jess | 29 | she/her | lesbian | married to @lesbianhollander
18+ / minors dni
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art blog(derogatory)

tannertan36

Janaina Medeiros

#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Three Goblin Art

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Xuebing Du
noise dept.

shark vs the universe
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
occasionally subtle
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@rozanovshane
jess | 29 | she/her | lesbian | married to @lesbianhollander
18+ / minors dni
my icons | my headers | my edits
banners by @ilyasmole and @jacki-daytona

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shane and ilya are hanging out at the pike's house when that interview with dj khaled talking about not going down on women comes out. it comes up as a suggested article on ilya's phone [he's a huge gossip in my sandbox] and he reads it out loud, scoffing as he does.
"imagine not wanting to eat your own wife out. how very sad. too bad i am a happily taken man now, i would have helped her back then."
shane rolls his eyes and elbows him. "oh my god ilya, shut up." but there's a smile on his face as he says it. they look at each other and laugh before kissing quick and sweet.
ilya looks over at the pikes and notices jackie giving hayden a look, while he has crossed his arms and is staring at the ground. it clicks for ilya immediately.
"pike, please do not tell me that you are also this neglectful to your missus?? she gives you four babies and you cannot eat her pussy?!? jackie, rybka, i am so sorry about this. i know many men who will do this for you, and are also much better hockey players."
"you better shut the fuck up rozanov!!! and besides, you're a piece of shit for talking about eating pussy when you're with a MAN who is sitting right next to you!!!"
ilya shrugs. "what, you think he does not know that i was with women before we got together?"
hayden huffs and glares at him like he's trying to kill him with his eyes.
"and besides," ilya begins, a wide smirk spreading across his face.
"ilya..." shane softly warns.
he pretends he didn't hear anything as he leans forward in his seat. "i happily eat shanya's pussy too. any chance i get. i thank him for giving me the privilege. is an honor."
"ilya!" shane shrieks, his face turning beet red as he covers it with his hands.
jackie bursts out laughing, and hayden genuinely looks like he might throw up.
ilya just grins like the smug little fucker that he is
shane to harris wait you also enjoy getting violently fucked into the mattress by your big strong hockey boyfriend? and while they have nothing else in common they would connect deeply over this I think
insp. by @butimaficwriter and their very good tags
harris, stone cold sober: like it's not like i suddenly forget i have a heart condition. i know my body. i know what it can handle. and i know what i want.
shane, slightly tipsy: and you wanna get railed
harris: AND I WANNA GET RAILED IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK
shane: can i tell you something. you cannot tell anyone
harris: no promises
shane: eh fuck what does it matter anymore. remember that halloween party ilya threw when he wore that gladiator costume?
harris: yeah he looked so hot in that instagram picture
shane: i needed him so bad that i drove to ottawa that night even though i had a morning skate the next day
harris: holy shit. i get it. respect
shane: with a plug in
harris:
shane:
harris: so that's why ilya married you
Shane riding Ilya and Ilya getting lost in the rhythm until he subconsciously notices the pattern.
10-pause-10-pause-10-long pause, lean down to kiss-10-pause-10-pause-10.
“Are you…” Ilya said incredulously. “Are doing reps right now?!”
The whole Fat Baby Shane thing made me convinced Shane and Ilya have the biggest fattest babies ever. I don't care if they adopt or have a surrogate or Shane gets pregnant I just know their kids end up being monster babies and it would be insane except theyre both big beefy hockey players so the babies look almost normal when theyre held by them. The internet has a field day comparing pictures of Ilya holding them(in which they look like slightly bigger than normal babies) and Yuna holding them(in which the babies look like an area 51 project). Shane and Ilya still think theyre so little and honestly not heavy at all(see: big beefy hockey players) so theyre completely confused when anyone mentions that theyre gigantic. When Ilya does recognize that theyre like 95th percentile babies he is very proud

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Ilya gains a little weight while they’re apart and he feels self conscious about it because Shane is so healthy, and for the first time in years he feels a little nervous taking his shirt off in front of him when they finally see each other again
Shane doesn’t say anything and Ilya looks up at him expecting to see judgement or disappointment or get an “I told you so” about his eating habits. Instead he sees Shane frozen halfway taking his shirt off, pupils dilated wide like a cat that just got a face full of catnip, actively reaching a 4th dimension of horniness heretofore unknown to science
At some point early in the post-cottage days Shane lets himself into the Boston McMansion and creeps into the bedroom and finds Ilya face-down dead asleep with his back bare and his shoulders scrunched and maybe even his ass out. Who knows. And Shane crawls onto the bed, nothing on but socks, and lays himself down completely on top of Ilya's back, smooths his hands down along Ilya's arms until he finds his hands, twines their fingers together, rests his cheek between Ilya's shoulder blades and waits for Ilya to wake up, which only takes him a minute because there's a 200 pound hockey player using him as a mattress.
"Hey," Shane says in that half-nervous way of his, like he's not certain of his welcome even now, and then when Ilya squeezes his hands and mumbles, Shane says, "Hi, handsome," and presses his forehead against Ilya's temple and kisses his jaw and the world is so fucking quiet and still.
So they lay there like that, because Ilya is still drifting, post-dream, and he's rubbing his thumbs over Shane's palms and breathing deep, and Shane's clung onto him like a backpack and then, slowly, starts to shift his hips. Gentle, slow, almost like he doesn't realize he's doing it. When Ilya looks at him, the side of his face pressed into the back of Ilya's shoulder, he's got his eyes squeezed closed, he's blushing just so prettily. Ilya folds their arms together under his head, kisses Shane's hands, enjoys the cocoon of his biceps and the smell of man.
"Needy boy?" Ilya murmurs, first thing he's said so far, maybe first thing he's said all day because Shane got here so so early so that they could have this time together before tonight's game--came directly from the airport, probably has been thinking about this for at least the last handful of hours, probably got himself all worked up on the way here. Sweatshirt loose around his hips, dick tucked up into his waistband, ballcap low over the eyes so as not to be recognized. Soft and needy and just waiting, waiting.
"I just--" Shane sighs, forehead sliding down to find the dip between Ilya's shoulders again. His hips move a little more, still slow and steady but definitely there now. Not trying to hide it anymore, like he ever thought Ilya wouldn't notice. Trying to be a naughty boy when Ilya knows he's good, so good, so sweet. He would stop if he was told. He murmurs, "Ilya. Can I?"
"You want it like that?" Ilya says, because this is unusual for Shane--he loves to be underneath, loves to be pressed down, loves to be rocked by the entire weight of Ilya's body over him. Cries about it, sometimes, how much be fucking loves it.
"Yeah," Shane breathes, trembling. "Won't--won't take much, just--feels good--"
"Mm, easy," Ilya accuses, and kisses his hand again. Big, pretty long fingers. Ilya kisses each one. "So easy, Hollander. Couldn't wait, ah?"
"Ilya," Shane pants. He whines, and the small of Ilya's back is slippery with sweat, with wet, and Ilya's dick is burrowing a hole into the mattress.
"Naughty," Ilya tells him, because maybe it's what he wants to hear. "Sneaking in here. Trying to take without permission. What do you say?"
"Sorry," Shane murmurs--whimpers, really, somewhere in the depths of Ilya's back muscles.
"You'll be a good boy later, won't you?" Ilya says. "So good for me. Lay on your back for me, how I like. Let me look at your pretty face."
"Yes," Shane hisses. "Yes, Ilya, I'll be good." Hips stuttering now, close.
"Poor slutty bunny," Ilya sighs. "Needs it so bad. Go ahead."
So Shane shivers, swears as he comes, but softly--because he's trying not to be naughty, his very good boy. Comes when he's told, moans when he's allowed.
"Clean it up," Ilya says, immediately afterwards, with an air of benevolence; here you go, here's your reward.
Shane does as he's told, licking and sucking along Ilya's back, making everything that much more wet. When Ilya's tired of it, he turns over, flips Shane back towards the foot of the bed, catches him before he cracks his pretty little head on the footboard. His head ends up hanging half-off the edge of the bed, and Ilya plants a foot on the floor, a knee on Shane's chest, and takes his cock in hand.
"Close your slutty mouth," Ilya says, when Shane sticks his tongue out, and the speed with which he sucks it back in makes an almost comical sound. Ilya had called him froggy once, one of those quiescent cottage days. The face he'd made had prompted Ilya to say Yes, just like that and then laugh himself into a cramp.
"Be good," Ilya reminds him, as Shane watches with saucer eyes, eager as Ilya's stomach muscles visibly shudder. Shane nods mindlessly, but doesn't pick up on the implication, because Ilya has to say, "Fuck, Shane, close your eyes."
Shane remembers himself, remembers how to be good, exactly as Ilya begins to come. His cum lands pretty across the freckles, catches pearly-translucent in Shane's dark eyelashes. He is the prettiest thing on the goddamn planet.
"Oh," Shane says, after a moment, when he realizes he can't open his eyes. "Um."
Ilya chuckles, finds the tissues in the bedside drawer. He's careful, dabbing until Shane's waterlines are safe from debris. His face breaks into a smile when he gets his first look at Ilya's full face, hovering over him at the end of the bed.
"Hi," Shane says again, dreamily. "Can I have a kiss?"
The answer being, yes. Of course.
hollanov baby 💪🐥💪
june is over... goodbye pride month, hello disability pride month!!
let's all be disabled this month... together 🤝
if you're not disabled yet: no need to worry! i can help. come closer.
you can only pick one! would you rather...
fuck hudson
be connor's #1 hag

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Now @gimmiekiss1221 got me thinking about Ilya trying to convince Shane to let him do a line off him
“Don’t you want to be good for me, Hollander?”
“All the other girls let me, don’t you want to be my best girl?”
“You’d look so fucking sexy, just one little line right here” tracing his finger at the top of Shane’s ass cheek “or maybe here” tracing where his ass meets his thigh.
And Shane’s emotions are all over the place because he’s jealous, and frustrated, and genuinely worried about Ilya but fuck he’s also turned on.
"would look so good on you, hollander. just a little bit off this perfect fucking ass. it will make me fuck even better, you will love it. just once, yes? i want to show my favorite girl how good i can fuck her. only one little line, is safe. i would never hurt you, baby. you know this."
....and i think the 'baby' drop and being called his favorite girl is too enticing and despite what an awful idea he knows it is, shane lets him....
hi guys. i honestly really hate doing this and hate having to keep asking for help but idk what else to do honestly. i hit another snag today in my disability case - i was denied for the third time now. i'm going to go through an appeal process, but this just means more waiting and more time that i don't make enough money to pay bills and essentially survive and more time that i have to continue working the limited hours that i can barely manage as is.
currently i'm dealing with fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, complex ptsd, autism, major depressive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder amongst other things and it's really hard to stay afloat while dealing with so many physical and mental struggles on top of it all.
i know that things are tough for a lot of us right now and the rising cost of everything really isn't helping, but any donation or reblog is genuinely so so so appreciated. 🙏🤎
ko-fi / paypal / gofundme
i don't have a lot to offer but i can make edits and gifsets for commission, so i will put some prices down below:
$3 ...........................-> icon $5 ...........................-> gif header $5+ .........................-> $1 charge per add on / specified color, border, etc $6 ...........................-> icon pack which includes 5 icons $8 ...........................-> 5 header pack & above add on charges still apply $10 .........................-> basic gif request ( gif examples ) $15 .........................-> color based gif request ( gif examples )
that “ilya rozanov to ottawa” unrestricted free agent tweet must have been insane
we need more shane hollander gangbang. WITHOUT HAYDEN PIKE
ilya voice shane my love i have found this new thing called sunning your ass you have to lie in the sun with your cheeks spread it’s good for circulation i think you should do it every day it will probably make you live longer-
shane voice ilya what the fuck are you talking about

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anyways. my final thoughts on the ai thing is that if you've used ai for fanfic writing, you can just stop. if youre genuinely just someone who's using it as a tool bc youve gotten used to it, its not too late to stop. I guarantee you that your writing will be better and all AI is teaching you is now how to write like AI. u need to learn how to write like u. and if you look, you Can find people in fandom to help you. theres someone who can help you proofread your fic, or tinker with your sentences. someone to help you with code. someone to help u find the answers to all your hockey questions. and itll be more fun this way