the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

I too enjoy hurting and abusing characters in fiction very much but could we not have thought of a word that sounds slightly less stupid than Whump about it.

the detached brutality of all these “women need to have more babies” thinkpieces man

split your body wide open for the stock market

horses cant scratch themselves but humans cant go fast. we support this legandary partnership

agnostic horse: we just dont know where scratch posts come from

like literally there will never be anything funnier than a vampire being like “my life sucks nobody has it as bad as me : (” and they’re literally actively murdering some random dude who was on his way home from his fucking 9-5 or whatever