The blog of a tired shelter worker & hobby farmer

It might not help that I just got off my period and came back to work today to do a nearly 10 hour day with no lunch break or food at all and only getting to sit at all the last hour, or that i ran out of pig feed because i kept putting off getting it and then after my long long day I was unable to pick up pig food at the feed place because I went in close to closing at waited 10 min for a person to ring me up and had to just give up, or that the stupid freaking piglets from last year escaped into the main yard AGAIN and BOTH of them this time, or that all of their care is exclusively always on me, ooor that they make it incredibly difficult to take a vacation but... I had a profound realization today that I am not enjoying my pigs very much. I think I enjoyed them most when I had Fern, Luanne, and little pig boy, particularly when they were up by the house in the dog yard. LPB dying was the first sour-ing off my pig time. Wheel was ok, having him butchered was not really that emotionally terrible either. Things were ok. Getting Speights things really shifted, he is a nice pig but I at my core don't trust him. I'm not sure if that is just because I didnt raise him like the girls or if it is due to him being a boar. He is a perfectly nice pig, good to the ladies fine with the barrows, never ever gives me a problem- respects the fence, never is weird with me, rolls over for belly rubs. He is a good pig! Just something about him. My enjoyment of the pigs tanked dramatically when luanne sucked as a mom and I had to deal with that entire situation. Raising the babies myself was hard. Fern was a good mom but I put off castrating too long with her litter and thats why I have this young problem boar now. The piglets did not sell as well as id hoped. Fern's boar from last year that I still have is frankly a huge problem. Luanne's cryptorchid boy is to but less so. The boar doesn't respect the fence, I also just don't trust him, he is pushy and weird. Natasha who i have not really bonded with much is due in a few weeks and I'm barely excited for piglets. Luanne may or may not even be pregnant and I'm annoyed her piglets are probably off schedule if she is pregnant because she looked like she was in heat and bred after she should of been pregnant. I don't know. I hate upkeeping the pasture. Going out to feed them and keep them watered feels like moving a mountain some days. Maybe I just need a vacation but they make it really hard to take one because I don't trust anyone else to get by them at the gate and close it back up right. I think if I had a better water solution maybe that would help but someone (I think speights or Fernando) keeps repeatedly dumping the water bowl.