and the world keeps spinning

 — E. E. Cummings, Etcetera: The Unpublished Poems of E.E. Cummings

The request is so urgent my boss needs it by the end of the work week. Which, y'know, is 5 PM on a Friday. So I have four hours to do it.

It's a forwarded request. Somebody contacted a member of the donation team asking for help, "I need a map from the Vietnam War to use for a presentation." It's somebody she's trying to coax into giving a five figure donation to the museum.

The request was asked to the donation team member, who then emailed my boss, who then emailed and called me urgently.

This map required:

North and South Vietnam in it

All four areas that South Vietnam was divided into for military purposes ('Corps') clearly delineated

Four cities, all of them horrifically misspelled, and only identifiable because I know what battle the requester is asking about (it’s in III Corps on the border with Cambodia) (the requester danced around the battle but I’m knowledgeable enough to identify it)

Has Laos and Cambodia in it

Has the Ho Chi Minh Trail in it

So. I was mad about the 'you have literally four hours to find a map with a lot of requirements.'

I was then mad at myself about finding a copyright free map from Texas Tech University within half an hour, proving her right for asking me to do it.

Then, after I found a map that perfectly met the requirements, I was equally amazed, baffled, and horrified when I read further into the forwarded email chain.

The donation team team member they were speaking to used AI to generate a map.

The above put half of North Vietnam in South Vietnam, made the Ho Chi Minh Trail a country, made 60% of Cambodia part of South Vietnam, put the DMZ extremely high up in North Vietnam, completely disconnected the southern tip of Vietnam, misplaced all of the Corps zones, etc etc

At the very last second the donation team member had a moment of divine clarity, remembering there's three historians on payroll to ask for this kind of thing from. So she contacted my boss while saying, "I had fun with this, but I decided I should check for accuracy before I send it to the donor! I need a fact check by the end of the day, then I send it"

My boss, while not the most knowledgeable on the Vietnam War, does know her geography. She took one look, and knew it was so off she called me to tell me how urgent it is that I look at the email and respond

*idea gets more complicated*

*idea gets more complicated*

*idea gets more complicated*

*idea gets more complicated*

but halfway through he reveals that while researching he stumbled upon evidence that Light might be behind the Kira murders, and then spends like fourty minutes explaining the concept of a shinigami, an hour explaining how he thinks Light used one to commit murders, and then another hour explaining Light's ideology and why the concept of criminals being inherently evil is flawed

If watching this whole video hasn't changed your mind - made you *think* about the humanity of the people you are just callously sentencing to death - then I'm at a bit of a loss. But I do know one thing you don't:

My legal name.

That's right. Before I uploaded this video, I changed my legal name, and have encouraged those in my life to do so as well. Frankly, trying to decide what my new name would be probably pushed back this video's release like, a month.

(Aside: Actually it didn't but we can all just pretend it did, it's way more interesting than the minutiae of real issues that cropped up)

So. Is Light Yagami Kira? I can't say for sure. It turns out, accusing a public figure of serial murder comes with a lot of legal ramifications! You would think I'd have learned by now that talking about people has "potential consequences" like "being sued by extremely litigious individuals. "

I spent a long time thinking how to end this video. The only thing I came up with is that there's no way to judge a person by just a list of actions alone. And yes that includes Light, the wanker. Courts spend weeks and weeks trying to litigate criminal cases and they still get it wrong! So even though I think he may be the actual scum of the earth, I hope I'm wrong. I want to believe that, given the opportunity, he wouldn't take the ten seconds to write down my name and take my life with just a flick of his wrist.

*long beat*

But I still changed my name so don't even think about it you little sh-

*sigh* Alright. I'll let the ruse drop.

*the wallpaper background drops down revealing an identical wallpaper background underneath*

Is it greenscreen, or did I actually make an identical background for this bit!? You'll never know! AAAGGGHH-

Anyway, I'm going to have to be very careful segueing into this next part, because if I get it wrong, I could end up sued like I put Mickey Mouse on a daycare's wallpaper, or murdered, and given my financial status, I'm not sure which one is worse. But, well here we go.

PART 5: LIGHT YAGAMI IS KIRA

Oh wait, can't say it like that, one moment-

but halfway through he reveals that while researching he stumbled upon evidence that Light might be behind the Kira murders, and then spends like fourty minutes explaining the concept of a shinigami, an hour explaining how he thinks Light used one to commit murders, and then another hour explaining Light's ideology and why the concept of criminals being inherently evil is flawed

If watching this whole video hasn't changed your mind - made you *think* about the humanity of the people you are just callously sentencing to death - then I'm at a bit of a loss. But I do know one thing you don't:

My legal name.

That's right. Before I uploaded this video, I changed my legal name, and have encouraged those in my life to do so as well. Frankly, trying to decide what my new name would be probably pushed back this video's release like, a month.

(Aside: Actually it didn't but we can all just pretend it did, it's way more interesting than the minutiae of real issues that cropped up)

So. Is Light Yagami Kira? I can't say for sure. It turns out, accusing a public figure of serial murder comes with a lot of legal ramifications! You would think I'd have learned by now that talking about people has "potential consequences" like "being sued by extremely litigious individuals. "

I spent a long time thinking how to end this video. The only thing I came up with is that there's no way to judge a person by just a list of actions alone. And yes that includes Light, the wanker. Courts spend weeks and weeks trying to litigate criminal cases and they still get it wrong! So even though I think he may be the actual scum of the earth, I hope I'm wrong. I want to believe that, given the opportunity, he wouldn't take the ten seconds to write down my name and take my life with just a flick of his wrist.

*long beat*

But I still changed my name so don't even think about it you little sh-

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