Cosmere Villains React to the "Cosmere Villains Poll"
Why, hello, bandwagon. I'd love to come aboard! No, but seriously--the fandom is abuzz (?) with @cosmere-polls' poll about the most evil Cosmere villain (link) which is itself based on a much-clowned-upon Dragonsteel poll with the same villain list. But what about the listed villains themselves? What do they think about this poll?
1. Hrathen
Hrathen: ...I was the villain? Hrathen: A man of faith and firm conviction who ultimately died to save a heretic that he loved? The Sorceress: Didn't you help destroy a couple of countries as part of violent religious crusade? Hrathen: ... Hrathen: Does my last-second change of heart mean NOTHING?
2. The Sorceress
Sorceress: ...Excuse me? Sorceress: I placed curses upon, like, 12 people on a backwater planet that nobody cared about. Sorceress: Plus, the curse I put on Hoid was hilarious and should, if anything, count as public service. The Lord Ruler: That's probably why practically no one has voted for you. Sorceress: NO ONE IS VOTING FOR ME?!
3. The Lord Ruler
Lord Ruler: Wow. Okay. Lord Ruler: So when come into godlike power and use it to save your planet to the best of your ability, you make it onto the "most evil villains" poll. Moash: You created a full-on slave society based on eugenics. Lord Ruler: Yeah, because those people were MEAN to me. Moash: You created multiple species of sentient beings who were directly controlled by your will. Lord Ruler: All I'm hearing is "You're a creative." Moash: You used your powers to break people's will! To suppress technology and free speech and free thought! You created a horrible and cruel society of literal ashy darkness! Lord Ruler: I was very good at maintaining stability, yeah. Moash: Storms, I think *I'd* vote for you!
4. Moash
Moash: ... Moash: So, what? "Being mean to Kaladin" gets all the votes, then? Taravangian: There were also a few high profile murders of beloved characters in there. Moash: Every one of whom killed WAY more people than me! Moash: Is it my black Bridge 4 uniform? Does that make me seem evil? Taravangian: ...I'm pretty sure that's not what's driving the votes. Moash: But I worked so hard on it
5. Taravangian
Taravangian: I accept my place in this poll. Taravangian: Is it not the duty of a king to take on evil deeds so that his citizens can be innocent? Taravangian: Yes, I arranged a lot of murders. Yes, I quote-unquote "betrayed" all humans aside from those in my city. Taravangian: I once tried to murder a choir of annoying children or whatever. Taravangian: You're welcome, humanity, for taking on all that crime to save you! Thaidakar: ...How did the attempted child murder thing help? Taravangian: I knew I shouldn't have mentioned that one.
6. Thaidakar
Thaidakar: ... Thaidakar: ... Thaidakar: What exactly is planned for the second half of Stormlight??
7. Sadeas
Sadeas: So, what? Being mean to Dalinar gets a person on this poll, huh? Sadeas: Or is the lives I "threw away" in the bridge crews? Sadeas: Because Dalinar definitely never killed innocents. Sadeas: Was it the Tower betrayal? Sadeas: Because Dalinar definitely never let his allies down. Sadeas: At least I wasn't drunk while my king was getting killed! Raboniel: "I defended Gavilar" might not work on this crowd. Sadeas: (muttering) This whole thing is rigged.
8. Raboniel
Raboniel: From a human perspective, I can understand my place on this poll. Raboniel: I killed humans. I have killed a lot of humans. Singers as well, because we must use their bodies to return. Raboniel: And how dare I try to end this war at any cost and how dare I try to end it by finally winning it? Straff: Oh stop being huffy. No one is voting for you. Raboniel: I would think not. Raboniel: The people yearn for toxic yuri.
9. Straff Venture
Straff: Fascinating, isn't it? Straff: Small evil, personal cruelty, familial abuse, an utter lack of remorse or sympathetic backstory. Straff: That's what's get people riled up, huh? Straff: In the grand scheme of the Cosmere, I'm just small, personal evil that made YOU mad, the sort of cruelty YOU could experience. Straff: Who votes for world-destroying entities when there's a mean dad on the poll, am I right? Hrathen: ...Now I kind of want to vote for you. Straff: Thank you for making my point.
