Vroom vroom! 🧀

Hmmm

There are four jokes in the span of 30 seconds and they all land. Prime Simpsons was something else.

me and my son clump who i wish was dead

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

"cozy bookstore" "cozy cafe with a bookshelf" "omg imagine if there was a place you could just sit and read at" we have this its called the library. you guys want to go to the library. the two college libraries near me have cafes inside and they are open to the public. people need to go to the library

can i be honest tho i kinda hate makeup bc i love licking my lips and rubbing my hands on my face like a cat or a fly annd i also love wiping my eyes like a sleepy infant all the time so basically i cant do it

it is so crazy that we all liked overwatch

there is nothing a corporation hates more than having employees, but a close second is having to provide a good or service in order to make money. these two reasons concisely explain is why the ai bubble formed in the first place.

I like to think there's an Ankh-Morpork show (perhaps a live stage show) that's a combination of Great British Bakeoff and Forged in Fire where they bake dwarf bread and then attack a ballistic dummy with it.

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom