The Semicolonoscopy

if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite

not again

happy almost ten years to my all-time favorite disability post on this braincell forsaken website

Like I just knooooow people are tired of them. Everyone knows without being told that they are having freak sex CONSTANTLY and that they are so in love about it. Like how does it feel to be together for twelve years married for one and you are STILL knocking the walls down every night. Everyone said it HAS to stop at some point and they are WRONG. Second season on the Cens Shane is still coming in routinely with bite marks on the BACK OF HIS SHOULDER and there is only one mathematical explanation for how they got there. Like ohhhh my name is Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov and the only thing I do is win Stanley Cups and have hot freaky athletic people sex with a man who would kill and die for me and I make MILLIONS OF MONEYS while doing it. I know people hate them.

Nobody wants the hotel room next to them on the road. That unfortunate assignment rotates through the entire Centaurs roster and the next day the rest of the team always goes a little easier on the guy who was stuck next to the freaky sex room. Crucially, Hollanov never, ever notice.

I hope July and the second half of this year are gentler on your spirit, kinder to you, good for your growth, and even better than the first half.

EVERYONE get in the tags rn and tell me your favorite cheese

the crazy thing about doctor who is that it really is the best show ever for 30 seconds at a time. you never know when those 30 seconds will be. sometimes they happen multiple times in a single episode and sometimes you wait years and years and years. and the best part is those 30 seconds are surrounded by the worst show ever, which is also doctor who

I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.

I love rebloging. It’s the adult equivalent of showing everyone the cool rock I just found.

remember that guy that had a single auditory hallucination that told him he had a brain tumor and the exact location and then he went to the doctor and it was fucking right

Damn, backwards-baseball-hat-dirt-bag-frat-boy is just as good a look on him as couture.