goodnight, travel well

​Kinsey scale for whether you’re more cloth or wire

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

As a transsexual woman 👩 who has had multiple experiences ‼️ I have found 🔎 that the biggest block of cheese 🧀 is usually the one ☝️ that has the largest size 📈

mature content

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

and for the lady, perhaps a fking break?

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

a scene must be included PRIOR to sex where the characters READ their birth certificates OUT LOUD so the reader will know they were born on the SAME DATE to avoid any disgusting AGE GAPS

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

the crazy thing about this is that it took one single word to turn it horny. coulda been a normal cute post. coulda taken the high road & conjured a delightful image of a mouse scampering down the bar with a beer ten times its size balanced on its head. but you had to say "mousegirl" and not "mouse." don't pretend this isn't what's going on either i know the score i know what's up. i'm familiar with this sort of semantic trick. you want to fuck down on an anime girl with certain characteristics of a rodent and everyone's gotta know.

reading about the participation of children in rituals as a form of play in ancient greece and came across an incredibly charming story from julius pollux's onomasticon where a flood prevented the adults from reaching a sanctuary to sacrifice a ram to heracles, and the children solved the problem by....sticking a bunch of sticks in an apple to give it "legs" and "horns" and offering it as a sacrifice instead. it's such a charming thought and i can perfectly picture kids these days also pretending at sacrificing an apple "goat" at recess

we must try to find some small joy in this life because it is actually all we have

since "cage" is a last name and there are girls named "chastity" it would be theoretically be possible for a girl to be named chastity cage

Wake up babe new Austin Powers girl just dropped

Nonbinary people are so cool I wish our rights were taken seriously haha

Genuinely though it is so frustrating that nonbinary rights and exorsexism are not treated seriously at all, even from within the queer community. It sucks that there's not even an option for an X gender marker in so many countries, including in more progressive queer-friendly ones. It sucks that if enben want to get gender affirming care that we're advised to lie about our gender (or lack thereof) in favour of a more binary trans identity lest we jump through a million extra hoops on top of the million already in place for binary trans people to prove we're serious in order to get the care we want/need. It sucks that in most cases we're still forced into some kind of binary and I wish that the issues we deal with were acknowledged more.