pick up your sword, bruh

>no idea what a tumblr accent even is

I am a long-time tumblr user and a chronically homeless Albanian refugee.

The government of Albania is a bourgeois dictatorship of zionist wallkissers supported by the United States and Europe, with open connections to the Epstein clique. This government has run me and hundreds of thousands of other Albanians out of our home to work shit service jobs and be agricultural slaves in Europe and elsewhere so that they can sell our socialist industry for scrap and our natural resources to Canada and the Zionist entity.

Even that much hasn't worked out for me personally, because I have autism, and also tumblr. I am not even doing particularly well as Albanian refugees go.

Obviously, I have never gotten serious help from the government of Albania or any other country despite repeated and persistent attempts, some of which I have liveblogged in detail over the past few years on this very account.

The only pair of pants I currently own is the one I am wearing, which does not fit. My other pair got a hole so I jetissoned them to get under the weight limit on my baggage allowance for the flight homeward.

I have done this every 6-18 months for the past decade.

I am now going home because my people are overthrowing our government (source) and win or lose I'm staying in the homeland because I simply cannot live like this anymore.

I will be joined in this by my sister whose circumstances are quite similar except that she is a trans woman in addition to everything else, and she is also stupid, and has cooties.

Both our lives have been on emergency footing for many years now and I am requesting tumblr's help in fixing this.

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.