"We'll meet again soon."

OOOH boy.

I'm in kind of a spicy mood today, so not sure how this is gonna come out.

First things first, TW: pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum, depression, abuse

Why do I care about Lucrecia?

Because I'm a mom. And she's a mom. And because whatever Lucrecia did wrong, and she did do things wrong, she never got to hold her son.

I don't think some people who have not gone through childbirth, especially a traumatic one, understand how horrifying that concept is to me. I physically could not stop shaking with panic every time my baby was not in my arms in that immediate postpartum period. Not being able to see my baby for the first time, even for only five minutes while she was with my husband and being given her vaccines, made me feel terror I had never felt before. For whatever she did, she did not deserve to be indefinitely separated from her child before she was given the chance to even hold him.

She was also isolated and abused and probably had both peri and postpartum depression. I do not believe Hojo is capable of a healthy relationship, and she had been so thoroughly manipulated that she believed she deserved to be treated this way. She was trapped in a nightmare with an evil man in circumstances she helped create, but clearly regretted.

And that's another thing. I've never seen a single person who defends her say she did nothing wrong. We know she did things wrong. I've never said she was innocent or that she made zero mistakes. What I am saying is that the fandom is so quick to condemn her. She is not exactly like Hojo in any sense. She is not an irredeemable monster. She made mistakes under circumstances that were horrific and abusive.

Yes, she did things wrong. She also suffered. She also wanted to love her son. She realized and acknowledged her mistakes and tried to atone for them in the only ways available to her.

People tend to forget that canonically, Lucrecia was trapped in a psychological nightmare. She was driven by immense guilt over her past with Grimoire Valentine (Vincent’s father), which Hojo actively exploited to manipulate her.

Hojo didn't view Lucrecia as a partner; she was a coworker turned live-in test subject. By the time she realized the horror of what was being done to her unborn child (injecting Jenova cells into her womb), she was already trapped in the deep subterranean labs of Shinra, completely cut off from any real support system.

I'm still really sleepy and will probably go back to sleep after I type this. But let's remember. Immediately after giving birth to Sephiroth -- most likely traumatically -- Sephiroth was immeidately taken from her by Hojo for the Jenova Project.

Lucrecia never got to hold him. She never got to nurse him. And, most importantly, she never got to comfort him.

Soon afterward, her body began to break down due to the cells, leading to her suicide attempt, leading her to exile herself in a crystal: conscious but TRAPPED.

When we see her in FF7 and Dirge, her entire existence is defined by one singular, eternal ache. She wants to know if Sephiroth is okay. And she deeply regrets not being able to save or hold him. Imagine that. Not being able to hold your child. Being locked in a crystal with the knowledge that he was with the man who took him away from you. Every day, your life is spent like this.

It is very crucial to note the difference that the fandom often misses with Hojo and Lucrecia.

Hojo is driven by pure, unadulterated scientific ego. He has NO remose, no love (though you can say he loved Sephiroth like one loves the cure for cancer), and, most importantly, he has NO conscience.

Lucrecia? She is driven by a mix of misguided scientific ambition, severe EMOTIONAL TRAUMA, and intense MANIPULATION. And the most important distinction: she felt IMMENSE REMORSE. That is what her ENTIRE character arc is about when she left behind data fragments that was trying to atone for her part in the horror.

Lucrecia is a beautiful example of a tragic figure, not a villainous one. She made terrible, catastrophic choices, but she paid for them with a fate worse than death: eternally separated from her child, locked in a crystal womb of her own making, drowning in her own regrets.

I’m not sure if I was watching a bunch of DoC cutscenes or just thinking about them, but eventually I got to the “give my son back” scene. And something clicked in my mind.

She didn’t even know that Sephiroth would be taken from her.

This fact makes her even more tragic. Because not only did she not know that she’d be forcefully separated from her baby, but that implies that either she was never told about this part of the plan, or she was actively lied to. And honestly, I can see either one!

I don’t have children yet (but I would like to someday), but even I can understand that having your newborn child taken from you would be unbelievably traumatic. And when you add in everything else she was going through, her situation becomes even more terrifying.

She was in an incredibly vulnerable position both physically and mentally, grieving from the loss of the only people who cared about her, and was actively being abused. And knowing the type of person that Hojo is, I wouldn’t be at all shocked if he had plans to use her again. So she tried to escape in the only way she knew how, but that failed. And now she’s trapped once again, asleep in a shining prison and an endless stream of nightmares, memories and regrets. Regrets that, even after the planet is safe, even though her abuser is truly dead and despite knowing that the one she loved is still alive, she can’t forgive herself for. And now, she’ll never be able to hold her child.

She made mistakes. But with everything that was being done to her, I can’t really blame her for any of it. It’s because of so many things that Lucrecia is easily my favorite character in the compilation, and why I will defend her whenever I get the chance.

I know it's because they're friends but Vincent's VA calling Sephiroth's new VA my boy just gives me feels.