just a gremlin taking out the trash

remember when Ilya grabbed his own ass to hate-wank in the shower? he was so real for that

ilya displaying anya’s obedience school certificate in the trophy room and when someone asks shane about it he goes “well someone in this family had to get their degree”

tumblr is only for people who r weird and a bit lonely and had a strange interest when they were 12 that led them here. if none of those apply to you like genuinely what is there for you here

i love that shane's whole emotional experience of heated rivalry is just him being like why is he mean to me then nice to me then mean to me then nice to me then really nice to me then really mean to me then nice to me in a way that bewilders & disconcerts me so much it briefly turns me heterosexual. and then he's mean to me again. oh it's because he's scared. yay! i can work with scared. i intend to marry him

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

i know the in universe Shane Hollander Crashout compilations go soooo hard

like . shane smashing his stick to pieces. shane dropping gloves . shane dissociating . shane sped up X2 arguing with a ref for soooo long . shane yelling over the boards . that's MY crashout king

ilya is def jerking it to these btw

it's 2014. everyone is doing the als ice bucket challenge. ilya rozanov is nominated for the ice bucket challenge. in true asshole fashion, once he completes his own video he nominates shane hollander to do the challenge next. shane hollander must complete the ice bucket challenge. he decides to film the challenge after practice, wearing a light gray compression shirt, shorts, and a backwards ball cap, with hayden and jj throwing the water on him. ilya rozanov watches the video, thinking it will be funny. he has never regretted his life choices more as he is forced to witness an already sweaty shane "jock" hollander become drenched in water, shirt clinging to his body even more, head shaking off the excess water with a grin, staring at the camera like he just knew ilya would be watching. it is like something out of ilya's - literally - wet dreams. he downloads the video to his phone. he makes another very large donation to the als association.