As requested by @im-bad-at-names-okay :)

Happy Pride Month! If Cosmere characters wanted to "come out," here is how they would do so.

1. Renarin: A series of unsigned letters

Lore drop: I came out via a letter to my parents when I was in high school.

Dalinar: The first note said, "Someone is gay." Dalinar: The second note said, "Someone you know." Dalinar: The third note said, "Someone in your family." Dalinar: The fourth note said, "One of your sons." Dalinar: ... Dalinar: I think I can predict what the fifth note will say.

2. Adolin: Tells people face-to-face

He just figures that telling people in person is the right thing to do.

Adolin: ...So anyway, I like men as well as women. May: Yes. I am aware. Adolin: Y-You are?? Did someone tell you?? May: You stare at a lot of butts. Adolin: ... Adolin: Yeah, okay, that makes sense.

3. Kaladin: The most dramatic moment possible

Think about every time Kaladin let someone know he was Radiant. Now apply that logic to Kaladin coming out.

Kaladin: [Glowing with stormlight, descending slowly from the sky] Kaladin: Romance. Sex. Gender. None of it--none of it--is compulsory, and none of it is for me! Lirin: You literally could have told us this normally at dinner last night. Hesina (elbowing him): Shhhh!

4. Wayne: Casually, conversationally

Wayne drops the lore as if it's no big deal, although he is admittedly a bit anxious the first time (when he tells Wax).

Wax: Listen, Wayne, if you want to be a good man... Wayne: Actually, I'm a girl today. Wax: [processing very quickly] Just today? Wayne: Well, we'll see, I guess. Sometimes it's just for a day. Sometimes it's a girl week. Wax: Noted. Wax: Listen, Wayne, if you want to be a good woman...

5. Rlain: Matter-of-factly

Rlain knows he has to make humans accept him as a person. Sometimes he tells them that he plays cards. Sometimes he tells them that he is gay.

Rlain: I'm Rlain. And this is my boyfriend, Renarin. The Alethi guy who was just talking shit about Singers: Uh... Rlain: Now you know something else about me. Rlain: Namely, I can pull.

6. Shallan: Eventually and with difficulty

Look, Shallan does not like to reveal lore about herself. Sometimes it takes being trapped in a cave in a high storm. Sometimes she makes her alters do it. It's a process.

Shallan (currently huddled with Kaladin in the little nook while the high storm rages outside) Shallan: ....A-And also, I think I have a crush on Jasnah! Shallan: Does that mean I like women??? Kaladin: Even worse, you might have bad taste in women! Shallan: What Kaladin: I shouldn't say my first thought.

7. Sazed: Makes Wax do it

This is always the Sazed-Harmony strategy.

Sazed: [communicating with Wax via his earring] Please tell everyone that my pronouns are now "they/them" so if they could stop using "he" for me, I'd appreciate it. Sazed: I know that there are other things going on, but it has been annoying me for hundreds of years now. Wax: ...You sent a kandra to command me to put in my earring for this...? Couldn't the kandra just do it...? Sazed: You try explaining pronouns to a kandra!

8. Vivenna: Just kinda assumed people knew

The short hair and the sword aren't enough??

Beard: Captain, we've been talking... Beard: And we've come up with a list of just three guys in all of Kholinar who we think MIGHT be worthy of going on a date with you! Vivenna: ...Try again, but with women. Beard: .... Beard: Oh! Vivenna (to herself): How much more obvious could I make it?

9. Jasnah: Writes a truly groundbreaking treatise

Jasnah is not going to bother coming out if it's not also scholarship.

Ethid: Your treatise on asexuality will truly have a lasting effect on scholarship. Jochi: I predict that the undertext referring to your own experiences will promote much speculation in future generations. Jasnah: Thank you, both. Jasnah: ...Glad that relationship was worth something.

10. Nikaro: Tells no one until they all figure it out for themselves

Nikaro can't shake the fear that everyone will leave if they know the truth, groundless as that fear may be.

Akane: Last week you had a boyfriend. Yumi: Correct. Akane: Today you have a girlfriend. Yumi: I do. Akane: Your girlfriend looks quite a bit like my old friend, Nikaro. Yumi: Fancy that. Akane: ... Akane: Congrats on the gender, Painter! Painter: ...It's that easy?

11. Dalinar: Unintentional lore drop

Dalinar is one of Those dads.

And if you feel comfortable, why that one?

Oh man, this is a tough question, my friend! (@cosmereplay)

Can I cheat and give multiple answers?

My most honest answer would be a couple of the lists I have coming up--I'm always very excited about sharing the things I write, but since I write them a few weeks in advance, there's always a long wait before anyone gets to see them. There's a few coming up that I think are really funny, so I'm excited for people to read them!

A second answer would be my "Radiant" post, a parody of "Popular" from Wicked. I thought it was fire, but it did NOT do well. I am still so tickled that the syllables of "Radiant" line up so well with the syllables of "Popular," and I've been really into the song parodies lately.

And my final answer would be the "would you still love me if I was a cremling" one because I do think it's pretty indicative of my sense of humor, which tends toward the decidedly silly.

Yup, it's the Pride month special! That I do...sometimes. Once before. Anyway, the following Stormlight characters, who are at Pride this year, are going to explain why!

[This post contains Wind and Truth Spoilers!]

1. Shallan & Adolin

Shallan: 'Cause we both bi, baby! Adolin: Yes, it's us--the straight-passing bi4bi couple that everyone fears! Shallan: [glances at Adolin, who is wearing the handmade rainbow cape he spent weeks on] Shallan: I don't think anyone will read you as straight, honey. Adolin: Yessss!

2. Kaladin

Kaladin: Me? Honestly, Adolin and Shallan just dragged me here. Kaladin: I guess I'm one of those "straight allies." Adolin: [Frantically waving off Syl, who is approaching Kaladin from behind with her arms full of aromantic- and ace-themed goodies] Adolin (mouthing at Syl): He's not ready yet!

3. Veil & Radiant

Veil: I'm hoping to find a hot woman who doesn't mind dating a system. Veil: And who rides a motorcycle. Veil: Maybe head-to-toe leather. Radiant: And I'm here to make sure that Veil does not crash too hard from disappointment. Veil: ... Radiant: I'm just saying.

4. Renarin & Rlain

Renarin: W-Well, since I have a boyfriend now, it felt like a good year to come to Pride. Rlain: This year, we seem to be brave enough to hold hands. Rlain: Next year--head-to-foot fetish gear? Renarin: T-That WAS the rhythm of amusement, right??

5. Szeth

Szeth: I am here because Nightblood wanted to "learn what gender was and get one." Szeth: We're on gender #9 and counting. Nightblood: Oooh! That table has a lot of gender colors! Go there! Szeth: Double digits beckon. Nightblood: I think I LOVE gender!

6. Jasnah

Jasnah: I hate the framing of that question. Jasnah: What, do I need to present a thesis on my identity in order to earn the right to be here? Jasnah: I am here. I won't put myself in a box to stay.

7. Hoid

Hoid: I am today playing the role of Jasnah's cringe-fail boyfriend, yes. Hoid: But also! Hoid: I HAVE to get every single pride flag. Hoid: ... Hoid: I may or may not have a problem.

8. Moash

Moash: I'm here to punch cops. Moash: What? Do I need another reason?

9. Drehy & Dru

Drehy: Honestly? Yeah, I have a husband 'n' all, but mostly I am here to embrace my destiny as Gay Mentor. Dru: His "I Hug Gay Kids" sign has produced a LOT of tears. Drehy: I just need them to know they're loved.

10. Lift

Lift: Men. Lift: Butts. Lift: Leather. Lift: Need I say more? Wyndle: I-I thought you were gonna be genderfluid or something, mistress!

11. Leshwi

Leshwi: Apparently, the fact that I am a femalen in a malen body garnered me an invitation to this event. Leshwi: And nobody else was strong enough to wear the mile-long Pride Cape. Leshwi: ... Leshwi: I think I am some sort of Pride Goddess among the humans now.

12. Dalinar

If Cosmere characters had access to all of the Cosmere books, they might end up with their own Cosmere blorbos--you know, their special interest character that they're lowkey obsessed with. And if that happened somehow, here is how I think it would go.

1. Moash's blorbo: Kelsier

A guy who was tortured by the nobles on his planet and then turned around to take bloody revenge and never die? Moash would be the embodiment that one meme: "Friendship canceled with Kaladin. Now Kelsier is my (fictional) best friend."

2. Kelsier's blorbo: Kaladin

Meanwhile, Kelsier can't help but imagining what it would take to corrupt Kaladin, maybe writing 1 to 15 fanfics about that premise.

3. Kaladin's borbo: Tress

Kaladin is enchanted by a world where someone can easily make friends and nobody dies and where when you set out to rescue a loved one, it actually works. He's commissioning fanart of Tress standing there with a smile surrounded by her alive friends. It makes him feel a certain way.

4. Tress's blorbo: Navani

Something about this dangerous scientist doing dangerous experiments really catches Tress's imagination.

5. Navani's borbo: Ranette

This gruff, weapons-creating, antisocial lesbian really captured Navani's heart. With Ranette being a relatively minor character, Navani is almost single-handedly keeping the Ranette fandom alive, writing endless meta and appreciation posts.

6. Ranette's blorbo: Captain Azure

Ranette is instantly obsessed with the ultra-cool Captain Azure. She likes to draw her with guns. Sometimes gun-swords. Sometimes with gun-swords and a girlfriend. Ranette loves Warbreaker just because it's Captain Azure's origin story.

7. Vivenna's blorbo: Szeth

Something about this sad, violent, wet cat of a man instantly lodges in Vivenna's brain. He's so competent. Yet so pathetic. Yet so tortured. Yet so dramatic.

8. Szeth's blorbo: Silence

Sometimes Szeth likes to imagine being in a world with only three simple rules. A world where if you kill people, they can in fact still kill you back. A world where the Evil is, like, clearly labeled. And in such a world, Szeth likes to think about Silence, who is tough and no-nonsense and loves her strange, traumatized child.

9. Silence's blorbo: Vin

Silence likes to think that her daughters could be like Vin: so overwhelmingly powerful and competent as to meet any challenge, and so loved by their found family.

10. Vin's blorbo: Shallan

Vin is just endlessly fascinated by Shallan, this woman who is so different from Vin herself and yet also feels strangely familiar.

11. Shallan's blorbo: Nikaro

Nikaro has it all for Shallan. He's an artist. He's good at art. He has something gender going on. He's overdramatic. He's just a little bit pathetic. He does a body swap. Shallan is instantly obsessed.

12. Nikaro's blorbo: Spook

Spook, well... Well, he's just inherently cool, right? Nikaro thinks so. He fights while wearing a blindfold. He burned so much metal he became a savant--incredibly powerful and always in pain. He's lonely. He (almost literally) can't be understood by most people. He walked into a fire. His name is Spook.

An important question was raised by @foiazoli in this post: namely, who should be genderbent in the live action Mistborn movie that has been announced? Well, I've thought about this deeply and carefully and I have what I believe is THE definitive answer for each character.

1. Hammond: Yes

Sanderson has said that he wishes he made Ham a woman. I would be shocked if Ham is not a woman in the movie, tbh. And I support Sanderson in this.

2. Dockson: Yes

What's better than Ham and Dockson lowkey hating each other? Them lowkey hating each other in a toxic yuri way.

3. Elend: Yes

Elend and Vin have a delicious forbidden romance. But what if they had a delicious forbidden lesbian romance? What if Elend became the Last Empress and still wore that white military uniform? Imagine.

4. Kelsier: Yes

This would be a bold and refreshing choice, plus she could be the older butch mass murderer of our dreams.

5. Marsh: Yes

I mean, in the books Marsh & Kelsier have a brotherly rivalry and a shared heterosexual love interest. Surely it is time to see their sisterly rivalry and their shared lesbian love interest. Plus, the movies should show the gender equality that surely exists among the Inquisitor's ranks.

6. Spook: Yes

I would be more invested in Spook's sad longing for Vin if it were in a gay way. Plus, I think Spook is a cool name for a woman.

7. Breeze: Yes

In his heart, Breeze is a wine aunt. It is her destiny.

8. Sazed: Yes

What? Bald women are hot. I'm not a saint.

9. The Lord Ruler: Yes

What? Evil women are hot. I'm not a saint.

10. Clubs: No

Bubble bath technology has arrived on Roshar!

1. Adolin

There are scented candles. The bath bomb he used turned the water lavender in both color and scent. He has a glass of wine. The lights are low. Adolin is so relaxed he feels that he is turning into liquid himself.

2. Sadeas

There are scented candles. The bath bomb he used turned the water orange in both color and scent. He has a glass of wine. The lights are low. Yet despite being so relaxed, Sadeas can't help but feel that something about this situation is...wrong.

3. Navani

With her hair pinned up and her glasses on, Navani is sitting in the warm, bubbly water and reading a book. She’s using a heating fabrial to keep the water warm, so it is technically research.

4. Dalinar

Dalinar always believed that a good, cold plunge was better than sitting idly in a bath. But... This heating fabrial of Navani's sure does make it feel luxurious... Is he turning into a bath guy?

5. Baby Gavinor

He has toy boats and is solemnly enacting a naval battle. Already one boat has been sunk to the depths. Gavinor splashes his fingers to represent the drowning sailors. Also there are bubbles. Gavinor doesn't seem to notice those, really.

6. Lift

As a child, Lift was always convinced that a bath monster would come out of the drain and eat her toes. This was because her mother would slide a hand under the water, grab her toes, and yell, "I'm the Bath Drain Monster!" while Lift shrieked with laughter. Now bubble baths make her a little sad.

7. Kaladin

The bathtub is too small for Kaladin. He is sitting with his knees up out of the water wondering if baths are supposed to be this boring.

8. Rock

The bathtub is too small for Rock. He’s used to it. He keeps splashing water over his chest and knees to keep them warm. “I’m the soup now,” he says to himself and chuckles. That joke never gets old.

9. Lopen

Lopen is giving himself a huge bubble hat and a huge bubble beard. Rua is losing his MIND laughing.

10. Jasnah

The water is hot, the bubbles luxurious. Jasnah is lying all the way down with her eyes closed. There is classical music playing. Pure luxury.

11. Elhokar

Elhokar once tried bathing in aerated yellow wine because it sounded luxurious. It was not luxurious. It was more sticky than anything else. Elhokar has been a little bit suspicious of baths since then.

12. Hoid

As requested by anon. :)

It's so mysterious that all of their favorite words appear to be English words... Well, best not think too hard about it.

1. Taravangian

Taravangian: My favorite word is "hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia," meaning "the fear of long words." Taravangian: Such a beautiful representation of how fear is contained merely within the thing itself. Adrotagia: ...I've known you long enough to know that that's always been your favorite word, and that your reason has always been "because it's funny." Taravangian: Lol, yeah. Taravangian: Whoever invented that word was such a jerk.

2. Siri

Siri: I've always liked "kerfuffle." Siri: I know it means "disturbance." Siri: But it sounds like such a nice word. "Kerfuffle." Like it's fluffy trouble.  Susebron: Imagine if we had a pet cat... And its name was Kerfluffle... Siri: Brilliant! 

3. Design

Design: My favorite word is "one-hundred-thousand-eight-hundred-and-fifty-three." Design: Not only is it prime, but it also happens to be the exact number of hair follicles on my head! Nikaro (cautiously): Isn't that a...number? Design: In word form, yeah!

4. Lift

Lift: Callipygian. :) Wyndle: ... Lift: :) Wyndle: .... Lift: It :) means :) having :) a :) beautiful :) butt. :) Wyndle: ... Lift: :)

5. Tress

Tress: I can never decide between "wanderlust" and "nostalgia"! Tress: They are both such pretty words! Charlie: And so thematic. Tress: How so?

6. Pattern

Pattern: Mmmm.... I like "petrichor:" the smell of stone after rain! Pattern: A word that's all hard edges and firm stops, exactly like a smell isn't! Pattern: Mmmm....a delicious verbal lie!

7. Nale

Nale: I am sure that everyone expects my favorite word to be "law" or some such thing. Nale: But no. Nale: My favorite word is "facetious." Nale: All of the vowels are in order. Nale: And that is neat. Szeth: ... Nale: I have layers.

8. Steris

Steris: I have a least favorite word, actually. Steris: Palindrome. Steris: How could they make a word that means "the same forwards and backwards" and have it NOT be a palindrome itself?? Steris: That's why I prefer my own word that means "the same backwards and forwards:" palinilap. Steris: Palinilap. Steris: Rolls right off the tongue.

9. Sarene

Sarene: I'll have to go with the word "no." Sarene: Because the ability to set boundaries and be your own person? Sarene: That's surely the most important thing.

10. Jasnah

Jasnah: Palimpsest. Jasnah: I appreciate the literal meaning--a document where the original words have been scraped off and new words written over them, but where the original writings may still be faintly detected. Jasnah: And the philosophical one--something whose full truth can only be determined by working your way down through the many layers.

11. Hoid

Hoid: My favorite word is "plethora." Hoid: It just...means a lot to me. Jasnah: Divorce. Hoid: W-We're not even married!!

12. Kaladin

There was a post I saw talking about how Achilles of Iliad fame would not survive sending one polite email, despite being good at, you know, war and stuff. It got me wondering: Would Cosmere characters succeed if they had to Send Email?

1. Steris: Yes

Steris is a master of email. She's cutting down her enemies with "per my last email" and "just to make sure we're all on the same page" and she knows how to use both CC and BCC.

2. Vin: No

Vin is leaping out the window at the first sign of email.

3. Kelsier: In a way

Kelsier signs off every email with "Smiles :)" which is terrifying, given some of the emails he writes.

4. Marsh: Yes

Marsh doesn't think that Kelsier writes good emails. Marsh, however, feels that he writes very good emails. Most of which contain the word "however."

5. Lezian: No

Much like Achilles in the post I saw, Lezian would die if he had to send one (1) polite email.

6. Sadeas: Yes

Sadeas has one of those fancy email signatures that says "Torol Sadeas" with green lettering in a cursive font. Adolin has always been secretly jealous of it.

7. Dalinar: No

Dalinar strikes me as one of those people who are incapable of answering more than one question in an email, who when asked, "Would you like to have the meeting Tuesday or Wednesday," simply respond "Yes."

8. Marasi: Moreso than she thinks

Marasi is always having a friend read over her email for her to make sure it's okay, but she's actually very good at email and probably doesn't need to do that.

9. Vivenna: Less so than she thinks

Vivenna writes emails that are politic but incisive...and never once has she been understood properly. Greg from IT still hasn't forgiven her for that email she sent a year ago that Vivenna thought was pretty charming.

10. Jasnah: Yes

Jasnah's emails are long, polished, and perfectly grammatical, and her eye only twitches a little bit when she gets "yeag" in response.

11. Lightsong: Yes but also no

Lightsong's emails are great! But of course, it's actually Llarimar writing them according to his "interpretation" of what Lightsong says.

12. Shallan: Yes but also no

Shallan was taught Proper Email Technique as part of her education. But also she saw that "Your timesheets are now three days overdue" email...and then she ceased to see it, and now she's busy designing Adoliin a new email signature that's way better than Sadeas's and uh maybe Radiant needs to take over again.

13. Adolin: No

The worst turn-based combat, in Adolin's opinion, is email. Why can he not simply duel Maurice from Accounting with swords?

14. Sarene: Yes

Sarene's favorite turn-based combat is email. Because she always wins.

15. Raoden: Yes but it's not his favorite

Raoden would much rather pick up the phone or stop by your office, but he can do email if he needs to. It's just much better to talk in person, you know?

16. Fort: No

His emails keep getting flagged as spam. If he didn't put "Great Deal!!!" as his subject every time maybe it would be different.

17. Yumi: No

It's not that she writes bad emails exactly, but she definitely overwrites them. Her intro paragraph is always like five lines long, and her conclusion turns "best wishes" into like nine sentences.

18. Rlain: Yes

Rlain is unfailingly polite in emails, even when he is responding to one that was...less than polite.

19. Sazed: Yes

Sazed's emails are meticulous and well-written, and he can always cite the exact policy he needs.

20. Renarin: It's mixed