Welcome to the randomness that is my life

V • O • X

M • A • C • H • I • N • A

Honestly it depends on the god! Each god is different, and therefore there's no set way on learning priesthood because there is no definitive guide on each and every deities method. However, I can tell you how it works for me as someone training under Hermes (and I'll make a longer more in depth guide on my process sometime soon):

Studying:

A lot of researching your deity. Learn their epithets and how to spell/write/say them. Invoking a specific epithet will help you be able to draw on their power through your future tasks from them.

Also, become knowledgeable and understanding of how the ancient Greek themselves worshipped our gods. Particularly Ancient Greek Cults and Ancient Greek Religion should basically be required reading (both of which are available for free in my tiny library!)

Communication:

Constant constant CONSTANT communication with your deity. You'll be training under them personally, so get used to constantly running to them for guidance and tasks. Communication is key, and finding your best method for receiving answers will save you a world of headaches.

Training Tasks:

Tasks are required for training. Ask your deity what it is they'd like your task to be, and they'll provide you with one. Tasks heavily depend on your deity. My first task was delivering a message from a goddess to a potential future devotee because I train under Hermes. However, a task from Aphrodite may involve providing advice to a specific pair of lovers or even required self reflection. A task from Apollo will look different from a task from Hades. A task from Dionysus will look different from a task from Ares.

Shadow Work:

We should all strive to be our greatest selves for our gods, and this is especially true on the path to priesthood. The more we understand ourselves, the clearer things can become spiritually. This isn't a hard requirement! Simply something I personally think is incredibly important.

The path of priesthood is a long and difficult one, and nay seem fun looking in but it's definitely hard work and you should be sure that this is a path you really want to walk (not talking to you specifically but anyone and everyone considering priesthood).

• “the demon that follows me around says you’re cute”

• “I did a tarot reading and it said we should date. I kept shuffling until I pulled The Lovers.”

• “you’re absolutely bewitching”

• “are you my crystal collection… ? because uh you’re really pretty and you rock.”

• “are you using Fae glamour magic or are you actually just that beautiful”

• “I like to call on deities and spirits but you can call me anytime”

Just walk around saying shit like "That's so blizzy. I dig the dharma. Get sippy with it, homeswizzle."

I spent one single year in a private high school, and they had a dress code, and the dress code said t-shirts must be a solid color and have a pocket.

Now i didn't mind solid color t-shirts, but i hated how the shirts with a pocket looked. So after failing to get away with wearing pocketless shirts... I borrowed a sewing machine and made a solid colored t-shirt with a pocket over the belly button like a silly little kangaroo. Facing the principle the next day, i pointed out that the student handbook clearly stated that all t-shirts must have a pocket. I asked him if my shirt had a pocket. I asked him to show me where the rules detailed the location on the shirt that a pocket must be. It was a private school so they simply suspended me for a day (which went on my record) and when i got back the student handbooks had all been reprinted with a sentence added to it specifying that t-shirts must have a breast pocket on the left side of the chest. Being the cause of a whole new student handbook edition gained me a small amount of notoriety, but i was so low on the social totem pole at that school that it didn't do much for me.

The next Monday, i showed up with a t-shirt entirely covered in pockets, front and back. In the principle's office again, I asked him if my shirt had a pocket on the left side of the chest. I asked him to show me where the rules said there must only be one pocket. I was suspended for a day and the next day there was ANOTHER student handbook reprint, and the school threatened to bill my parents the cost of reprinting all the student handbooks if they didn't get me in line. My parents basically laughed at them but asked me to not make them have to fight my school as they were already short on time and money. So i gave up on that and began amusing myself finding neck ties that met the letter of the dress code but pissed off the administration.

I could tell you a couple more things i've done, but i'd rather tell you what my brother did.

To promote recreational reading in The Youth, my younger brother's public high school instituted a 25 minute "free reading period" in the day. Every student had to spend that time reading. You could read anything, you could even read a magazine, but you had to be reading.

My brother thought the whole thing was a stupid way for the school to spend their time, and especially stupid to be applied to him. Our whole family reads excessively -- when i was in high school i was reading, on average, one entire book every day. My brother was more well adjusted than i, so i'd guess he was only reading 3 or four books a week, tho, while i was reading a lot of fiction with a little philosophy and history, he was reading a lot of, like, theoretical physics.

ANYway, he was like, this is stupid for many reasons, i'm going to sit quietly and use this time to catch up on some of my homework. But the teacher he had during that time period didn't like that and made a big deal out of insisting he actually spend the time reading. He was sent to the principles office, where he explained that he did not need extra reading time, cited studies that indicated the "free reading" time would accomplish nothing and was a waste of time for both the administration and the student body, and ended with a reminder that what he WANTED to do was sit quietly and do school work, which any school should be happy about.

The principle said he understood my brother's position, but that he couldn't make exceptions for a single student. As per the instructions to the whole school, it didn't matter what he read, it could even be unpublished writing, but he had to be reading. My brother, already veteran gamer both on a computer and around a table, immediately saw an exploit and seized this mistake (gods, my family really can be the worst lmao).

He asked the principle to put in writing the rules as stated AND that he would not make an exception for a single student. The principle, not understanding the kind of people we are, gave it to him in writing. At which point his fate was sealed.

So the next day my brother came in with a packet of paper he had printed at home. When the time came for "free reading" he took out his packet and began reading. When the teacher came over to make sure he was reading, she was enraged to discover he had a packet of about 25 pages completely full of the repeated letter "a".

"I'm reading it tho" was his response. "This meets the definition of reading" "No it's just a letter, you can't be reading it unless it's words."

The next day he showed up with pages completely filled with "words words words words." He was sent to the principles office "See, those are words," my brother said, "so i must be reading."

"no that's not reading, there's not a single sentence on these pages" The principle must have been stupid, anyone who ever met someone from our family could have seen what would happen the next day, when he showed up with pages full of "These are words in a sentence." over and over

He was again sent to the principles office. The principle discovered that, like a man with a monkey's paw, he could not define reading in a way that met the rules as stated but would prevent my brother's shenanigans. He tried to insist my brother read from a recognized publisher, but my brother pointed out that this was not the rules as given to the rest of the student body, and the principle could not make an exception for a single student. The principle tried to tell him that he was making an exception for him anyway, and my brother told him that unless he was given an exemption from "free reading" time entirely, he would not recognize any rules that violated the written agreement they had. The principle implied my brother would face consequences for this behavior, and my brother implied he would talk to the local paper about being repeatedly harassed for *checked actual notes* following the rules he had been given, all in an effort to prevent my brother from sitting quietly and doing actual schoolwork.

My brother returned to class shortly thereafter with a note from the principle explaining to the teacher that my brother was exempt from "free reading"

anyway, the moral of this story is, when a rule is ridiculous, you can often find a way to make the authority figures look ridiculous for trying to enforce it.

the Roach: Yeah, what were you even doing?

Cardan: um....

*last night*

Jude: Bet you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdQuxw52/

but y'all. the way he said "brutus is an honourable man" - each and every time it changed just a little. it was the full condemnation Shakespeare wanted it to be. it started off slightly mock sincere. barely trying to cover the sarcasm. by the end...it wasn't a threat, it was a promise.

first, focus on the type of energy you want drawn to you--this morning, i was focusing on safety, protection, health.

next, arrange your pills on the nearest (mostly) flat surface to create a sigil; since we can't very well pick and choose our meds, we can't follow the typical sigil-making process that a lot of witches on tumblr use, but we can find an arrangement that calls to us!

finally, repeat your goals (safety, protection, health; safe safe safe) to yourself while focusing on the arranged medications. then all that's left to do is pop 'em! (by which i mean take them however they're meant to be taken 😅)

here's mine from this morning, it's a low pill day so i made do. excuse the low lighting and gatorade symbol, hydration is important! ;)