Welcome to Expectations

oh… HIM boba…

@meangirlnurse

Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.

i must stress that he's never seen the original comic. My mother simply showed him the shorthand symbol and he memorized it. As far as he is aware this is just a fucking hieroglyph that deals instant psychic damage to everyone under the age of 30

I am drunk and on my way home walked past this truck that had pictures of fish on it and said ‘meat without feet’ I laughed so hardr

First test flight of a flying car by Mazda partially a success

I feel like the Arizona Utah license plate should take some place in our analysis of whatever in the goddam fuck we’re looking at here

Cats that are REALLY human socialized and tolerant of touching are so funny. You can just grab them and pick them up. Boneless. Squish their little face in your hand. They love it. But what's funnier is when you get used to one of those and then absentmindedly pet a normal cat weirdstyle and they're like MYAGH?? & you're just like ykw you're right my bad girl

Grabbing a cat and kind of wiggling it back and forth will have wildly varying results depending on if the cat is normal or boneless

Lancelot: Egad sire! Look at that. King Arthur: Hm, rare to see a VW Beetle this far north. Not impossible, mind.

the second eel at the end in its little cuck shelter 💜

a deeply underrated part of the gay taylor swift conspiracy theories is that if they're right and she really has spent over a decade sending subliminal messages based on minute details for people to decode then she's uuuuuh. I mean she's insane. she's jigsaw. she's the riddler. her dad bought her career because if she didn't have music to distract her she would have started building deathtraps.

the hajj is so much less of an achievement than it was before the invention of motorized transportation. its nothing now, who cares. they need to put the kaaba on the moon.