The Belly Of The Beast

(Also, i’mma gonna call the black joker Loki in this because I don’t to keep calling them ‘the black joker’ and having to type it out and, if I try and shorten to BJ, I giggle too much, so their name is Loki in this. (Might change it later down the line, don’t know yet.))

Anyway, let’s get on with it. (Also, this is going to have a fair use of my thoughts on what Joker is and how the cards came to be. So, keep that in mind.)

To start with, just like Joker, Loki is a god(shocker, I know). They both exist in a dark, empty void where they could create anything in it, but nothing ever lasts.

Joker hated it there. No matter what he created, it was gone in a matter in seconds. Especially anything that has some sort of conscientious to it. What's the point of having powers like these if you can’t really use them for anything!?

Loki has no issues in the void. If they wanted to create something, they create something. And if it was gone soon after, no big deal. They were just content with their existences. And if they really wanted to be around someone, Joker was always there. (Even if Joker rarely ever wanted to be around them.)

Soon, a crack formed in their world that let them see the mortal plane.

Joker was absolutely obsessed enchanted by it all. The colors, the sights, all the people with different looks and personalities. The same people he can lord his powers over. What wasn't there to like about it? Every day he watched this world, he found something new that enticed him more.

Loki, though, wasn't as hyper fixated on this world as Joker. Not by a long shot. Sure, they found the world and the morals in it a little interesting, but that was only brought about by some mild curiosity. They only check out the crack every once in a while, and not glue themselves to it.

But Joker seemed really happy. And when Joker is happy, he won’t yell at Loki to go away and actually talk to them if it's about the humans. So, they let it be.

Then Joker got in contact with a human to create something. Then that something lead to 13 somethings. One of which would aloud Joker into the mortal plane.

Loki didn't argue with him or fight him to stay. They just followed him out. Not because their interest in humans grew or they were really worried about Joker. It was more out of duty, in a sense.

Unfortunately, there was nothing to keep them in this world—all the things Joker created were all used up. Instead, they used the human as an anchor to keep them there.

This, though, left them without a body. They were kinda like, what they learned from humans later on, a ghost. Just floating around, bound to who holds the cards, not being able to interact with anything and (almost) anyone.

Wow! 13 Cards!Romeo won!

Is it odd to say I’m both shocked and not shocked at the same time?

Eh, whatever.

Let’s bring in our last pair of fighters!

For final time, this is a 1v1 between the clones counterparts from Land of Kings and 13 Cards.

Last time. So try and remember them. Rules:

This is a fistfight; no outside weapons allowed. (This can be broken if it’s something they have it constantly and canonically on their person.)

The generators are also not allowed. Nor powers you got from said generator. (Looking at you, LoK! Dante.)

Even if the pairing wouldn’t feel like they would fight, they can, they will, and they are. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Ya’ll ready? Let’s fucking do this!

Round 8: The Spades

Waru: Me after I take 17 Benadryl and start seeing the hat man.

Felix: THE WHO?

And LoK!Brolly takes the win!

Give us a moment to clean up the puddles of tears and we’ll jump right into this! (Dear god, how are those two not severely dehydrated?)

Alright, let’s bring on the next fighters!

I am nothing but a broken record by this point but, this is a 1v1 between the clones counterparts from Land of Kings and 13 Cards.

By this point, they’re engraved into your heads, but rules:

This is a fistfight; no outside weapons allowed. (This can be broken if it’s something they have it constantly and canonically on their person.)

The generators are also not allowed. Nor powers you got from said generator. (Looking at you, LoK! Dante.)

Even if the pairing wouldn’t feel like they would fight, they can, they will, and they are. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

We good? We good. Begin!

Round 7: The Romeos

Just. Just, one day, Fedor gets so annoyed with the clones and he decides: “if you’re going to act child, i’mma treat you like children.” And makes sticker charts for them.

He thought it would embarrass them and that they would want him to get rid of the charts.

Instead, they work. The charts work. While they’re still pain in the asses, the pain has been toned down quite a bit, in hope of getting a sticker.

(While there are common rules the clones share: don’t destroy the apartment or kill each other, each clone has their own rules for good behavior for getting a sticker.

Example:

Fedor: Waru, you only pranked two people today and it didn’t end with them trying to kill you, the apartment getting trashed, or leave any lasting damage. One sticker for you.

Waru: HA! Stuck it losers!

Fedor: Do test your luck, Waru. It can be easily taken away.

Waru: *grumbles*

Kuromaku: I still don’t understand how that counts for a sticker.

Felix: RIGHT!? Like, how do THAT count as good behavior!?

Fedor: That is good behavior. For Waru. I don’t think he’s capable of not being a problem to someone for a day.

Waru: Sounds about right.

Fedor: And, if he does hold back on what makes him do what he does, I’m pretty sure he’ll explode and don’t feel like cleaning clone goop off the walls. So, I’ll take what I can get.

The others: …

Waru: Also sounds right.

Seems like the green dictator won! Well done! (Gah. That felt so wrong.)

On to our next round of vic–uh, fighters. I meant fighters.

Still, this is a 1v1 between the clones counterparts from Land of Kings and 13 Cards.

Rules. Again:

This is a fistfight; no outside weapons allowed. (This can be broken if it's something they have it constantly and canonically on their person.)

The generators are also not allowed. Nor powers you got from said generator. (Looking at you, LoK! Dante.)

Even if the pairing wouldn't feel like they would fight, they can, they will, and they are. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Now on to the good stuff! Begin!

Round 6: The Brollys

(Yes, I know Waru has like an infinite amount of them, but hear me out.)

The day starts off pretty peaceful; Waru hasn’t gotten up yet and everyone was enjoying the quiet before it disappears.

And disappear it does because, when Waru got up, something becomes very clear.

Waru’s glasses were gone!

He starts to accuse the others of stealing them, but everyone claims they have nothing to do with his glasses gone missing; saying that maybe he just missed placed them. So they all start searching the apartment for them, but to no avail.

(As for the pile of them we saw in episode 8, they either got thrown out because what are they going to do with a bunch of green glasses? Or, they were stored somewhere but can’t remember where. And they weren’t found during the search.)

Waru is very upset about this—how much of it he shows, up for debate—so much so the others decided to take him out to get him a different pair.

Cue glasses montage.

This only sours his mood further, making it very clear the only glasses he wants are his iconic ones.

The episode ends with them finding his glasses (and maybe the pile of them, so they can all carry a pair so if something like this ever happens again, they’re prepared.)

Not much, yes. But the main idea behind this was how to hide Waru’s eyes and it can play one of two ways:

Option one: the episode plays as it normally would, from the fourth wall perspective. So every time we see him, his back is turned to us or something is hiding them from us. But let’s take this idea and turn it up a bit by making it that NO ONE ever see his eyes. Not even the others. Whenever it seems like they might get a glimpse of his eyes, something always happens to keep them hidden. Even when it doesn’t matter much sense: newspaper gets blown into his face even though there was no wind that day, or him getting splashed by a mud puddle, causing his hair to stick to his face, yet everyone around him is dry.

Just the universe making sure Waru’s eyes are kept a secret. And making Waru’s bad day even worse.

Looks like 13C! Felix couldn't put up much of a fight against his Land of Kings counterpart!

Next round!

Like always, this is a 1v1 between the clones counterparts from Land of Kings fans 13 Cards.

Getting tired of me repeating the rules? Too bad, here they are:

This is a fistfight; no outside weapons allowed. (This can be broken if it's something they have it constantly and canonically on their person.)

The generators are also not allowed. Nor powers you got from said generator. (Looking at you, LoK! Dante.)

Even if the pairing wouldn't feel like they would fight, they can, they will, and they are. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Now, with all that out of the way. Let's begin!

Round 5: The Warus

Romeo: *gasp* You're putting it in cold water?

Felix: Waru. Answer the question, Waru.

Waru: Yeah. I thought for like a while that people just put it in hot water to speed up the "tea-ification" process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Felix: You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes???

Romeo: Why are you. Putting it in the microwave. To boil it?

Felix: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Romeo: IT TAKES LESS THAN A MINUTE!

Felix: BESTIE, DO YOU POWER THE STOVE TOP WITH THE FUCKING SUN!?

Kuromaku: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Felix: LIKE SEVEN MINUTES!

Romeo: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat, and it boils in like two minutes. Less than that, you use a saucepan.

Felix: You're putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? Did you enchant the stove??????

Spade: Every single person in this apartment is a fucking lunatic.

One of the many arguments the clones have had.

(Own version of it:

And it's Lok! Dante for the win! Guess he even without his powers, he's force to be reckon with!

On to the next fight!

Once again, this is a 1v1 between the clones counterparts from Land of Kings and 13 Cards.

Guess what? The rules again:

This is a fistfight; no outside weapons allowed. (This can be broken if it's something they have it constantly and canonically on their person.)

The generators are also not allowed. Nor powers you got from said generator. (Looking at you, LoK! Dante.)

Even if the pairing wouldn't feel like they would fight, they can, they will, and they are. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Ya good? Alright, let's start this!

Round 4: The Felixs