dummy by portugal the man

getting hypnotized is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

seals should be able to levitate and hover around at whatever height they want it's not fair that they have to scoot whenever they're out of the water

Reblogging in honor of Marjane Satrapi, one of THE great graphic novelists. Her comic Persepolis was a crucial text for shaping my belief that comics can deeply explore identity, culture, politics, and history.

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

i want you on my team holy shit

every girl wants to get in a vehicle and flip 3-6 switches overhead in the process of turning it on

More things should be operated with big thumb switches and knobs and dials and shit.

Oh, the urge to make a fool of yourself in an in game chatroom just to make a pretty girl laugh...