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i want to be reliant on you, i crave codependency—please turn to me when you’re upset with thoughts you can’t put elsewhere. tell me everything. let me take care of you. i promise to do the same.
sorry, i might disappear from time to time but so does my will to live
something so embarrassing about avpd is getting little 'friendship crushes' on people. why is my heart clenching because someone liked my post? why am i so nervous to interact with you? why am i so eager to see what you post online despite talking once or twice? why can i not respond to anything you say to me out of panic? it is so embarrassing, i feel like a middle-schooler having a playground crush and scribbling messy valentines that will never be delivered.
Idk man just idk its like scary and also embarrassing man idk <- guy with the Always Scared And Embarrassed disorder
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
sorry for ignoring you i actually wanted u believe it or not
Something that is extremely important to remember if you're pursuing healing from an insecure attachment style, is that secure individuals still get upset and still have needs.
They aren't magically okay with everything. Its still uncomfortable when they have to be vulnerable and its still distressing when they have to be away from loved ones.
But, what outlines them as secure is their ability to call back to core beliefs that are foundationally related to trust. They choose to believe that they are safe, and whilst doubts may still appear, that choice is what they act upon. They are able to communicate respectfully and openly as well as exit a situation if it isn't working out for them.
That doesnt mean those things aren't uncomfortable, or that they dont hurt. Everything can be painful at times; humans are a deeply feeling species. Its about how we deal with the pain that defines our relationships and security.
Don't try to push down your emotions or thoughts to achieve an ideal as that will send you deeper into unhealthiness, just in a different form. You should accept your experiences and work with them the way you would work with a scared child. Don't give in, don't ignore. Prove to them that its safe.
Its also important to be realistic and patient. Don't force yourself to spill your entire life story all in one go if you're already feeling burnt out and exposed, and dont punish yourself for being anxious or jealous. Just take small steps and focus on the positive. It isnt about the feelings, its about the actions.
so i’ve decided that everyone hates me and i need to die immediately.
