#ulba

As requested by @karlathewitch :)

Cosmere parents are acquiring a "World's Best Mom/Dad/Parent" mug! In...various ways. Let's see how it goes!

1. Straff: Bought one for himself solely to piss off Elend

Straff: [calmly drinking from a "World's Best Dad" mug] Elend: [choking on his breakfast] Elend: WHAT - what - is that? Straff: You got me a gift. Straff: Or rather, I bought myself a gift with your money since you've never done even a simple thing correct in your lifetime. Straff: I think it suits me. Elend: [too aghast to speak]

2. Evi: Treasures the homemade mug that Adolin & Renarin made her

Adolin: Mom! Mom! Look at what we made you! Renarin [almost inaudible]: Aunt Navani helped with the writing. Evi: Oh wow! It's beautiful--I love it! Evi: If I'm the best mom, it's only because I love you both so much!

3. Dalinar: Has a...complex history with the homemade mug that Adolin & Renarin made him

Dalinar [Oathbringer-era, staring at the chipped mug] Adolin [arms crossed]: We made matching ones for you and mom when we were kids. Dalinar: Yes, I remember... Renarin: I think...I think I brought you wine in it once? Secretly? Dalinar: Yes. Dalinar: Possibly not the best look.

4. Dedelin: Let's just say his mug is...reclaimed

Dedelin: I-I don't think you can take back a "World's Best Dad" mug! Ridger: ...You sold our sister Siri into sex slavery. Fafen: ...And now Vivenna has run away too. Ridger: We're taking the mug.

5. Evanteo: His "World's Best Dad" mug has an asterisk

Evanteo: Sarene! A "World's Best Dad" mug? Thank you! Evanteo: Hold on--"Best" is asterisked and there appears to be a tiny, long, hand-painted note along the bottom... Evanteo: "Best in this context is a subjective and inherently hyperbolic description intended to express the inherent love and admiration of a child for her father and is not intended as an unbiased or binding judgment on the persons herein." Evanteo: ... Evanteo: I love it. It's so you. Sarene: I thought you'd appreciate it.

6. Steris & Wax: Their "World's Best Parents" mug...does not have an asterisk

Steris: Listen, I really think we should add an asterisk! Steris: It is a very sweet sentiment and I will treasure this mug forever, but it's a little bit...inprecise. Wax: Look into the eyes of our children and tell me that the mug needs an asterisk. Steris: ... Max [sincerely]: You ARE the best parents! I swear! Tindwyl: We wuv you! Steris: ... Steris: I...suppose I can let it slide.

7. Lirin & Hesina: Receive a mug from Oroden. Kaladin helped.

Kaladin: You're doing a good job with the painting, Oroden! Oroden: Tanks! Kaladin: Here I am, helping my younger brother make a "World's Best Parents" mug for my parents. Kaladin: And people say I need therapy! Oroden: Terapy! Kaladin: ...Don't you start.

8. Lem & Ulba: Are given a "World's Best Parents" mug by Tress

Lem: A-Are you sure? Ulba: Isn't this too valuable? Tress: I-It's just an old cup that I hand-painted! Lem: Exactly! Ulba: A cup from your collection! Tress: W-Well, you both are the best parents, so... Lem: Well, we love it. Ulba: Of course we do--what parent wouldn't love something so precious that their child made?

9. Gavilar: Has a very nice mug. Embossed. Golden. Classy.

Navani: ...That isn't the "World's Best Dad" mug that Elkohar and Jasnah made for you. Gavilar: The one they made was ugly. Navani: ...They are children. Gavilar: What, and that means *I* have to settle? Gavilar: Be serious, Navani.

10. Kelsier: Is himself surprised by how emotional he feels

Kelsier: "W-World's Best Dad"...? Vin: It's just-- Vin: I wanted to say "thanks" I guess. Kelsier: ... Kelsier: I will drink ALL my metals from this mug! Vin: That doesn't seem practical in battle. Kelsier: ... Kelsier: I just mean that I really like it. Vin: ...I'm glad.

11. The Stormfather: Is mostly confused

Stormfather: [rumbling] What am I supposed to do with a tiny mug? Syl: I don't know--you could fill it with rainwater? Stormfather: ...to what purpose? Syl: It's a gift! You're supposed to just say thanks! Stormfather: ... Stormfather: "World's Best Father and Storm" is a nice sentiment... Syl: Of course it is! All my sentiments are nice.

12. Taravangian: Does not see the irony, truly

For Easter, kids are sometimes given Easter Baskets, which are generally filled with chocolates, other candy, or small toys. If Cosmere families knew about Easter and also celebrated it by giving Easter Baskets, what would those baskets be like?

1. Gavilar: Gives his kids the BIGGEST, most IMPRESSIVE Easter Baskets that the world has ever seen

Gavilar gives them out at an Easter Banquet that "he" (actually Navani) throws so that all the citizens can be impressed.

Elhokar: ...I'm allergic to every item in this basket. Jasnah: I see that our father has once again forgotten that dark chocolate brings up bad memories for me. Gavilar: I'm glad everyone can see what a great dad I am!

2. Navani: Lets the Easter Basket tradition die with Gavilar

It's not that she hates holidays or anything, there are just...factors.

Navani: At a certain point, Jasnah started giving herself Easter Baskets. Navani: And by "a certain point," I mean when she was nine. Navani: Elhokar, meanwhile, said that it was now his job to give his son Easter Baskets, and that it hurt his "royal dignity" to still be given baskets by his mom. Sibling: ...Do you need a hug? You can hug one of my pillars if you want. Navani: I-It's not THAT sad!

3. Lem & Ulba: Give Tress a modest but excellent basket

Tress's parents can't really afford much, but their basket is definitely constructed with love.

Tress: !! Tress: The "basket" is a cup, and it has a bread roll inside! Tress: The bread roll is nearly fresh, too! Tress: I love it!

4. Vin's mom: It's horrifying, frankly [TW: Animal violence]

Let's just say Vin has learned not to reminisce.

Vin: The one time mom gave me a basket, it was filled with dead baby mice. Vin: I don't know where she found so many, really. Vin: Dead Baby Mouse Easter, we called it. Elend: ... Vin: It wasn't the most horrifying part of my childhood.

5. Straff: Makes Elend make his own Easter Basket

And then he criticizes how terrible it is.

Staff: Wow. Chocolate eggs. How original and inspired. Straff: You know, skaa died to make those eggs. Elend: [is 8 years old and now tearing up] Straff: You're so bad at things.

6. Lirin: Gives his kids a "practical" Easter Basket

Lirin just doesn't see the point of a frivolous basket filled with nothing but snacks.

Kaladin: A new scalpel and study materials? Uh, thanks dad. Tien: Wow! A block of uncarved wood, thanks dad! Tien: I can already see the axehound inside!

7. Hesina: Adds actual treats to the basket

She's always like, "Great basket, Lirin! Let's add this stuff too."

Kaladin: Oh! And it's the Spicy Easter Chocolate Bar that all the other kids were talking about! Tien: Spicy chocolate rocks??!! Tien: They're almost too pretty to eat!

8. Steris & Wax: Always go the extra mile

They're good parents and rich, so.

Steris: And can anyone guess this year's Basket Theme? Max: The basket is all scratched up and there are exactly 16 eggs! Max: It's a Survivorism basket, right?? Steris: Very good!

9. Evi: Tries to (mostly) adhere to Alethi Easter traditions

(If Alethkar had Easter, y'know). Dalinar is not involved in the Easter Baskets and does not really know they're happening.

Adolin: Wow! A new Easter hat! Adolin: And what's this? Evi: A sweet chocolate! I know it's not men's food, but I think you can have it today. ;) Adolin: Wow, thanks! Adolin: And I think Renarin is happy too. Renarin: [is five, holding a giant, stuffed crab-rabbit taller than he is] Evi: I love you both so much.

10. Taravangian: Actually gives his grandkids really nice baskets full of treats & toys they will love

Taravangian may be evil, but he sure does love his family.