Empress of the Squee

my birthday is in july! :)

This made me smile. Maybe you need a smile today too.

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

was at the aquarium with my friends and one of them pointed out a neat looking fish. and it immediately looked familiar to me, so i was like “wait wait wait guys hang on wait let me google something for you” and desperately fought with the shitty wifi for a full minute to pull up a picture of an eastern eyed click beetle. and felt like that one spider man shirt post.

life is so hard when you’re a very lazy girl by nature but you also want to do a lot of things in your one wild and precious life

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

i love sending people my totaled car as a reaction image it’s so funny

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?