What Donald duck comics taught me:
DONALD taught me to sleep all day
FETHRY taught me to invest in scams with borrowed money
BRIGITTA taught me to stalk old men
GLOMGOLD taught me to shoot people I disagree with
DAISY taught me that it's ok to cheat
GYRO taught me that it's ok to work for free for billionaires
HDL taught me to read books
SCROOGE taught me to shoot my relatives if things don't work out for me
BEAGLE BOYS taught me to steal
GLADSTONE taught me to be a jerk
KILLDARE taught me to escape mental hospitals
MAGICA taught me to obsess over a trinket
GUS taught me to be a fat slob
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