Lain. 30s. She/her. Please do not expect any kind of theme or consistency from my blog because you will be disappointed. I follow the whims of my hyperfixations. Come be my friend!!
Ao3
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Was tagged recently by @beanarie and @wee-fuckin-woo, tagging both of them back as well as @queermccoy @corporatebanana @trombonechurchill @dharmaavocado @devirnis @frogsinflannel @sad-girl-hours23 and anyone else who sees this and has something to share!!
some superman au, naturally, and todays alliterative title provided by kathy and alec thank you to them <3
"Wait, were you supposed to tell me?"
Tommy tips his head in Buck's direction. "Bobby said I could tell you," he says with a shrugs. Despite the conversation they're having, Buck's heart warms, knowing that Bobby knew Tommy would want to tell Buck about this. That Buck would want to know. It feels a little like approval, if he allows himself to imagine that's something Bobby would give a person he's dating.
For the first time since Buck showed up on his doorstep Sunday morning, Tommy finally looks as if a weight has fallen off his shoulders, like he's finally able to take a full breath of air again. It makes Buck's chest ache to see it, both because he is so happy to see relief stretch across Tommy's face and fear that the right question from him would prompt Buck to blurt out what he's been hiding from him.
If he wasn't absolutely sure in his decision before, Buck is doubly sure now. As understanding as Tommy may be, there's no reason to hurt him unnecessarily, especially not about something that was such a fluke. After all, its not like Superman is going to hunt him down asking for a repeat.
Tommy has just saved a young boys life, has saved his father's life, too, for as long as he has left to live it. To bring this up now would be unnecessary and cruel. Buck mentally pats himself on the back for his decision, for being mature enough to know that he can take care of Tommy in this way.
Buck wraps his arm around Tommy's shoulders and pulls him close. "I'm so proud of you," he says.
"Because I wrote a flowery article and saved a kids life?" Tommy asks, a little bitchy.
"No," Buck says, shaking his head. "Because you care." Tommy turns to look at him fully now, eyes still a little wet, or maybe wet again. "You care so much, Tommy. And the people of Metropolis are lucky to have you on their side."
The tears are coming in earnest now, and Tommy takes a shaky breath, blinking quickly. "Thank you, Evan."
Leaning forward, Buck presses a lingering kiss to Tommy's forehead, before pulling him down onto his shoulder. They sit like that for awhile, no sounds except for the fountain behind them and the muted sounds of traffic from beyond the building, breathing in sync.
Eventually, they will be reintroduced back into the real world, walking back into the bullpen bustling with discovery. But for now, at least, they can pretend that nothing is happening outside of the little bubble they share together.
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Hi hello good afternoon we've all seen this post right?? Where I try to spread my agenda of drag queen Tommy Kinard aka Cock Pitt? Well, what if I told you I was gripped by a vision of a possible first meeting and proceeded to type out 1.6k on my phone that would be pretty crazy, huh? ha. haha.
Huge thanks to @corporatebanana and @queermccoy who I talked with the concept about last night and especially alec who I believe is the one who came up with the title I am using for this. Hope you all enjoy!!
Buck spends the first two weeks of Pride Month popping up at the Wilson's house at various times when they aren't working. He's been in LA for years now, but for some reason this June feels different to him, prompting him to come to his friends with all sorts of questions about what its like being queer and various aspects of queer history. Hen gives him a reading list, after the first visit, and even loans him some of her own books, so most of his visits after that end up as a sort of book club between the three of them.
Sometimes they'll video call with Michael, too, and Buck can't help but notice the knowing looks the three of them exchange. He tries to rope Josh into his discussion, but Josh is less interested in discussing queer life than he is living it.
"You need to go to a gay club," Josh tells him in the dispatch break room where Buck had conveniently stopped by to bring Maddie some coffee while Josh was on his break. "Find a guy whose look you like and just…make out with him. Trust me, there is no better way to find out where you might fall on the spectrum than that."
After copious amounts of research and reading way too many Reddit threads, Buck picks a gay club, gets dressed up, and heads out for the evening on his next 72 off. The whole ride there he worries that it's going to take him all night to find someone he wants to try to kiss, someone who will also want to kiss him back, but as soon as he walks in the door those worries fade away.
In no time at all, Buck is pressed against a beautiful man, just as tall and broad as he is, shirt unbuttoned to show of his hairy chest. It's not something Buck has ever consciously considered could be attractive before, but now—running his hands over a firm, sweaty chest—he thinks he sees the appeal.
They make out right there on the dance floor, and Buck feels like he's flying. He declines the strangers offer to leave the club together, and it isn't until he gets into his Uber home that he realizes he didn't have one drink the entire night.
When he wakes up the next morning his lips are still tingling, and he doesn't bother to do anything more than brush his teeth before he speeds over to the Wilson's.
"I think I'm bisexual," Buck blurts out to Karen as soon as she opens the front door.
"And good morning to you, too, Buck," she says. She's smiling as she says it though, and gives him a big, warm hug before ushering him inside.
Hen and Karen throw him a mini coming out party, and call Michael to share the news with him. Apparently they've had a bottle of champagne chilling in their wine cooler for ages, wanting to be prepared to celebrate whenever he was ready to share his news.
When Buck reveals he would love to go see drag in person sometime, as a way to learn more about different parts of the queer community, Hen's eyes light up.
"I know an incredible drag queen," she says, hand on the table and leaning towards him. "She normally does drag brunch because she doesn't like the late hours of the other shows, but I can definitely get us a table at her next performance."
They figure out the next time they all have a Saturday off and Hen gets a table for the three of them to go. Buck feels nervous leading up to it, worried he's going to be found out for not being "queer enough" for drag brunch. Like the queens are all going to take one look and see right through him.
Just like with the gay club, his fears don't last long. The queen at the door is immediately delighted with him, brazenly flirting with him in a way that makes him giggle and blush. She leads the three of them to their seats, joking with Hen and Karen like she's met them before, and Buck peruses the list of performers.
"Is this a first responder themed drag brunch?" He asks Hen and Karen.
Hen laughs. "Buck, all of these queens work or have worked for the LAFD in some capacity. They get together every Pride to perform some shows to raise money for charity and retired queer firefighters."
"Wow," Buck says. The drag queen from the door being named Smokey Jumper makes more sense now. He turns around in his chair to look at her again, tries to imagine her without the heels and the hair and the…chest. Can easily picture her jumping from a helicopter to help put out forest fires. "That's so cool!"
Every part of the show is amazing, but almost all of the queens make a reference to the final act at some point during their performance, and by the time things are wrapping up—and Buck is about six mimosas deep—he's nearly bouncing in his chair with excitement. Hen and Karen haven't mentioned which queen is the one they know, but they've been saving a stack of ones for the last performer so Buck has a pretty good idea she's the one.
Sure enough, when the closing act swoops out on stage, Hen and Karen's cheers are loud enough to drown out everyone else in the crowd. The queen blows them a kiss and gives them a little wave before starting her performance.
Her name is Cock Pitt, a fact she reveals proudly while delicately lifting up her arms behind her head, showing off her hairy armpits. The move makes the crowd roar, and several of the other queens—who are now watching the other performances—fan themselves dramatically. Cock Pitt somehow finds a way to work the low battery beep of a smoke detector seamlessly into her performance, and gives an impressive demonstration on stop, drop, and roll that involves more splits than Buck remembers.
Buck had blown through all of his bills early on, but Hen and Karen graciously loan him some of theirs to throw her way. Their table is situated right at the end of the run way, and when Cock Pitt shimmies over their direction, grabbing onto the back of Buck's chair and bending low, shaking her generous cleavage in Buck's face, he boldly stuffs a few bills down the front her dress. He gets an up close look at her pits, too, which are just as hairy as the man he made out with at the club.
Cock Pitt winks at him before standing back up, spinning around and strutting back down the runway. She is by far the best performance of the morning, in Buck's humble opinion, and when Hen and Karen ask if he wants to meet her Buck jumps at the chance. They lead him back to the green room, where most of the queens are milling about, talking with each other or friends of theirs who were in the audience. The three of them work their way through the room until they make their way to a makeup table all the way in the back.
"Cock!" Buck exclaims when he sees her sitting in her chair. Cock Pitt somehow manages to raise her eyebrows at him, even though Buck knows they're fake, and he blushes. "I mean, Miss Coc—um, Miss Pitt, it's an honor to meet you." He holds his hand out for her to shake, which she regards with some incredulousness before holding out hers limply in response. Buck is so busy staring into her eyes it takes a moment for him to grab the proffered hand and raise it to his lips for a kiss.
"I'm charmed," she says, and her voice sends a shiver down his spine. "Did you enjoy the performance?"
Buck nods his head eagerly. He's still holding onto her hand and only after Cock Pitt glances down at where their hands are clasped does he finally drop it. "You were the best performance of the whole morning. I've never seen anything like it," he gushes. "I mean, you are incredible!"
"Thank you, sugar," says Cock Pitt. She lets her eyes trail up and down his body. "You're wearing a bit more clothes than the last time I saw you."
Buck startles at her words, trying to figure out when else he would have met her, and while wearing less clothes, too. It isn't until he catches a familiar twinkle in her blue eyes, a slight twist of her mouth, that the pieces click together and his jaw drops.
"That was you? At the club, I was dancing with you?" Behind him, Hen and Karen have slowly migrated away from Cock Pitt's table to talk with some of the other queens, but Buck doesn't even notice. He scans over Cock Pitt, searching for the broad, hairy man who had changed his whole world. He can't quite find him, but he discovers he likes this view just as much.
"Can…can I see you again?" he asks, biting his lip.
"Which one of us?" she asks, giving him an appraising look.
"Yes," Buck says. "Uh, I mean both! Definitely both of you." He's nodding his head again, probably looks like a bobble head on the dash of a cross country trucker, but he can't help it. He steps a little closer, tilting his head and fluttering his lashes in a way that always drives women crazy. Cock Pitt, it seems, is no exception.
"Tell Hen to give you my number," she says with a smirk. "And if you're lucky, I might text you back." With that, she turns around towards her mirror again and starts pulling bobby pins out of her hair.
"Thank you," Buck says eagerly, giving her one last look before spinning around to find Hen. He has a feeling he's about to get very, very lucky.
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as a kid i always thought gotham was in michigan because i thought it was a midwestern city like chicago, and there was always shit going down at the pier or in abandoned factories and if michigan has anything it’s a lot of piers and abandoned factories. anyway turns out it’s probably in jersey.
one of the most heavily forested states in the country with 20 million acres of forests oh my god poison ivy would be so powerful the second she got outside city limits fuck
there’s 20 million acres of this and she’s got plant powers no wonder they want her on lockdown
there are more than 6,000 shipwrecks in the great lakes how many supervillain origin stories is that good for
there’s a whole class of freighter just for the great lakes
“63 commercial ports handled 173 million tons of cargo in 2006″ aka holy shit that is a lot of opportunities for boatcrimes
mr freeze has a pretty tragic origin story but if you had to put up with michigan winters and then some motherfucker showed up freezing the town outside of freezing season you would have no mercy
MOTHERFUCKER I JUST PUT MY SNOWBLOWER IN STORAGE DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW
imagine batman giving someone directions by pointing to his hand
“we believe killer croc is somewhere around here” he says pointing to the tip of his thumb
good fucking luck finding stats on abandoned buildings in michigan but holy shit are there a lot of them, no wonder they’re always having fights in abandoned factories and empty warehouses
“kitty why are you including that map of the railroads like it’s relevant” because when you’re trying to sleep and you hear a train in the distance it’s fucking spooky okay
i have no evidence that traincrime is an issue for batman i’m just saying the ambiance is there
michigan has plenty of abandoned theme parks for the joker to hijack
our most famous abandoned theme park is dinosaur themed so I GUESS WE KNOW WHERE HE GOT THE T-REX
we have a special kind of ice cream called superman ice cream and i think bruce would be really bitter about it and that’s hilarious
there are nine different species of bat in michigan and they have all lived in my kitchen at some point
michigan is full of mines both abandoned and active and bats love them
put an abandoned train station next to and abandoned mine and you have a totally plausible CRIMEZONE
and none of this is getting into the most compelling evidence
put a city in michigan and watch how fast no one gives a fuck
gotham, MI needs batman because who the fuck else is going to help
batman please save us from the cops and the state government
that’s what i thought but apparently metropolis is new york during the day and gotham is new york at night which means the dc universe has three new yorks which i think even new yorkers can agree is too many
here are some more michigan batman facts:
we already have evil clowns
when i was a kid i used to slide down the slopes made by snowplows on my stomach which i feel is relevant to the penguin
there’s always a ton of cars from the 30s driving around gotham which makes perfect sense if it’s in michigan because that’s when we made cars and we’re not over it
rick snyder and his emergency managers are basically supervillains and i want batman to punch them
michigan is closer to kansas which means bruce can visit clark’s parents and then they’re emailing clark about what a nice young man he is and there’s nothing clark can do about it
batman vs superman: the deep dish debate
“who would name a city bludhaven” well we’ve already got bad axe and colon and gaylord and climax and grim and hell and frankenlust and gore and that’s just the first half of the alphabet
if someone said that a city in michigan had been hijacked by an evil clown that was only stopped when a man in an animal costume kicked him in the face would you even blink
this is meadow brook hall in rochester mi
this is the charles t fisher house
here’s the james scott residence
welcome to michigan hope u like houses with turrets and fucked up clowns and evil men poisoning the water
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