
if i look back, i am lost

blake kathryn
art blog(derogatory)
Misplaced Lens Cap

oozey mess
Jules of Nature
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
🪼

pixel skylines
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

roma★
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sade Olutola

shark vs the universe
occasionally subtle

PR's Tumblrdome
h
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

seen from Belarus
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Palestinian Territories
seen from Australia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from Armenia
seen from Nepal
seen from Spain

seen from Ukraine
seen from Bosnia & Herzegovina
seen from Brazil

seen from South Korea

seen from Oman

seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from Brazil

seen from Malaysia
@nixiefromthebleeding

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heel!
little rascal
More Spideypool headcanons!
‼️CW: One of the images contains non-explicit nudity.

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Jennifer's Body (2009) Obsession (2026)
i made a mistake
Companion piece to the theoretical first chapter of Hunting!Spiderverse.
Ft. Depressed!Peter escorting MJ to her place of work- otherwise known as "How Peter Ended up Working at St. Margaret's."
Irina was the first person Peter met on the outside who smiled at him.
New York wasn't a very "smiling at strangers" city. In fact, someone who smiled that brightly and warmly at you was probably moments from pulling a box cutter and slashing your face and was therefore to be avoided. But Irina, holding a baby on her hip and watching a small child tumble around with other kids on the playground, turned and beamed at Peter as he passed on 8th street and he felt the slightest bit more welcome in the city he had lived in his entire life.
"It's different, than I remember," Peter said at Irina's kitchen table, watching her eldest son Alex show the baby, Dima, how to play Mario on his handheld console.
Despite the narrow halls and dilapidated nature of their Section 8 apartment, Irina made the place her own. Peter felt like he had walked into 19th century Russia, or the tea room downtown that closed even before Peter was locked up. All heavy velvet drapery and overhead chandeliers and busily patterned upholstered wooden furniture, the red wallpaper in the living room as mesmerizing as it was headache inducing, paintings in round frames of old Russian writers and intellectuals.
Here are there were more modern touches. A nice sized television with another console on the stand underneath was mounted on the only white wall in the entire home, that Peter had seen. The kitchen was less drastically changed, with an electric stove and real tile on the floor.
Peter didn't know where someone like Irina, a single mother with two children, got the money to decorate her home this way. He also knew it wasn't his place to ask. Suspicion over other people's source of money is what got his Uncle killed after all.
Peter was thankfully knocked from his maudlin thoughts when Irina placed a bowl of matzo ball soup in front of him. He looked up--Alex and Dima were already served, the former with a sandwich and chips and the latter some green and orange baby food.
"What's different?" she asked, her voice heavily accented and stern. Peter was reminded of the time he spent in Brighton, summer days wiled away on the beach followed by stuffing his face with Russian pastries before the trip home.
"Alphabet City. New York, in general."
Peter picked up his spoon and cut off a small part of one of two matzo balls, soft and full of dill. The soup itself looked like homemade chicken noodle--not the way his Aunt prepared it, but the Jewish diaspora in the city spanned multiple continents. He was grateful all the same.
Irina tucked a strand of blonde hair that escaped the bun on top of her head behind her ear. "Six years, you said?"
"Almost. Basically."
"The city has not changed as much as you think." She smiled at him again before returning to the kitchen. "New phones, new technologies, but the people are the same," she called back.
Peter ate slowly so he didn't get sick. The soup melted in his mouth, filling him with warm memories of home. He tried not to get sick on those either.
"Manhattan is the same. My block is the same," Irina said, sitting next to Peter at the final chair around the table and placing a cup of dark tea behind his soup bowl. She had one of her own, a small spoon inside of the cup and the tea pale with milk.
"It feels... off."
"I think it is you that's different," Irina said. "You have become a man. You see things differently now."
Peter glanced over at her, watching the way her green eyes sparkled with mischief. Peter got put away too early to truly be a ladies man but he could see himself sweeping her off her feet, if even for one night. If he wasn't homeless and destitute and depressed. He looked back down at his soup.
"Not to be rude," Peter began to ask, and then his eyes flicked over to Alex and Dima. "Never mind," he said, taking another spoonful of hot soup into his mouth.
"You were going to ask about my husband, weren't you?" Irina asked. Her smile wasn't as beaming now, but it was still there, playing around the edges of her pink lips. "You don't need to worry, I did not lose him in a way that... ah, lost me money? Financial risk?"
Peter nodded. Alex was playing on his handheld again, sandwich half eaten and chips gone, and Dima made a perfect baby mess all over himself with his food but he was laughing and cooing to himself.
"What happened?" Peter blurted out, before his brain caught up with him. "Sorry, I just--"
Irina shook her head and pursed her lips. She took a sip of tea, set the cup back on its saucer, and said, "He was not kind to me. To our sons. And there is someone in this building who was able to get help for me."
Her gaze pierced him, pale eyebrows lowered, head bent slightly forward. "There is a man who helps people like me. I was sure he would charge me more than I could spare but he... didn't. My husband was gone. And later, I found money under a coat that was draped over a chair." She didn't look at all close to tears but her voice was low, amazed. "More money than I had seen at once. He left no way for me to contact him, to thank him."
Peter listened to her story with wide eyes. The mercenaries and guns for hire he had heard about in prison were ruthless, and expensive. Whatever whisper network this guy had set up for saving battered wives and little children fell more into the Robin Hood category of violence.
"That's... I'm glad, Irina. That you had someone looking out for you."
Irina nodded. "Yes. I am glad as well." She finished her tea and stood again. "Finish your soup and shower, if you'd like. I am sure what is left of my husband's clothes will fit you."
"Thank you," he said to her retreating back.
When he left the apartment, Alex hugged him around his leg and Dima grabbed his hair. Irina just continued to smile.
Maybe there would be other people as kind and generous as her, but Peter didn't want to rely on charity for the rest of his life. And while Irina was right, that the city hadn't changed and he was just seeing it with new eyes, he still felt off kilter and out of place. He didn't want to go back to Forest Hills, to crawl into his Aunt's home and beg forgiveness and pretend like he could return to the life he had before.
Soon after he parted ways with Irina he found himself shelter in the ever-present construction on the north end of the East River greenway. The public bathrooms at that park were open from 8 am to 4 pm every day, so he could keep at least marginally clean. The East Village was out of the way enough for him to keep a low profile without running off to Long Island with his tail between his legs.
Wary of scaring the hipsters into calling the police on him, Peter didn't travel further west than Avenue D when he could help it. He tried his luck finding work at the Jobs Plus on the edge of his boundary but that was a dead end. Peter couldn't blame them; the city required him to have a permanent address to be placed with a job coordinator, but Peter needed money to get a permanent address, which meant he needed a job.
The intake person at the desk was sympathetic to his ranting, probably because he kept his hands to himself and didn't raise his voice. When he was done, she gave him a pamphlet of directions to shelters and food banks for the homeless in the area. Peter went to some of the soup kitchens when his hunger got too bad, but he didn't like taking food out of the mouths of others. People that were in more need than him.
Although he didn't see Irina again, nervous about skirting the rules that didn't allow visits by non-residents for longer than eight hours and sure she would offer him a warm night's stay, he was treated kindly by other families in Section 8 housing. He'd receive food and clothing from them sometimes, people who couldn't have been making enough money to even support themselves.
Two months passed this way, the city transitioning from an unusually warm fall into a rainy winter. Two months that could have been a lot more painful than they were, given his circumstances.
After days without human contact, curled up under a metal sheet supported by a scaffolding frame, Peter decided it was time for another walk to the soup kitchen. It was only open from 11 am to 1 pm on certain days, and Peter didn't exactly have a calendar on him, so he had to assume by the laws of probability that it was a weekday.
Moving around in the daylight was an effort that he didn't like to exert until his hunger became painful. He didn't look like himself anymore--hair long and unkempt, beard and mustache wild and covering the lower half of his face. He kept himself covered with an overlarge hoodie from Irina's closet, partly because of the cold and partly because he didn't want to see his own emaciated body.
When he wore it out of Irina's place it had fit fine, maybe even a little snug.
The only thing that remained of the old Peter, of his former life, were his Uncle's glasses that were thankfully returned to him by the COs when he was released. One of the lenses had been lost somewhere on his journey from Ossining back into the city, but he didn't need them to see anyway. He had popped the other lens out so he didn't give himself a headache while wearing them.
After the sun had risen enough that Peter could assume it was mid-morning, he carefully bundled the tarp and blanket he was using to sleep and hid them under some more metal sheeting. He stood carefully, unsure if he had pulled anything by sleeping wrong, and then walked down to the public bathroom.
The door to the men's room was open, thankfully, which meant it was after 8 am. Peter didn't like to loiter around the soup kitchen too much, afraid of making the women and children and normal people too nervous to eat, so after he used the toilet and washed his hands and face he walked to the Section 8 building at the corner of 6th and the FDR where he knew he could see a clock through the front doors at the right angle.
It was 11:15. Perfect. And there didn't seem to be many people inside the community center that he passed, so it must be a work day.
Peter stood on the corner of 6th and D for a few minutes. His hands shook in the front pocket of his hoodie. Once he passed this boundary he would truly be in the city, he would be seen. He waited for the next light cycle to pass and then at the white walking man signal he finally crossed the avenue.
After the initial hurdle, Peter felt more confident about walking to Trinity's Food for the Homeless. He kept his head down when he entered and said please and thank you to everyone he interacted with, receiving a plate of mashed potatoes and gravy and vegetables and real fucking steak that threatened to make his fangs drop. He consciously resisted, but sat at the back of the hall facing away from the hot food line just in case.
He was still hungry afterwards, to be sure. He stood and threw his plate away when he was done, saying more thank yous to the volunteers, and slipped out the door as quickly as he entered. It would be enough for now, giving him just enough energy to continue to look for work.
Peter returned to his shelter with the day's local newspaper and scoured the classifieds for anything that would take him as dirty and felonious as he was. He mentally marked a few to call the next time he was able to use the public phone at the library. Then he read the rest of the paper cover to cover.
Besides the hunger, and the loneliness, the thing Peter hated most about being homeless was the boredom. He couldn't exactly take a jaunt around the park or visit a museum or see a show. Even free events were off limits to someone looking--and probably smelling--like him.
On some days reading could get him through it, and on others he felt restless, moments from gnawing on his own arms like a trapped animal. Today was one of the bad days.
Peter got up and took probably his last chance to use the bathroom of the day before starting a trek along the FDR downtown to the Williamsburg Bridge. Wasting energy on moving probably wasn't a great idea when you were starving, but when had Peter Parker ever had a good idea?
The walk was 30 minutes on a good day. Peter moved slower than usual, shivering, head pounding. The air around him was cold but when he kept moving he could usually stay warm enough to function.
By the time he returned to the city, the sky had gone dark--it had taken him much longer than an hour to cross to Brooklyn and back. Darkness was good for cover and very bad for thermoregulation. If Peter didn't get back to his shelter soon there was a good chance he'd pass out on the sidewalk somewhere and be woken up the next morning by the cops.
Not having any identification on him was a blessing and a curse, when it came to pigs--they couldn't find out he was already a felon and torture him for it, but they also knew he was a vagrant and not some drunk who had a hard night.
Peter was minutes from reaching his shelter, crossing Houston at a snail's pace, when he heard an argument on 3rd. It didn't sound like a normal domestic disagreement, this was frantic and angry.
"Fuck off!" a woman shouted, and then a much deeper voice grunted in pain.
With the very last of his energy, Peter jogged up Avenue D and around the corner, finding two people partially hidden in the dark doorway to the right of the already closed Dollar Plus. Peter had to do something--to call out, to run forward, to distract this woman's attacker so she could get away.
Instead, she punched the man square in the jaw and he dropped to the ground like a ragdoll.
Peter could only stand at the end of the street with his mouth open, watching her adjust her jacket and the duffle bag slung over her shoulder before stepping over the man on the sidewalk. She caught sight of Peter and he flinched, unsure if he should hide, which would make himself look suspicious, or simply try to run.
"He didn't try and mug you too?" she asked, sounding concerned.
"No," Peter said immediately. "Sorry, I wanted to help. It seems like you had everything handled?"
The woman smirked at him, red lipstick not even smudged. "I've been around the block a few times. And I can tell by your accent you're not new in town. Haven't seen you around here before."
"I don't really hang out," he said. He took a step back, shoving his trembling hands in the front pocket of his hoodie. "Sorry to disturb you."
Peter had already turned around when the woman called, "Hey! Wait, dude." He turned his head and she came much closer to him than anyone had in months, reaching for his arm. He flinched again and she paused with her hand in the air.
"You look like you could use a drink," she said sympathetically. "I work at this place nearby, Hellhouse. You heard of it?"
"I haven't. I don't have any money...," he demurred, but she didn't seem the type to take "no" for an answer.
She waved her hand dismissively. "On me. Come on, Tiger. One drink. What d'you got to lose?"
Peter opened his mouth and then closed it again. "Nothing," he said.
Peter: Daredevil is a WHORE. also im shocked Peter knows that Matty would be Daredevil: does EVERYONE know his secret identity??? Foggy will be pissed.
Hi Nonny!
God, slutty Matt Murdock, my beloved. I've said this before and I'll SAY IT again: Matty is the only person in the world I would accept "oops, I slipped" as an excuse for having slept with someone. Man trips and whoops, here goes his pants.
My Matty is just unapologetically the superhero community village bicycle. Sleeping with Matty is on the level of comfort activity as like, getting Chinese food for dinner. Like, "Oh, you know it HAS been a while since I've ridden the Devil's pogo stick, I'll treat myself tonight."
And Matty's just like, oh? yeah sure, happy to serve :))
Truly for Hunting!Peter, he *shouldn't* know who Matty is, but I do feel like it is *kind* of an open secret with the NYC supes.
My normal Pete knows Matty because they've just been around for so long they've come to rely on each other a lot.
I've got two snippets from WIPs (not Hunting!Spidey) that involve Matty. I'll leave it to y'all of which one you want to see lol.
whatcha want? matty sneak peak edition
snippet from a fic of Peter meeting Matty for the first time (innocent)
snippet from a fic of Matty and Wade fucking around (profoundly not innocent)
Yeah, I figured that might be the case, you perverts (she says, Queen Pervert.)
The set up for this is Wade coming back to NYC and trying to be a Good Boy (or at least. A Better Boy.) He's not quite ready to make his case to Spidey about that, but he's figures Matt's a good trial.
As a heads up, NSFW, some BDSM themes in the below, go with god, etc etc:
~
“I’m trying, you know? To turn a new leaf, entering my art pop era, whatever you want to call it. I’m trying to be good. And I get it—no one thinks Deadpool can change, but I…” he trails off, then he scuffs his foot and sighs. “Maybe they’re right. Maybe I am a lost cause.”
Wade’s body language is so dejected it looks clownish, his broad shoulders slumped and head hanging low. He feels...genuinely distressed.
Matt makes a decision.
“Okay,” he says. He walks over to the door of his roof. “In.”
Wade’s head jerks up and his heart rate spikes. “What?”
Matt gestures to the door. “I’m inviting you in. If you want to.”
He wants to. Matt can smell the sudden low-grade arousal on him and hear his racing heart. Still:
“Is this a pity fuck? Is Daredevil offering to pity fuck me?” His voice is part accusation and part bewilderment.
Matt tilts his head curiously. “Does that matter?”
Wade laughs. It’s hollow sound. There’s a bitter flood of shame and sour anger in the air.
“I don’t need your pity, DD, as much as I’d love to get that d if you know what I mean. I know I’m disgusting. Don’t want to put you off your—”
“I’m blind, Wade,” Matt informs him. Another skipped heartbeat and the air between them turns confused.
Matt bites back a smile. It’s not particularly nice to enjoy this part so much, but there’s something about Deadpool that makes him feel playful and just a little mean.
“...Uh. What?”
Matt opens the door and steps into the stairwell of his house. He slides his mask off and hangs it on the hook by the door. He waves a hand in front of his face.
“I’m blind. My powers give me visual information from the rest of my senses—think echolocation. The finer details are lost on me. So if your looks are what’s stressing you out, don’t bother. I’m offering because I want to.”
The arousal is back, having spiked when Matt took off his mask. Matt doesn’t hide his smirk this time. He lets it curl, slow and confident, over his face. Wade sucks in a sharp breath.
“Holy shit, you’re hot, what the fuck,” he mutters, and Matt laughs.
“Thanks.” He lifts an eyebrow. “So, are you gonna let me fuck you, or what?”
“Yep,” Wade squeaks, “I mean, yes please, holy shit.”

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Horny brain! Activate!
Just wanted to write a scene of Spidey finally getting to indulge his colossal oral fixation. Wade volunteers as tribute! So here: 4k words of pure filth.
---------------
Wade's back hits the wall. He's out of breath, body thrumming from the adrenaline, pulse a hummingbird beat against his chest.
Spiderman has him caged against the rooftop access, an inky blot in the darkness, an electric shadow pressed up against Wade. Their masks are halfway up, and Spidey's tongue is halfway down Wade's throat.
Spidey drops his head to the crook of Wade's neck, leaving a series of sucking kisses that make Wade ache in the suit. "I win," he says, smug as shit, but Wade can't fault him for it.
It was a good fucking chase and an even better fucking fight. He just wishes he could keep the bruises.
"Yeah, you did," Wade pants, grinding against Spidey's dense body. It's amazing, a perfect end to the night, except Wade's not ready for it to be over. "Where I come from, winners get a prize." He says, hoping it doesn't come out too desperate. Or maybe just the right amount of desperate.
Do we know yet how Wade finds out Peter and Spidey are the same person?
A comic for the single most asked question in my inbox. (I hope everyone who asked this doesn't mind if I just lump the sentiment under one answer).
I don't have the leadup totally figured out, but the reveal....doesn't go great. Shocker, but Deadpool doesn't like being tricked, especially by the rare few he's opened up to. These two friendships were some of the only instances Wade didn't feel out of control. And for all his faults, Wade's never lied- not to Peter and not to Spider-Man.
Call him Boo-Boo the fool for thinking the sentiment went both ways.
All those small moments of doubt, little things that didn't add up- the gaslighting, the second-guessing, the crumbs from both sides of the mask, the sex and violence... yeah...Wade's not having a good time.
And Peter? Peter's determined to take responsibility and be in control of how he reveals himself for once. But is it too little too late?
(Asks are open again!)
SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959) dir. Billy Wilder
Spideypool doodle based on some omega verse fic I read once upon a time ago 😨
I don't think I'll even finish this deadpool drawing

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