yiddish curses and i am begging you to tell me a few

Who will ride or die with me this hard

I love that even the professor was like, “YES! They did good!”

oh, sure, when SPIDERMAN leaps from rooftop to rooftop, performing death-defying extreme parkour stunts as he swings through the city, he’s “a hero” and “protecting the city”, but when i do it i’m “illegally trespassing on private property” and “a menace to society”, THAT’S how it is, huh,

peter parker said this in civilian clothing

yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post

You missed the best part. They weren’t even their sheep. This good pupper gathered up a bunch of random sheep it found somewhere on the countryside and brought them home for its human.

*whispers* the countryside is full of free sheep