AKA "Alfred Pennyworth comes across a young father clearly overwhelmed with his two children. Danny is just doing his best when somebody's grandpa basically strongholds him into brunch." Prompt idea! I feel like there's not a lot of Danny & Alfred content going around... lemme just squeeze in here and fix that.
Danny is way too young to be a father. He knows this, Dan's beady little 8-year-old eyes know this, even Ellie's constant babbling sounds suspiciously like you can't do this, you're basically a child yourself. Or maybe he's just hallucinating from sleep deprivation. He's attending Gotham-U because it was cheap as dirt, didn't look too close at backgrounds (which helped because Danny's school transcript was forged by Tucker), and there were already vigilantes so he could just focus on... everything.
He takes a deep breath and continues to stare at the back of a cereal box, absent-mindedly bouncing Ellie as she says "bear, bear, bear" over and over again.
"-so I'll be Bane for Halloween," Dan says. Which... what. Man, Danny really should've been paying attention.
Dan's thick eyebrows scrunch together in an (adorable) angry glare, looking all too much like Evil Dan. He insists, "Yes, I am."
Danny wants to be just as immature, say nu-uh, you're sure as shit not. Or maybe oh, yeah? Well, who's paying for that? Not me. But he's a father now. He needs to be reasonable. (Nevermind the fact that they've been eating cereal for every breakfast for the last 7 months and Danny hasn't cleaned their run-down apartment in at least 2 weeks. He's trying, okay. It's just... a lot. Too much, he can't do this.)
"Dante. I know you've got the whole doom and gloom vibe going on, but you are not dressing up as a well-known Gotham Rogue and serial killer for Halloween. What the hell, man."
"Should I dress in a leotard and pixie shorts, then?" Dan snarks.
"You can dress however you want as long as it doesn't paint a bright red target on your back, buddy. What's wrong with Robin? Lots of kids dress as Robin." Danny pats Ellie, who's now alternating between baba and bear like her life depends on it. She's getting louder. Danny pats faster and tries squishing her to his chest like a weighted blanket.
"Robin is a stupid child."
"You're a child, Dan-," Ellie practically screams, little body thrashing, repeating bear at a increasing decibel. Danny frantically pats her down and coos to calm her. Dan's arguing louder as Danny murmurs to Ellie, "C'mon, Ellie-belly, what's wrong? Huh? Shh, honey."
"Girl, are you the Riddler? Because you're saying stuff I don't understand and it's making me nervous." Danny tries joking. It falls flat after Ellie starts sobbing and Dan's yanking on Danny's arm. She's screaming, screaming, screaming, and now Dan's yelling over her, yanking at him, his head throbs and his vision blurs. (Oh, Ancients, he's gonna freak the fuck out-)
"Excuse me, young man. Would you like some assistance?"
Danny whips around at the sound of a calm yet firm British voice. An older gentleman in an honest-to-Ancients suit stands unobtrusively at his side. He holds himself like a solider, straight and tall, alluding the aura of I know what the hell I'm doing. A gloved hand is offered.
(Danny will later say it was a lapse in judgement that made him practically sling Ellie at the gentleman like a sack of potatoes. Or maybe just lizard hind-brain trust.)
All he knows is Ellie cuddles up in the old man's arms, patting his whitened stubble, and looks like she wasn't just on her way to a Phantom Wail-level tantrum. The man leans down and speaks quietly to Dan - Danny doesn't even hear it, the sudden absence of Ellie's screaming making his ears ring like tinnitus. But suddenly Dan has a sour expression and releases his death-grip on Danny's pant leg.
(He's magic. He's an Ancient or a God, something, there's no way this man just subdued Baby Evil Dan with words alone. What the hell??)
"Take a moment, lad." The old man-God says. He gently brushes his gloved hand over Ellie's white-blond flyaways like he's done it to a hundred children a million times. Maybe he has. Danny sucks in a breath he didn't realize he was holding, his chest unlocking for the first time in... well, 7 months.
"Thanks. I'm- it's been a lot, recently. My name is Danny, that's Ellie and this is Dante. Who are you?"
The older gentleman's eyes crinkle slightly in a very subdued smile. "I'm sure it has. My name is Alfred Pennyworth. It's a pleasure to meet you." His eyes sweep over the boxes of cereal and canned soup in Danny's cart before he continues, "My grandson is rather fond of Bat-O's as well, but I find a balanced meal is a fine start to the day. Would you join me for brunch? Perhaps I can share some simple breakfast recipes."
Danny stalls, his stranger danger fighting with the instinctual urge to trust the man. (And lay down for a much-needed nap. Who is he to say no to food and a babysitter? Besides, Danny is a Halfa, he could wipe the place with his guy if he tries anything.)
"Um. I don't know," Danny hums.
Surprisingly, the man nods. He probably wouldn't have given up so quickly if he was planning something nefarious, right? He offers Ellie back to him with a simple, "Of course."
And then Ellie's screaming, wailing like Cujo accidentally stepped on her little hand during playtime, and Danny backpedals so hard he's surprised he doesn't eat asphalt.
"Um, actually, brunch would be great! Yeah, thanks!"
(Danny, predictably, nods off during their brunch approximately 3 times before the older man lures him over to "the manor" with a bribe of several parenting books and unused toys. Unofficially, it's the first day he's adopted into the Wayne Family.)