#quantum physics

professor!rafe who gets a little dorky when he’s excited about a concept, talking a bit faster, hands moving slightly as he explains, like he forgets he’s supposed to be “professional” for a second.

professor!rafe who makes random comments like “apple is honestly a disgrace to computer science” while opening his lenovo laptop, and the entire class laughs while he just looks up like “what? you all know i’m right.”

professor!rafe who isn’t really on social media. like at all, aside from occasionally updating his linkedin for his phd progress, but will casually mention going to a ballet or a play over the weekend like it’s the most normal thing ever.

professor!rafe who always has his hair slicked back just enough, glasses sitting low on his nose when he’s reading something closely, pushing them back up absentmindedly with his knuckle.

professor!rafe who somehow always has a faint smudge of marker or chalk near his jaw or chin, or even on this shirts from getting too close to the board, completely unaware of it.

professor!rafe who wears those stupidly cute short sleeve button downs, sometimes with tiny embroidered equations on the pocket, paired with slacks like he’s not accidentally distracting you.

professor!rafe who carries that same brown leather briefcase everywhere, filled with neatly organized notes, his laptop, and printed lesson plans, like his entire life depends on it. 

professor!rafe who says your name so naturally when calling on you, “ms. yln, what did you get for this?” and it shouldn’t make you feel anything, but you name on his lips, just does.

professor!rafe who notices effort more than anything, giving small nods of approval when you answer correctly, or saying, “that’s a really good way to think about it,” and you’re thinking about that for the rest of the day.

professor!rafe who once leaned slightly closer to your desk to check your work and said, “you’re picking this up really quickly,” and you had to actively focus on not forgetting how to think.

professor!rafe who compliments you in the most innocent, and appropriate ways possible. like “your perfume smells really nice today. i think my sister wears the same one” and you’re smiling while telling yourself, ‘that’s not what i wanted but i’ll take it’.

professor!rafe who started off, completely unaware of the effect he has, just treating you like a dedicated student, while you’re sitting in the front row every day, a little more put together than necessary, just waiting for him to notice it.

professor!rafe who takes his role super seriously. always keeping things respectful and professional, never letting anything blur. but there’s this warmth in the way he speaks to you that feels a little different. 

professor!rafe who looks at you like he’s trying to understand how you think, not just what you know, and somehow that feels more intimate than anything else. because he’s picking apart your brain where your ex’s want your body first. 

professor!rafe who has no idea you’ve checked his left hand more than once, just in case.

professor!rafe who leaves you wondering what it would actually take for him to look at you as anything more than his student ms. y/l/n, even just for only a second. 

professor!rafe who writes out full solutions before class in his notebook, but still works through them again on the board just in case someone needs to see the process twice, muttering softly to himself like “okay, let’s not skip steps here”

professor!rafe who always brings an extra pen or pencil and, without making it a big deal, and will slide it onto your desk if he notices you forgot one. “you can keep it,” like it was already accounted for. professor!rafe who gets slightly thrown off when the class laughs at something he didn’t mean to be funny, pausing mid sentence like “well that wasn’t intended as humor,” but there’s a small smile tugging at his lips anyway.

professor!rafe who has a habit of tapping the board lightly with his marker when he’s thinking, staring at the equation for a second before going, “okay, there’s a cleaner way to approach this,” and rewriting it completely.

professor!rafe who grades assignments with actual feedback instead of just numbers. putting small notes in the margins like “good approach here” or “i see what you were going for, come see me and we’ll walk through it together.”

professor!rafe who stays a few minutes after class every single time, even when no one asks questions, just in case someone wants to but feels awkward speaking up in front of everyone.

professor!rafe who lowkey gets excited when someone challenges his explanation, not defensive at all, just like, “wait, okay, that’s a good point,” and will literally work through it with them.

professor!rafe who drinks a black coffee he definitely forgot about halfway through class, taking a sip, pausing, then quietly going, “that’s definitely been sitting there for a while,” and setting it back down like nothing happened. 

professor!rafe who carries himself very well, but occasionally forgets the smallest things, like leaving the cap off his marker or misplacing his notes for two seconds before finding them exactly where he put them.

professor!rafe who pushes his sleeves up absentmindedly when he’s deep into explaining something, revealing his forearms without even realizing you’ve completely stopped paying attention to anything but his arms. 

professor!rafe who softens his tone without realizing it when speaking directly to you, like there’s a slight difference that only you would pick up on, but then doubt yourself because you want it to be different. 

professor!rafe who remembers your academic strengths specifically, “you’re usually really good with this type of problem, what part is throwing you off?” and it feels a little too personal in the best way. 

professor!rafe who once caught you already looking at him when he turned from the board, and paused for a second. just long enough to clock it, before continuing like nothing happened.

professor!rafe who organizes his entire lecture timeline down to the minute, but will completely abandon it if the class needs more time. “we’ll adjust, understanding this is more important than finishing everything.”

professor!rafe who quietly gets proud when the class starts improving, like you can see it in the way he nods more, or says “yeah, exactly.” 

professor!rafe who would be genuinely surprised if he ever found out you had a crush on him, because in his mind, he’s just doing his job. 

professor!rafe who then starts noticing you nearly at the end of the semester, gradually. in the way your gaze lingers a second too long when he’s explaining something, how you’re always already looking at him when he turns from the board. at first he tells himself it’s nothing, just attentiveness, but then it keeps happening. 

professor!rafe who realizes you stay behind after class more often than anyone else. not asking questions right away, just packing your bag a little slower, glancing up like you’re waiting for him to say something first. and it makes him pause sometimes, hands resting on the desk, debating whether to break the silence. 

professor!rafe who catches on that you come to office hours more than necessary. not in a concerning way, because you’re one of his best students, but your questions are weird? things you already understand, just worded differently. and he answers every time, but there’s a voice in the back of his mind like, ‘you don’t actually need help with this?’

professor!rafe who hates that he notices the smaller things now too. like the way you always come in put together, rather the consistency of it. your hair done, your outfits always nice, the faint scent of your perfume when he leans slightly closer to check your work. he doesn’t linger on it but he notices more than he should.

professor!rafe who has to actively redirect himself sometimes when he feels your eyes on him for too long. clearing his throat turning back to the board, having to reminding himself ‘this is not appropriate. she is your student.’ but it’s harder than he expected it to be.

professor!rafe who starts keeping interactions just a touch more structured once he becomes aware. nothing too obvious, just slightly more careful with his tone, or his distance because the last thing he wants is to blur a line he can’t fix later. but you noticed anyway. 

professor!rafe who still can’t deny the thought that slips in sometimes. ‘she’s beautiful.’ he’ll tell himself. and he shuts it down immediately every time, because it’s something he keeps not allowing himself to fall into. 

professor!rafe who sees you that same night outside campus wit the rain coming down hard. he’s halfway to his car when he spots you at the bus stop, with no umbrella, shoulders slightly hunched, trying to shield your bag from the water. and he stops. because he could keep walking. ‘it’s not appropriate. it’s late. she’ll be fine. someone else will-’ but then you move your bag closer to your chest, trying to keep it dry, and that’s it. decision made.

professor!rafe who mentally curses at himself for jogging back towards you. his umbrella tilted forward to block the rain, slightly out of breath when he reaches you. “hello, ms. y/l/n,” he says, voice a little louder over the hard noise of the rain. you look up, surprised. “oh! hi mr. cameron.” he thinks for a second, like he’s choosing his words carefully. “you can- um, you can call me rafe,” he says, almost hesitant. then quickly, “outside of class, i mean.” professor!rafe who gestures lightly toward the street, rain still pouring. “can i offer you a ride home?” he asks, and it sounds casual, but there’s a layer of concern under it he doesn’t bother hiding. you blink, trying to keep your voice normal, but you’re more excited than you show. “are you sure? i don’t want to be an inconvenience.” he shakes his head immediately. “no, not at all. i just- i couldn’t leave you out here like this,” he says, glancing at your bag. “especially with your work getting soaked.”

professor!rafe who walks you to his car with the umbrella angled more toward you than himself, shoulder slightly damp because he’s not paying attention to where the rain’s hitting him, more focused on keeping you from getting further wet. 

professor!rafe who doesn’t even react when you apologize for getting his seat wet, just shaking his head like it genuinely doesn’t matter. “it’s fine. it’ll dry,” he says simply, already starting the car.

professor!rafe who relaxes a little during the drive, conversation coming easier than it ever has in class. talking about small things, from coffee shops, places near the shore, his phd progress, and it feels so normal, to the point where he questions how comfortable it is. 

professor!rafe who notices the way you look at him when he’s focused on the road, and every time he glances over and catches you, you both look away with small, almost embarrassed smiles like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t.

professor!rafe who involuntarily flexes his hand, like he's silently restraining himself.

professor!rafe who realizes, fuck, somewhere between conversation and quiet moments, that, this, this right here is exactly why he kept his distance before. because it would be so easy to let it become something more, and that’s exactly what makes it dangerous, but i don’t think he really cares anymore.