haze

This transition is straight out of a horror movie

You can lie when you name things

STOP saying the otherworldly powers are corrupting my mind godddddd. You literally wish you were us. I mean us. I mean me.

mathematics is a sort of goo/ooze secreted by the human mind when it rubs against the universe

*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*

*covered in blood* I'm literally fine guys. im still funny. Would you like to hear a joke Im going to tell you a joke

haha yeah!!!! I wear my heart on my sleeve!! what you see is what you get!!!!! I insist and insist and insist so that you don't peer closer and glimpse that enormous gooey violent vat of Want bubbling just under the surface longing to show its face

No offense to the horse you rode in on but fuck you.

people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

Sure, boss, I’d still be ya henchman if you was a woim

the hottest women you know are living in extremely concerning conditions

in the club begging strangers for forgiveness and proving incapable of articulating what for when asked

can you do this thing for me pleeeaassse i cant do it (sees you doing it slower and less effectively than me) i can do it actually could you maybe move out of the way

overhearing my neighbor rant on the phone top of his lungs and his friend is saying something in calm voice and he goes NO. NO NUANCE. STOP SAYING NUANCE. MY BOSS NEEDS TO DIE

the ladies call me the subjunctive mood the way I express desire, wishes, uncertainty, doubt and fear

cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"