yes I said yes I will yes

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

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Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing

home goods blocked me

they told me to go Home cause i'm no Goods

WET BEAST WEDNESDAY

one of my favorite wet beast for this wednesday

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

there are only two genders: frog and pig

oh god

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

This is the worst addition to this post

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

anyone in this thread smoke weed

I think that what they are talking about is perfectly clear.

ma'am, I'm going to place you on a brief hold while I look for a reaction image

“You never reply to messages” I am just one person okay I am understaffed

ever since I was a young lad I knew I wanted to be a middle-aged man with an undone tie around his neck who’s having a crisis so he goes to the bathroom to splash water on his face only to look up at himself in the mirror and wonder at the stranger looking back

im so fucking stupid

I like this meme because the stock photos make it seem like the same woman but 10 years older.

#ladies and gentlemen #a showrunner who knows what the fuck he is doing (via @stillscape)