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@theheiroflife

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kinda insane how the white house can straight up say "the biggest threat to America right now are people who are against fascism" and no one recognizes that statement as the declaration of fascism that it is
A Beautiful Lady having a Light Snack
huh. this is. not the post i meant to put this picture under.
sorry about that.
i just kinda accepted it, that's honestly how it feels
My favourite part of Bismuth's first episode is when Amethyst and Steven aren't sure how to feel about her and she does the "mean Bismuth" pun a second time and Amethyst is like "I don't know, the same joke twice?" and Steven, wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt and secure in his understanding of the rules of humour, is like "well it'll be really funny if she does it a third time" and then later she does it a third time and uh
Well you were fuckin wrong there, weren't you Steven. It wasn't really funny the third time.
Best part of the episode I love meta jokes.

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me frm 2016 lookin @ me frm 2022
wh…what?
BRO??????????????
u seein this shit, bedroom demon?
all time tumblr moment for me was when Overwatch was relevant and i made a post like “idc about team balance i opened the Junkrat game to play Junkrat” and someone was very seriously like “it’s people like you who got Trump elected”.
$1,000,000 deposited into your bank account every day for the rest of your life or sex with Jafar?
does jafar love me
hell no bitch
I couldn’t care less about sex, but I don’t fully trust myself with that kind of monetary setup either.
so basically you’re forced to fuck Jafar for your own good
Shoutouts to the time I had a severe fever and took benedryl and wanted to listen to feel good inc but couldn’t remember the name. I think I was crying over this

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queer people on this site really make me feel like a confused straight guy at pride. the discourse here could kill a man
"why polyamorous people aren't valid" "mspec lesbians AREN'T okay actually" "aroallos are freaks" "he/him dni. cis men dni" "this post is for non-men only" yessss and the one with long hair goes in the girl box, then the one with short hair goes in the boy box!!
maybe I'm just a boring he/him white guy but inventing about 7 trillion terms to define "man" and "woman" so you can reinforce gender essentialism isn't very "love is love" of you. maybe i just don't have a sexuality but picking and choosing what sexualities are normal and which ones are "weird and predatory" sounds like we're all a bunch of republicans on fox news. if you attend your local pride parade and look REAAALLLYYY closely, you'll notice you can't actually tell if someone's gay or not from their appearance, and there's no way to know if they're "invading queer spaces". maybe it's just me, but when i attended my local gaybar last night for the drag show, they didn't ask for my gay-card with a peer reviewed diagnosis of faggot stamped on it. they just let me in the building. i live a life of bliss and luxury in not caring about any queer discourse ever, and just going "WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY :-)" while booting up the latest cod game. and it seems much more fun than whatever the fuck you people are on about
muting my notifs for this post but i need to acknowledge this first. My favorite tags fr 🙏
Holy shit, oh my god! 50 of them??
Me when I'm a sexy gay wizard that suddenly realizes they are being followed by 50 rats
OMG LMAO I WOULD NEVER RUN FROM YOU, 50 RATS, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE BEHIND ME
You know what you are so right... We have a bond, these 50 rats and I....
OH SHIT OH NO
WAIT
I CAN'T FEED THIS MANY RATS
Oh wait I'm a fuckin wizard lol
Yay :) Enough treats for everyone :)
Happy rat day to my most popular post ever
i hate it when game devs put “fixed several issues” in patch notes
no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.
you know those patch notes that are like “fixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, they’d become the size of a skyscraper”
i wanna read those. tell me those.
Adjusted value of Bees. Now that was a special one… because every item in the game had a minimum value, and a beehive was a container for bees, which each had a minimum value… which meant the moment one of your dwarves picked up a beehive, your entire fortress’ net worth skyrocketed… a value used in determining how powerful the foes that visit and try to murder you are.
Reblogging for the explanation of what “adjusted value of bees” actually means, because I know several folks following this blog have been wondering.
Okay but you’ve all forgotten the best Dwarf Fortress bug of all “Flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy”
Actually I lied it’s the one where after a major update werewolves and vampires started climbing the nearest tree and refusing to come down. It turned out that he’d given evil creatures the ability to sense each other, but forgotten to set a maximum range on it, so werewolves were aware Hell was underground and trying to flee by climbing
This has to be my favorite patch note ever
tip: if you wake up on time and then lie in bed unmoving for 20 minutes you will no longer be on time
It does undercut your queer politic credentials somewhat when your posting hinges on an incorrect folk etymology from Star Wars.
its real im going to vomit
https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Gender

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every fucking time I see this I miss the "7 month old" part, then when I see the image I fucking lose it. god fucking dammit
Alex Jones is livestreaming rn and for the first and only time in my life it's appointment viewing. He got evicted from his studio mid-stream and they had to cover for him when he popped up in his "satellite studio" (a room in his house I assume) devoid of the Infowars branding. He's talking about how "tens of millions" of people have watched his final broadcast & you can literally see he has far less than a million viewers in the bottom corner (and this is on Twitter, which inflates views of videos ever since Elon had to convince people anyway gives a shit about Tucker Carlson's livestreams). He's currently whining that they chose not to sell his site back to him at auction, so he could keep doing the crimes that are why he was selling his website.
I didn't see this personally but he's apparently read out the Onion's announcement, which is a fake article by a fake corporation, out loud several times as if it was real. Anyway it should be noted how screwed he is, bc...
...while he can livestream under his own name, they own his warehouses of dubious supplements. He has nothing to sell but t-shirts protesting that his show is going down. Since Infowars was, first and foremost, a lifestyle brand, this leaves him, scientifically speaking, "totally fucked". He doesn't have ads, that's the only way he makes money
He just promised that he will "win the information war" which. You were sued into oblivion for lying about the parents of murdered children & lost your platform so hard you don't even have a studio anymore & your brand was seized by a rival to make fun of you. I didn't think the Infowar was a real thing you could lose, but I'm not sure there's a more definitive way to lose the information war. Anyway he's now ranting about fluoride
The ruling dashed, at least for now, the plans of The Onion’s parent company to take over Infowars and radically shift its content.
A judge blocked their acquisition of Infowars, bc even though their offer was higher, a group affiliated with Jones offered more cash, while The Onion's bid was cash plus part of the Sandy Hook family's judgment. It is unclear what happens now but Alex Jones is back on Infowars
With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timh
Reblogs back open The Onion has taken over InfoWars again
Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors. It was always the same dream: I could hear my family and neighbo
Love Wins
FINALLY