The Fiction Files

Looking for: a twin with terrible spying abilities and ever more terrible life decision making skills. Must love power, poison, and pretty kings.

If we're being honest, our favorite Duarte sister.

Cardan on Tinder: JUDE? *Swipes right* ... Aw, FUCK. It was just trashy Taryn. *Googles "How take back swipes on Tinder"*

Wanting a guy who gives no fucks. Drama kings NEED apply. *Grabs popcorn*  🍿

Cardan on Tinder: Jude, EW GROSS DON’T BOTHER. SWIPE LEFT PEASANT.

Also Cardan on Tinder: Jude, EW GROSS...*Swipes right* *Creates ten more new accounts so he can keep swiping right*

Wanting a pale, creepy dude who’s weirdly into redheads and seeking world domination.

Be my Territorial Fae Bastard. Bonus if you can turn into a hawk and control the wind. Should be able to put up with vast amounts of bullshit.

Need a girl who’s into self-sacrifice, has no confidence, and enjoys thrill seeking visions of her non-dead ex-boyfriend. Should also enjoy reading and cooking. Brown eyes preferrable.

Needing a ginger with an eye of gold and a fiesty temper.

Needing a sweet-hearted soul with a green thumb who just wants to find her soulmate. Please no gingers.

Wanting someone feisty who enjoys throwing mystery boxes off bridges and won’t take any shit. Should be loyal to a fault with a secret marshmallow heart. Perfect poker face a must.

High lord of no one's heart. Hard pass.

Looking for an overbearing douchebag that also goes by the name of Tambitch.

Looking for a mysterious “melon farmer” who is willing to travel long distances to find me.

Just looking for my Alpha who loves tomatoes almost as much as he loves me.

Looking for a sassy pyromaniac with a flair for the macabre who’s been blessed by gods. Preferably someone with excellent taste who likes that fancy lifestyle.