Cu҉l ͢d̡e ̡Sac̶c Ba̴r͏be͏c͏ue̢

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

this is so fucking relaxing

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS

When you’re too broke to afford a Launchpad

Can you say something about fat people that doesn’t involve the phrase “tummy squish” or any variants thereof. Quickly

I know a couple fat guys and they're good electricians

still being active on tumblr is camp

this post is gonna blow up even more when op deactivates

i'll outlive everything you love

I’m only 28 and it feels a million times better than 23. I can’t wait to see what 30 feels like. Becoming an older woman is filled with internal validation, an inner calm, a recognition of patterns. I am not perfect but I accept myself despite it.

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

saw a post about this earlier but it made me think: tumblr really is the only social media site where I go on and have a good time and then carry on with my day. I know it's completely curated because there are some awful people here but that (the curation) in itself is a privilege of the site. Every other social media site is designed to make you angry for more engagement