thephoenixisablaze

struck by inspiration for a "sorry kitten, daddy is" shitpost. but sick of the kitten-daddy dynamic

#not now kitten daddy is becoming unfulfilled in this relationship

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

the funnest part of reading books is telling people the plot like its hot gossip

Oh noooooooo! The mystery is solved! You’ve solved my final riddle, you are ze new riddle master... Congratulations… You have proven yourselves... quite the adventurers... oh, I’ve landed on Bryan- Bryan, ahhh… Bryan, I’m so proud of zem… I’m going to die now... My life is flagging from my body... I’ll see my family... goodbye cruel worrrrld-

I literally have no context for this and it’s fucking me up.

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app