the patron saint of lost causes @hidefdoritos - Tumblr Blog

actually so fuckin funny that the belief that nobody deserves to be harassed is actually controversial now. and when i say funny, i mean intensely depressing and soul crushing

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omtai

Does anyone care if the boulder is happy does anyone imagine the boulder to be happy? Or is everything about that other guy

thatdiabolicalfeminist

Reminder that "transwoman" without the space is a transmisogynistic dogwhistle as it's used almost exclusively by hate groups like the "gender critical" movement.

The implication of removing the space is that being trans isn't just one way a woman can be, like being tall or being brunette, but that women who are trans require a whole other noun.

Trans women, tall women, brunette women. Leave the space in; trans is an adjective and trans women are women.

faux-friend

When a black person states that something you did was racist, chill the fuck out. Its annoying dealing with you panicking trying to dissociate yourself from racism. If you're not black, black people already assume youve said nigga or its variant at least once in your life. If they're interacting with you and bringing something up, its because they want you to stop doing that so they can still interact with you(if ur already friends)

You WILL be racist. You WILL do racist things. You have ALREADY done both. Learn and move on. There's no ideological purity you can hold on to, i promise. Proving you can take the criticism without making it a big deal and practice what you preach is better than any clean slate.

Be the kind of person black people don't have to gamble on. Shut up and lock in

unhelpfultarot

Queen of Cups and The Tower

Your most concentrated and intense worry isn't enough to either cause or prevent the disaster.

#good morning tumblr #just beating me over the head with unsubtle metaphors now are we??#the ocd has been having a field day with making me intensely worry #both about preventing problems and about causing them #good gravy

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hidefdoritos

I WANT TO BE WANTED!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#heavy heavy venting in the tags here #madi this is not for you #alice this is not for you #this is for me <3 #.#continued #I feel so guilty for wanting to have more sex.#I can take a no with *zero* issues #but I'm struggling to take a maybe that turns into a no #I'm so stupidly fucking hopeful #when I was a kid and mad at myself for this type of desperation I called myself 'the eternal optimist' in a jaded #degrading sort of way #and despite all the changes I've still got that stupid fucking optimism spark #having sex is not the point of this trip. seeing friends is the entire point. I'm so happy to facilitate this couple seeing each other.#I just also really want to have sex because I want to feel wanted and taken care of.#and they've showed me in a thousand wonderful considerate ways that they want me and care for me #just not in the sex way. not today anyway.#wasted the day hoping for something more to happen despite knowing schedule was full and it was very unlikely #hi Asa if you're reading this. I wish I still was the stable person you met at lunch.#and I Don't Know if sex will happen tomorrow or not #it depends on so many factors!!!!!!#but there isn't a Plan #and I'm regressing hard on that OCD compulsion to have a plan instead of going with the flow.#oh also I feel dangerous to society for expecting to have sex with people/being disappointed it didn't happen #I'm disappointed in advance if it doesn't happen y'know? and I shouldn't be disappointed

hidefdoritos

I WANT TO BE WANTED!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#heavy heavy venting in the tags here #madi this is not for you #alice this is not for you #this is for me <3 #.#went to the shower had a crying breakdown and got kissed sweetly when I came back #i mostly felt better but then they said more things that made me worry more #I'm doing a bad job at masking folks #they noticed how 'this has been hard for me'#wtf no!!!!!!#the everything else has been hard for me!!!!!!!#this is lovely and I'm having a good time! i wanna be here!#I'm sorry you're getting the frazzled ends of me #no I don't want to leave early tomorrow I want to fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i spent twelve hours in a car on purpose and I'm gonna spend a lot more!!#i like you two a lot and I'm trying to make plans!!#unfortunately your plans are based on vibes whereas I'm a fucking sheepdog #I struggle hard with being in waiting mode #and tomorrow has No Plans so it will be All Waiting #waiting for people to feel hungry enough or get horny enough (pleasepleaseplease) to do something #i feel like shit #especially because I'm the horny one for sure #I have the hypersexual sex drive #I'm so tired of initiating #I WANNA BE WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I'm struggling hard with the plan compulsion #I want to have a checklist of sex acts and fantasies and then work through the list #I am a *machine*#and it's so hard to work with people whose established dynamic and style are so different from mine.#and the worst part is I feel SO GUILTY for wanting all this sex

#heavy heavy venting in the tags here #madi this is not for you #alice this is not for you #this is for me <3 #.#so #a shocking lack of sex is happening at Sex Weekend #which is unfair and inaccurate to say I'm well aware #tw ocd #I'm here with my fwb and their primary for our second meetup #and for context we're all going thru shit #it's just #the lack of a plan #how badly mental stuff is fucking with us all #and I'm dealing with a massive OCD spiral because I am super fucking disappointed #i was really really hoping this would fix me #I've been so fragile and felt so neglected. for months now.#and now I'm in a hotel with two people who have three years' confidence and comfort being together #and I have none of that stability #none of that certaintu #no being pulled close for kisses no inside jokes no snuggles before bedtime no outfit compliments no love!!!!!!!!!!!#i have had to ask for every scrap of affection I've received #and i KNOWWWWW it's freely given and it's not intentional!!!!!#I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!#I'm just taking the emotional fallout cause what the fuck else can I do #i can HEAR them kissing

how to survive without plan

how to believe that lack of plan won't kill me

how to go with the flow

how to stop making rigid brain plans

how to be cool and normal

how to not be disappointed if plan changes

how to cope with plan changes

how to be normal

#post brought to you by:#moss #who's spending the weekend with an established couple #and whose plans are going wildly off plan

life-on-our-planet

eepy mourning dove cupping its wings under its belly for cushion ©Ella

#mourning dove #moss attempts to self regulate

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despazito

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

puppygirllaika

yes!!! thank you!!! I hate when people do this, it's one of my uh... one of my... oh no...

fakesleepwalking

phone in bed can range from comforting to mundane but phone in parked car will have you feeling like you've never done anything right in your entire life

plasmalink

I theorize the reason "bottoms" appear more prevalent than "tops" on these types of spaces is that it is simply easier to be funny about being a bottom than about being a top without sounding like a sex offender

"uuuuu 🥺 pls cock me aaaaaaaa *runs into wall like Wile E Coyote running into his own tunnel painting*" easy as shit comedy

"I want to put my DICK in someone" whoa dude calm down, take it easy

beyond-a-name

No that's literally it. Kink is stigmatized in such a specific way that it's actually much more acceptable to say "I want to be stepped on" than it is "I want to step on them" or even "I want them to ask me to step on them."

Like it's much easier to find people talking openly about wanting to be submissive (which will be errantly called "bottoming" because being a sub is Ew Gross Kink) but once there's someone to available to actually facilitate that, it's Creepy.

spindlephysalia

it's coy and demure to be wanted, but it's violative to Want and that's normal and good and hasn't annihlated the ability of so many people to even communicate the fact that they can desire. God help you if you're queer or neurodivergent in that cultural attitutde.

derinthescarletpescatarian

There's also this idea that while of course kink is Wrong and Icky and means you're Damaged, submissive urges must mean that they're some poor abuse victim trying to recover from trauma and dominant urges mean that they're an abuser looking for an excuse. (Some people do use kink to process trauma, but people use all kinds of behaviours to process all kinds of things. That shouldn't be like, the assumption, and shouldn't be expected to carry moral weight.) It's not acceptable to express dominant desires because the only acceptable form of that kink is as a slightly reluctant therapist for helping your beloved process their trauma.

There's a Childish Gambino routine I can't seem to locate where he says something along the lines of "if you meet a woman who likes being choked during sex, well sure, she's been abused. But if you meet a man who likes choking women?!?!" And that basically sums up the public perception I think. Subs or bottoms (the public perception treats them both as the same thing, or at least acts like they're coincident enough that any other match is some weird edge case) are women or small gay men who have been kicked around and are trying to heal, doms or tops are predatory men looking for an excuse to hurt someone.

lakemojave

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

lakemojave

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

bumblebeebats

The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

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jamsandsuch

took my engineer brother around the engineering building on campus today. every time we came across an empty lecture hall he’d write a ridiculously difficult formula on the board and add ‘warm up. hint: use lecture notes from last class” and giggle and run off

hidefdoritos

BTW today I met a person who's at least 50, uses they/it pronouns, and named themself Wyvern. It looks like if Santa was a biker and it plays D&D at the local library. Just a reminder that you can do whatever you want, forever.

hidefdoritos

#hey this post makes me excited to grow old. very difficult in these trying times. (via @lyracreek)

#hey this post makes me excited to grow old. very difficult in these trying times

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the patron saint of lost causes