#therapy helps

You’re looking for reasons to run. You’re playing back all the bad things.

Do us a favor. Go back and just for 10 minutes, focus on the good parts. Focus on how it felt when it started.

The excitement to see them. The disappointment when you didn’t. The surprise when they showed up unexpectedly. The alone time together. The conversations. How vulnerable they trusted you to be around you. How much they lit up when they saw you. The little flutter in your stomach.

After that 10 minutes, we want you to write down what you want to say to them, that you didn’t have the courage at the time to say. Not just the angry and hurt parts. The happy parts you don’t want to admit to because you were hurt. What you want from them in order to keep going. Think if they would be willing to do it if you just communicate with them and give them the chance to see what you’re really thinking. (You can even do it on here if you feel comfortable!)

Now read what you wrote.

Thinking back…was that mistake really worth running away from?

Did they, beyond that, take the effort to make you feel like like you could comfortably be yourself? Did they try to do better when you brought up a concern, even if they stumbled and broke the illusion of perfection? Did they bring theirs up to you, and did you truly listen like you expected to be heard? Did they hold anything against you, or did you just expect them to and have a bit of panic when they didn’t, because you just “KNOW” they have to do so eventually? Did they show that you were loved by trying to improve? Did they include what you wanted into their future, even if it wasn’t exactly what they wanted or exactly what you wanted? Did they try to compromise on some things? Did they still stick by you when you said something that they were disappointed about, but altered their view a bit to include your wants, needs, and desires?

If you doubt yourself, that’s ok. Doubts happen. Just remember they may not be your past, but running from them could be running from your future. They’re not the ones who came before, but they could be the one who shows that the ones who came before were the problem, and you ran because you expected them to be the same.

So im thinking like with his military background, he wouldve been surrounded by homophobia and all that, and even though personally he's never cared about how other people express themselves, it sortof imprinted in his mind that being queer was wrong.

We know it's not the case for everyone and body dysmorphia can be hard but yesterday we had a group of women (all cis btw) fronting and they decided to take our He/Him pin with them when they whent out bc (and I quote:) "We may be women but the body is a trans man and I think I'd feel weird responding to fem pronouns"

When people talk about therapy, there’s often an assumption that it’s a place where you “release” your inner demons—where you purge all your pain, trauma, and darkness so you can walk away lighter, healed, and whole. But the truth is, therapy isn’t just about letting things out; it’s about learning how to live with them. It’s about creating a space where your demons don’t consume you. It’s about containment, understanding, and, ultimately, control.

The Myth of Purging Pain

Many people go into therapy with the expectation that if they just talk enough—if they cry enough, vent enough, or spill enough of their deepest fears—they’ll eventually “get rid” of the things haunting them. And while speaking about your struggles is an essential part of healing, therapy isn’t a magic exorcism where pain disappears on command.

In reality, the goal of therapy isn’t to erase your past or banish every intrusive thought. Instead, it’s about developing tools to manage them. Your demons—whether they take the form of anxiety, depression, trauma, or self-doubt—don’t necessarily leave. But they don’t have to run your life either.

Containment vs. Suppression

There’s a key difference between containing your demons and suppressing them. Suppression is pushing things down, pretending they don’t exist, numbing yourself, or avoiding the things that trigger discomfort. It’s like locking a monster in a cage and refusing to acknowledge it—until one day, the cage bursts open, and it wreaks havoc.

Containment, on the other hand, is about creating a structure that allows you to acknowledge your pain without letting it take over. It’s about understanding that the monsters in your mind don’t have to be your enemies. They can become something you live alongside rather than something you constantly fight against.

Therapy as a Guide, Not a Cure

Therapy doesn’t cure you. It teaches you how to navigate. A good therapist won’t promise to erase your pain but will help you reframe it, making it something you can carry without breaking under its weight.

Therapy might teach you that:

• Your fears don’t define you.

• Your past doesn’t have to control your future.

• Your struggles are part of your story but not the whole book.

• You have more power over your thoughts and emotions than you realize.

The goal is to ensure that, even when the darkness creeps in, you know how to keep the lights on.

The Strength in Holding On

There’s something profoundly courageous about facing your demons rather than running from them. It takes resilience to sit with discomfort, to work through pain rather than pretend it doesn’t exist. And while therapy might not make your demons disappear, it will teach you how to make peace with them.

At the end of the day, therapy isn’t about opening the floodgates and hoping your demons wash away. It’s about learning how to build a dam strong enough to withstand them—one that allows you to keep living, growing, and thriving, no matter what’s lurking in the depths.

Oh, little one, I'm so sorry for what you're going through!

I'm glad that you feel like I am a safe space to share this, but I want to warn you that I am not a therapist or mental health professional. So, take any advice from me for what it is--advice from a stranger on the Internet.

That said, no matter what your Daddy is going through, it is never acceptable for him to take his emotions out on you. It sounds like you know better than most that we all have struggles. It's not okay to use our own trials and tribulations to add to those of another.

That doesn't mean that he doesn't need help though. Please don't keep your frustration with him from him.

I am a huge believer in therapy after I was convinced to do it by my own friendly Internet stranger.

It sounds to me like your Daddy (and probably you too, little one), could benefit from having someone outside of your relationship to help handle everything you're going through.

Talk to your partner and let them know that what they are doing is not acceptable. But, also, let them know you care about them, and would like to see them get help with handling these big emotions.

Finally, and most importantly, make sure you are keeping yourself safe. Emotional abuse is a real and harmful thing. It can transition to physical abuse. I've seen it happen.

Remember, loving your partner does not mean you have to accept abuse. Your number one priority should be protecting yourself.

You're not a bad little or partner for calling out abuse.

You're not a bad little or partner for leaving an abuse situation.

You are a person who deserves love without abuse or qualification.

it's mental awareness month, my fury friends! please take note that seeking professional help isn't a sign of weakness but a significant step towards healing :-)