#quantum jumping

You can't not shift.

Science says you're in your DR right now.

When you understand the principles of quantum physics, such as, superposition, you finally understand once more, that shifting is not a "journey", is a choice of awareness.

In quantum physics, a particle exists as a wave function in all possible states and locations simultaneously until theyre observed. This means the version of you who is in your DR, waking up with your desired life, is already here as a probability wave, occupying the same space as you.

The problem is,if you keep focusing your observation (awareness), on your CR , youre collapsing the wave function into this specific reality every single second. Shifting literally means changing the observer

You focus so powerfully on ur DR probability that the quantum field has no choice but to collapse that possibility into a physical fact for you.

If u truly understand superposition, you stop sayin "Im trying to shift." Because "trying" implies that the reality isn't here yet.

The logic is, "I am the sum of all my possibilities across the universe. Right now, I am tuned into this radio station aka CR, but the other station, DR isn't in another room, its playing right here on a different frequency.

The observer bends the matter.

shifting science/physics/roots/proof/everything you need to know a must read

hi i made this after researching for months it helped me alot and i really hope help those who are like me (autistic) who must have proof to believe something .this going to be alot so strap in.

also my english is not my first language i made sure to not make any mistake but if i did please point it out

If you spend any time in shifting communities online, you've heard it. The same accusation, over and over, from skeptics who have never tried, never meditated, never sat in silence long enough to feel their own body disappear

"The void state isn't real. Shifting is just lucid dreaming. Everyone who claims they've shifted is either lying or delusional." 

 It sounds confident. It soundes scientific .it sounds like the final word from someone who knows.

Except for one problem. 

The same "void state" that shifters describe today  pure awareness, no body, no thoughts, just consciousness floating in infinite stillness  has been documented, practiced, and perfected for over five thousand years. By monks who never used TikTok. By sages who never scrolled through Reddit. By mystics in India, China, Egypt, Tibet, and the Middle East who had no way to communicate with each other, and yet came to the exact same conclusion.

Either every single one of them was lying too... or the void state is one of the most real, most verified, most consistently reported phenomena in human history.

Part One: What Even Is the Void State??

Before we go back in time , let’s get clear on what we’re talking about today.

In modern shifting terminology, the void state is a deep meditative state where:

You remain fully conscious, but lose all awareness of your phisical body 

Your eyes are closed, relaxed, with no urge to open them

A floating sensation

Feeling of being pure consciousness without a form 

Visualization becomes effortless

When shifters reach the void state, they report being able to set intentions for their Desired Reality (DR) with incredible ease. Some shift directly from the void. Others use it to manifest specific changes in their Current Reality (CR).

The void state is not sleep. It's not a dream. It's not unconsciousness. It's what remains when everything else falls away ; when the body goes numb, the inner monologue goes silent, and all that's left is awareness itself.

Now. let me show you where else this exact state appears.

Part Two: The Upanishads ;The Original Void Shifters (800-200 BCE)

The Upanishads are ancient Indian philosophical texts. Written in Sanskrit roughly 2,500 years ago, they represent some of the oldest and deepest explorations of human consciousness ever recorded. 

There are about 108 Upanishads total, with 10-13 considered major. But their core message is simple enough to fit in one sentence, even if its implications take lifetimes to understand:

Your individual consciousness is not separate from universal consciousness .

The book's central question is deceptively simple , what is consciousness and what are its states? From this question it builds one of the most radical and precise maps of human awareness ever written.

It begins by identifying four states of consciousness that every human being moves through. The first is ordinary waking life the external world experienced through the five senses. In shifting language this is the CR, the current reality. The second is the dream state where consciousness turns inward and generates its own complete reality from within. This is where most shifting attempts begin, in that threshold between waking and sleep where the transition sensations arise. The third is deep dreamless sleep where all individual experience dissolves into formless rest.

The fourth state is where the Mandukya becomes extraordinary. Called Turiya, meaning simply the fourth, it is described as the background awareness that underlies and contains all three other states. It has no inside or outside. No boundary between self and everything else. It cannot be described in words because language itself belongs to the other three states.

What makes this directly relevant to shifting is what the Mandukya says about the relationship between waking and dreaming reality. It argues that the CR and the DR are fundamentally equal in nature. Both are experiences arising within the same consciousness. Neither is more ultimately real than the other. The world you experience as solid and external is at its deepest level as constructed by consciousness as any dream. This is not a metaphor or a comfort it is the central philosophical argument of the entire text.

The book also maps the four states onto the sacred sound AUM. The A corresponds to waking, the U to dreaming, the M to deep sleep, and the silence after the sound to Turiya. By following AUM inward through its three phases and resting in the silence that remains, the practitioner moves through the states of consciousness deliberately from CR awareness through the dream threshold and into something deeper. Shifters who use AUM as part of their practice before scripting and visualization are doing something the Mandukya described thousands of years ago.

The A sound anchors you in waking awareness ; where you are right now

The U sound carries you into the dream state ; the internal world of sleep

The M sound dissolves into deep formlessness ; dreamless , unconscious rest

Then you rest in the silence after  that silence is Turiya ; the beyond waking, beyond dreaming, beyond deep sleep 

Sounds familiar ??

And the most famous line from the Upanishads? Tat tvam asi. "You are that." Your consciousness an universal consciousness are the same thing. Which means every reality you could ever want to shift to? Already within you. Always has been.

 Perhaps the most important insight for anyone who shifts is the Mandukya's insistence that Turiya is not somewhere you travel to. It is the background awareness already present beneath every experience. The CR and the DR both arise within it. This means the access point between realities is not far away or difficult to reach  it is the ground of awareness itself, always already available, requiring not effort but recognition.

Part Three: The Yoga Vasishtha — Parallel Realities, Confirmed (750 BCE approx.)

If the Upanishads describe the state, the Yoga Vasishtha describes the cosmology that makes shifting possible.

One passage from this ancient text has stuck with me since I first read it. I'm going to quote it at length, because it deserves to be seen in full:

"O Rama, in the past there have been millions of Brahmas, Sivas, Indras, and Narayanas. However, even the creations of these gods were but the jugglery of Maya... In some universes Brahma is the supreme deity, in others it is the Sun, Indra, Narayana, or Shiva. In some universes the earth is filled with trees, in others with people or with mountains. Somewhere the earth is of mud or clay, elsewhere it is rocky or golden or coppery. One may count the rays of the sun; but it is impossible to count the number of universes that exist."

Let me translate that into shifting terminology.

Universes with different supreme deities : realities with diffrent fundamental rules

Earth made of gold or copper : level 4 universes (diffrent physics, different materials , different laws)

Impossible to count the number of universes : infinite drs .every possible reality exists.

The text goes even further, describing what sounds exactly like a shifting experience :

   "I decided to enter into samadhi again. I silenced the mind and the senses. I merged in the infinite consciousness. I saw reflected in that consciousness the image of countless universes. I was able to go anywhere and to see everything... Some were coming into being, others were perishing... There were different elements in each; they were inhabited by different types of beings... some had other universes within them; in some there were creatures you would not believe possible to exist."

 Samadhi is the practice of merging with consciousness itself — the void state. And from that state, the observer witnesses infinite realities. Sound like shifting? That's because it is shifting. Just with ancient Sanskrit vocabulary. 

Part Four: The Bhagavad Gita — Detach From the Ego

The Bhagavad Gita (part of the larger Mahabharata epic, dated around 500-200 BCE) is often read as a spiritual conversation between Prince Arjuna and the god Krishna. But underneath the divine dialogue is a practical manual for consciousness shifting. 

The Gita teaches : 

Detachment from identity : you are not the “self” you think you are .

Detachment from outcomes : act without clinging to results .

The ego is not real : what you call “I” is temporary and constructed .

Why is this relevant to shifting? Because shifting requires letting go of your CR identity. If you believe you are only your CR self  your body, your history, your problems then leaving that reality feels impossible. But when you understand, as the Gita teaches, that your ego is just a temporary costume, suddenly moving to a DR becomes not only possible but natural.

Part Five: The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali — When the Mind Stops

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (compiled around 400 CE) is a collection of 196 aphorisms that systematically map the terrain of human consciousness.

The most famous line is the second sutra:

   Yoga chitta vritti nirodha : "Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind."

When the fluctuations stop, when the endless chattering inner monologue finally quiets down, what remains? According to Patanjali: pure awareness without disturbance.

Thats it thats the void state.described in two thousand year old sanskrit in four words.

The Yoga Sutras go on to describe the stages of meditative absorption (samadhi), where the meditator loses awareness of their body, then loses awareness of their thoughts, then loses awareness of the distinction between "self" and "object of meditation," until only pure consciousness remains.

Every shifting method that involves meditation? Every guided void state track on YouTube? Every technique that tells you to "let go of your body and focus only on your intention"? You can trace its lineage directly back to texts like the Yoga Sutras.

Part Six: Tibetan Buddhism  The Clear Light and the Book of the Dead

Tibetan Buddhism offers perhaps the most detailed map of the void state, particularly in the Tibetan Book of the Dead (Bardo Thodol).

According to this text, immediately after death, every being enters a state called the Clear Light (Ösel). In this state:

There is no body 

No thoughts

No physical world,infinite

Just awareness ,empty, yet aware

Sounds familiar ?

The Tibetan Book of the Dead explains that if you recognize this state, stay calm, and do not react with fear, you achieve liberation. You see reality as it truly is. But if you panic which most people do, because ego dissolution is terrifying when you're not prepared you fall back into form, identity, and illusion. Back into the physical world. 

Shifters describe this exact dynamic. How many times have you read: "I felt myself detaching from my body, my thoughts went silent, the world dissolved, and then I got scared and snapped back"? That's the Tibetan Clear Light meeting an unprepared consciousness.

The Tibetan tradition doesn't just describe the state — it teaches how to enter it consciously, through advanced meditation practices. And the instruction that appears again and again is this: Do not fear it. Do not react. The moment you do, you lose it.

Part seven : The CIA Gateway Report ; Consciousness as Hologram

Now we jump forward to 1983. A United States Army Lieutenant Colonel named Wayne M. McDonnell submits a classified report to his commanders at Fort Meade. His task: analyze the "Gateway Experience"  a training program developed by the Monroe Institute designed to induce out-of-body states through brain hemisphere synchronization (Hemi-Sync).

McDonnell spent months researching quantum mechanics, biomedical engineering, and theoretical physics. His conclusion?

Human consciousness is not confined to the brain. It is a holographic field that can transcend time, space, and physical reality.

The report, declassified in 2003, describes:

The universe as an “ extraordinarily complex system of energy fields”

Matter as an illusion ; solid objects are actually oscillating energy grids 

Human consciousness as a function of energy interaction 

The brain as a hologram that attunes to the universal hologram of reality 

Out of body states as achievable through focused coherance of brainwave output 

One of the most striking sections describes what happens when the body enters profound relaxation: the heartbeat creates a standing resonance wave at approximately 7-7.5 cycles per second. This resonance propagates into the earth's ionospheric cavity, effectively turning the human body into a coherent oscillator vibrating in harmony with the planet's electromagnetic field.

In that state, the report says, "the seat of consciousness" can move outside the physical body. The boundaries between self and environment dissolve.

Thats the void state 

Part eight: The Holographic Universe — Pribram and Bohm

The Gateway report draws heavily on two scientists: Karl Pribram, a neuroscientist at Stanford University, and David Bohm, a physicist at the University of London.

Their theories, working together, form a complete model of how shifting could be scientifically possible.

Bohm's physics: The universe is not made of separate particles. It is a single, undivided whole  an "implicate order"  where everything is connected and everything contains everything else. What we see as separate objects (including separate realities) are just projections from this deeper, unified field.

Pribram's neuroscience: The brain does not store memories in specific locations. Instead, it processes information holographically  meaning every piece of memory is distributed across the whole brain. A small fragment of brain tissue contains the pattern of the whole memory, just like a small piece of holographic film contains the whole image.

Put together: The brain is a hologram. The universe is a hologram. And the two attune to each other through energy exchange. Consciousness is not produced by the brain the brain receives consciousness like a radio receives signals.

When shifters say "I'm not shifting my body, I'm shifting my awareness," they are describing Pribram and Bohm's model in colloquial language.

Part Thirteen: Neville Goddard ; Facts Overflow the World

In the mid-20th century, a mystic named Neville Goddard (1905-1972) taught a simple, radical idea: Imagination creates reality.

Not metaphorically .literally .

Neville taught that the world you experience is an outpicturing of your inner assumptions. Change your assumptions really change them, not just intellectually but at the level of felt sensation and your reality must change to match.

In one of his lectures, "Facts Overflow the World," Neville describes his own shifting experiences. He talks about being in a parallel world that felt as real and tangible as this one. He describes visiting a reality where he could meet people who were dead in his main reality. He even talks about a world where he could stop time.

These are not metaphors for Neville. These are direct reports of shifting.                                                           

Neville's method is almost identical to the void state: relax into a drowsy, meditative state (he called it "state akin to sleep" or SATS), lose awareness of your physical body, then visualize your desired scene with sensory vividness. Fall asleep in that feeling.

Every shifter today using SATS? You're practicing Neville's method. And Neville was drawing from the same ancient well as the Upanishads, Taoism, and Tibetan Buddhism.

Part Fourteen: The Scientific Evidence Is Catching Up

Now we have scientific papers on : 

The holographic principle ; the universe might be a two dimensional information structure projected as 3d reality .

Non local consciousness; studies on remote viewing, telepathy, and near-death experiences suggest awareness is not bound to the brain .

Meditation induced altered states; fMRI studies show experienced meditators can voluntarily shut down the default mode network (the brain's "self" center), producing ego dissolution and non-dual awareness.

That default mode network shutdown? That's the neurological correlate of the void state. When your brain stops generating the "me" narrative, what's left is pure awareness no body, no thoughts, no identity. Just consciousness.

The science is not there yet to fully explain shifting. But the direction of evidence is unmistakable: consciousness is not what we thought it was.

Part Fifteen: Skeptics Will Say...

I know what the skeptics are thinking. I used to think it too.

"It's just lucid dreaming." Then why are the physiological markers different? Lucid dreaming occurs during REM sleep. The void state occurs while the body is awake but deeply relaxed.

"It's just dissociation." Dissociation is a trauma response, often distressing. The void state is chosen, calm, and often blissful.

"There's no scientific evidence." There's no scientific disproof either. And the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, especially when thousands of years of documentation exist.

"It's mass delusion." Delusions don't replicate across 5,000 years, across 12 different cultures with no contact, across languages that never borrowed from each other.

The simplest explanation is also the most radical: the void state is real. Shifting is real. And every mystical tradition on Earth has been telling us this since before writing was invented.

Part Sixteen: Why This Matters for Your Shifting Practice

If you've read this far, you're not here for philosophy. You want to shift.

Here's what all this ancient and modern knowledge means for your actual practice:

1. The void state is not something you create. It's something you uncover. You don't build emptiness. You remove everything that's in the way — thoughts, tension, identity, effort. What's left is already there.

2. You don't need a "method." The Upanishads didn't have shifting methods. The Taoists didn't have guided meditations on YouTube. They had intention, relaxation, and letting go. That's still all you need.

3. Fear is the only real obstacle. The Tibetan Book of the Dead says it. The Gateway report implies it. The shifters confirm it. The moment you panic at the feeling of ego dissolution, you snap back. Learn to stay calm in the void. Trust the process.

4. Your DR is not "out there." The Yoga Vasishtha says all universes exist within consciousness. Neville says imagination creates reality. Bohm says the universe is an undivided whole. Your DR is not a separate place you have to travel to. It's a frequency you tune into.

Conclusion: The Oldest Truth in the World

Here's what I've learned from months of research, across ancient texts and modern documents, across quantum physics and CIA reports, across shifting communities and mystical traditions:

The void state is not new. Shifting is not new. The understanding that consciousness creates reality is not new.

What's new is the language. We say "CR" instead of "Maya." We say "DR" instead of "loka" or "realm." We say "void state" instead of "Turiya" or "Clear Light" or "Fana" or "Nun" or "the Cloud of Unknowing."

But the experience is identical. And it has been reported, practiced, and perfected by human beings for over five thousand years.

So when a skeptic tells you shifting isn't real, you can smile and thank them for their concern. And then you can get back to practice  because you know something they don't.

Not because you're special. Not because you're delusional. But because you've done the research. You've read the texts. You've sat in the silence.

And you know, in the same way the Upanishadic sages knew, the same way the Taoist masters knew, the same way the Tibetan Buddhists knew, the same way Neville Goddard knew, the same way the CIA analysts concluded:

You are not your body. You are not your thoughts. You are not your CR identity. You are pure awareness, infinite and formless, capable of experiencing any reality you can imagine.

The void has always been there. It will always be there. It is your natural state. Your original face before you were born. The kingdom of God within you.

All you have to do is stop. Breathe. Let go.

And remember.

Tat tvam asi.

You are that.

Credits

Primary research sources 

Ancient hindu Texts :

The Upanishads (circa 800-200 BCE) – specifically the Mandukya Upanishad, Chandogya Upanishad, and Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

The Yoga Vasishtha (circa 750 BCE - 500 CE) – Sthiti Prakaranam (Section 4), Utpatti Prakaranam (Section 3), Nirvana Prakaranam (Section 6)

The Bhagavad Gita (circa 500-200 BCE) – part of the Mahabharata

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (circa 400 CE)

The Bhagavata Purana (circa 800-1000 CE) – specifically verses 10.87.41 and 6.16.37

Taoist Texts : 

Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu (circa 4th century BCE)

Zhuangzi by Zhuang Zhou (circa 4th-3rd century BCE)

Buddhist Texts : 

The Tibetan Book of the Dead (Bardo Thodol) – traditionally attributed to Padmasambhava (circa 8th century CE)

The Heart Sutra (Prajñāpāramitā Hṛdaya)

The Diamond Sutra (Vajracchedikā Prajñāpāramitā Sūtra)

The Lankavatara Sutra

The Platform Sutra by Huineng (8th century CE)

The Gateless Gate (Wumenguan) by Wumen Huikai (1228 CE)

Modern sources  : 

Neville Goddard (1905-1972) : 

Lecture: "Facts Overflow the World"

The State Akin to Sleep (SATS) technique

Various lectures on imagination and consciousness

The CIA Gateway Report (1983):

Title: "Analysis and Assessment of Gateway Process"

Author: Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M. McDonnell

Declassified: 2003

Document Number: CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5

Shifting community sources : 

Terminology and Frameworks : 

Amino (shifting communities)

TikTok (shifting content creators)

Tumblr (shifting blogs)

you can shift wherever you want. all universes are real and exist, whether you shift there or not, they are still there. shifting your consciousness somewhere reflects nothing toward your character, because you don't have one single character.

adding on with specifics: shifting to a reality that has you with a different race isn't bad. it already exists and is true, you are not "creating" anything. you are not swapping your race, because you do not have a fixed race. you are ALL realities. you are everything, all at once.

shifting is effortless... but do you know what that really means???‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚⊹

i saw you roll your eyes just now and almost scroll and i get it. mommy not mad at you. this isn't gonna be your average, "you can shift without doing anything. i shift just by blinking. now move along," post. (they're right, but i'm not even gonna touch on shifting instantly just through intention. yes it's possible, yes people do it. yes you can do it. that's not what this is about.) i actually find methods extremely helpful and will encourage anyone to try a method. not to stringently follow some random method from tiktok that they hate and make themselves uncomfortable by laying immobile for hours. but to play around with the parts of different methods they like to make one that works for them. hrrtshape's anti-method went multi-platinum in my bedroom. i am a method enthusiast

we've essentially been conditioned to think that if something doesn't work, we need to try harder. dedicate hours each day to practicing, failing, trying again, exerting all the energy we have to work toward our goals. feels like everyone's shifting journey is turning into the montage song from south park these days. but like.... why would you need to work harder at.... letting go?? if you're trying to tighten your grip on something to loosen your grip on it, you're stagnant. trying so hard to forget something is the most obnoxious reminder of all. that's why you're stuck. immovable object vs. unstoppable force, basically. hustle culture is so bad it's literally making people think they need to work harder at relaxing.

you need to let go. not in the sense that you need to stop caring about shifting or your dr. stop micromanaging every single part of your method and checking to see if you've shifted. it's literally antithetical to your goal.. which is to 1. detach from your cr, and 2. become aware of your dr. your method's purpose is to guide your awareness away from your cr and to your dr. how can you expect that to happen if you keep bringing your attention back to your cr? the goal is not to perfectly execute a method & follow every step without a single mistake. you're not baking a soufflé, take off that apron. you're aiming for detachment from ego, and that can happen completely on accident (this is coming from the PROFESSIONAL accidental shifter, btw. i've played these games before. (i have literally accidentally shifted to squid game.. that's how serious i am about all this. #laur-gyu mentioned but at what cost????))

some of you seem to think that falling asleep while doing your method is worse than continually stopping your method just to confirm to yourself that it hasn't worked. but what is sleep if not the most effortless detachment? that's why sleep methods exist !! a proven effective way to shift > actively preventing the shift by — get this — shifting your awareness back to your cr. that's what checking is. shifting awareness isn't just being here and then being at hogwarts. it's an inescapable part of daily life. guess what? you're breathing manually now (so sorry). just shifted awareness to your breathing. in like 5 minutes you'll forget, and then you won't be aware of it. and that's how easy detaching is, too. you literally just stop bringing your attention to it, and then you detach. can you see the connection between this and your shifting method? every time you bring your attention back to your breathing, it makes it harder to go back to automatic breathing. you're not gonna do it by.. not manually breathing.. harder? same thing with shifting.

You can shift whenever you want!

You can shift just because you’re hungry and there’s no food at home that you like

You can shift just because you’re sad here, and you just finished crying and want to get out of your mess

You can shift just because you’re angry, because this reality is pissing you off so much you should just leave elsewhere

You can shift just because you’re extremely bored, you could be doing so many fun things in any other reality

You can shift just because you realized that you can. It’s called using your free will.

You can shift just because there’s no school tomorrow, so you can do whatever you want and it can be the craziest shit ever bc ure in ur DR

You can shift just because there IS school tomorrow, and you don’t want to sit in class all day at the place you most hate.

You can shift just because there is nothing else to do

You can shift just because you miss your DR

You can shift just because you hate the bitches on here. Tonight I shifted because I was so pissed at the empathy-deprived scumbags on Reddit fucking assholes

You can shift just because you CAN!!!

You can shift because you CAN!!!

You can shift, you CAN!!!

constantly, i see shifters getting angry when i say that you don’t need effort to shift. well, sorry hun, i’m about to burst your bubble once more…shifting requires no effort. none. nada. non.

“ so why does it feel like I need effort, Jade?

because you’re sitting here thinking that question. it feels like you need effort because you have now made that assumption and you’re continuing to make that assumption…

── get angry or not, i will continue to say that shifting is effortless. there is a law in my brain that says it requires no effort. that’s why i drift off to another awareness the minute i say i’ve shifted.

what makes you think you’re any different?

consistently telling yourself to put in effort & that you need it is very exhausting i’m sure. the only thing that requires effort is scripting. . . i haven’t scripted in god knows how long. i hate scripting. i don’t script. so, with that being said, if that’s the only thing that requires effort, why are you saying you’re struggling to shift?

stop feeling sorry for yourself. if you keep blocking yourself from shifting because you believe there’s an earning to it, then you’re just gonna continue to not shift. you’re making effort a law…stop assuming effort. assume you’re there for once.

Woke up to my alarm before my rem cycle around at 5:35am and, after a while, laid down trying to monitor my thoughts as I drifted back to sleep. This helped me keep a notch of awareness in my dream so it was easier to become lucid. After a while in the dream I realized and immediately got to business. I remember recalling my plan of action out loud(become lucid, wake up in SP, dont engage in anything, detach from cr, use smell touch sound to feel dr, drink water asap to ground) because I tend to lose the plot when in hypnopompia. I said out loud “don’t let me down!” Before intending to wake up in sleep paralysis by falling backwards which always works

Once I woke up my whole body was buzzing per usual. Ive been practicing astral projection earlier this month so when in this state I realize my astral body always slowly slides out of my physical to the right on its own I literally wasnt even trying to do that. I was face down on the side of my bed and stayed still while trying to be calm as I repeated “I’m not a body, I’m not an identity. I am I am I am” etc to get into my void (or detach from my cr identity so it’d be easier to anchor in my dr.)

I’m not sure how long it went on for or if I reached it or not. I remember I didn’t facilitate any type of sensation like smell, touch, sound but I did randomly start asking myself “why am I (dr name)?” (default why affirming) like OVER AND OVER. Then all of a sudden my body was buzzing again. I didn’t physically feel any type of switch or morphing but I strangely just wasn’t face down anymore. I was just THERE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS I WAS JUST LAYING ON MY SIDE AND I COULD FEEL MY S/OS HAND AROUND MY WAIST AND HIS YK AGAINST MY BACK I WAS BARELY CONSCIOUS I DIDNT OPEN MY EYES I COULD BARELY PROCESS ANYTHING IN THE MOMENT BUT THERE WAS WARMTH. THERE WAS SOLIDITY. THERE WAS A DIFFERENCE. IT DID NOT LAST LONG AT ALL AND I FELL ASLEEP BUT IT WAS REAL ITS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE YOU JUST KNOW.

(I had a random dream about being an actress in a random sapphic age gap movie I only recall this because I remember saying that i’m in an age gap lesbian film to someone else in the dream.) When I woke up I didn’t remember any of this for a second then I went “HOLD ON” & it all came back to me. I am literally doing this exact process play by play every single day by day until I’m able to fully anchor I don’t care how long it takes I finally know what works for me