tragedia nosferata

Why not try something… different?

Spend your next shore leave suffering the miserable drudgeries of Moisenglurk, the galaxy’s premiere displeasure planet. Stroll the goose poop strewn mudflats downstream of the industrial cooling pools. Breathe the sulfurous air of the volcanic mining district. Hike through the manmade forests of Bradford pears or bike along the congested superhighways that are always within earshot. With an average gravity 1.2 times greater than that of Earth, you’re guaranteed to feel the burn.

The wonders of the outdoors not your scene? Moisenglurk boasts a vibrant nightlife of pickpockets, cutthroats, and opportunistic but unimaginative sex pests. Immerse yourself in local hospitality and soon you too will be running on “factory time”—a ruthlessly efficient corporate standard designed to maximize productivity and marked by the discordant blaring of alarms, independent of the natural seasonal cycle or the circadian rhythm.

Should you run into any trouble during your stay, Moisenglurk public officials will be more than happy to relieve you of any remaining valuables.

As your travel agent, I am duty-bound to inform you that Moisenglurk’s gay scene may not be quite what you’re looking for. You might find the smokey alleyways, hazy neon, and flickering gaslights of Neonoiria Prime more to your tastes. Or perhaps the subterranean citystates of Dungeonius-5 have what you need, if you like the squeak of black leather and the rattle of chains. And of course there are always the sweaty dance halls of Dykerion Minor, which have surged in popularity since the gentrification of Dykerion Major pushed the working class lesbians to the smaller of the twin planets.

If you have your heart set on Moisenglurk, don’t let me stop you! But keep in mind, it is a displeasure planet. The difference between displeasure and pain is not mere semantics. Pain planets offer a smorgasbord of twisted eroticism and taboo thrills—whatever your dark heart desires, Pervertopia Secundus has it for you.

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