Champagne Wine Mom

Stretching isn’t enough I need to be able to disassemble my body like legos

my toxic trait is i expect people to have common sense and i get mad when they don’t.

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

all i want for 2026 is that gigantic rancid AI bubble to finally burst in such a catastrophic way that the consequences will be so good and i'll never have to see another AI generated image ever again

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

moment of unspeakable beauty today when one of my coworkers called another coworker "judas" for not splitting a can of white monster with her, and i got to watch the guy who sits next to me open a new google tab, type in "jeudis," and say quietly to himself "french thursday...?"

You should be able to rot in bed for 2, maybe 3 hours after waking up before it starts affecting what time it is. If I wake up at 8:30 and lie in bed for 2hr it should still be 8:30 when I get up

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

OK OK. UH UHHHH..... KILL?

free museum trips are wasted on unappreciative middle schoolers. let me go

why is it called a "stick" of butter. that is blatantly a The Ingot

THE BUTTER INGOT