#drewsbby

babydaddy!rafe who went from late nights at the country club, drunk and reckless, to being the one making sure you were okay every second of the day. and he cleaned himself up for you, not overnight, and nothing near perfect but enough that you could see the difference, feel the effort, and truly just trust him. 

babydaddy!rafe who goes to every appointment, even the small ones, sitting there a little stiff and nervous but never missing a thing, making sure the baby is healthy and growing.

babydaddy!rafe who makes sure you’re always comfortable, always taken care of, buying anything and everything you need to make sure you don’t ever feel an ounce of pain or stress, like it’s non negotiable. so when you wake up with morning sickness, he’s always at your side holding your hair back, rubbing small circles on your back “there you go baby, let it all out” he says with that morning voice, you always go weak for. and you never know how he can always be there even for the grosser moments, but you never question him, cause in his mind, taking care of you is not optional, it’s just what he does. 

babydaddy!rafe who never lets you go hungry, always showing up with food before you even realize you need it. “you gotta eat my love, for her.”

babydaddy!rafe who rests his hand on your stomach all the time when you’re pregnant, like he needs to feel her there, needs the reminder that this is real. even in public, every slither of a chance he gets, his hands find your stomach, and he’s proud of it, like he wants everyone to see.

babydaddy!rafe who talks to your belly when he thinks you’re asleep, low voice, softer than anyone’s ever heard it. “hey baby, daddy’s right here.”

babydaddy!rafe who buys everything for the baby before she’s even here, overpreparing like crazy but acting like it’s no big deal. “just making sure she’s good.”

babydaddy!rafe who absolutely is infatuated with when your bump starts showing, eyes on you like yeah, that’s my family.

babydaddy!rafe who doesn’t just see you as “baby momma” he hates that term for you, actually. in his head, you’ve always been more. 

babydaddy!rafe who understands that you’re not scared of commitment, you’re scared of ending up like your parents, and it softens him every time he thinks about it. he reassures you without forcing it, “you’re not them… you’re gonna be the best mom, you hear me?” and maybe the advice was more for him than it was for you.

babydaddy!rafe who doesn’t let himself think about ward. he doesn’t allow himself to have negative thoughts about if he’ll be like him, because he knows he’ll be a better father than he ever was, he’ll show your kids what real parental love is. 

babydaddy!rafe who lets your friends sarah, kie, cleo, come by whenever you want, but always catches them at the door first, always asking them to keep your emotions at bay. “don’t stress her out, yeah? she’s been anxious.” he doesn’t realize you hear that sometimes, and it makes your chest ache a little, in a good way

babydaddy!rafe who works his ass off at cameron developments, longer hours, more focus, because he refuses to let you or your daughter ever worry about money. And tells you straight up, “you don’t gotta work ever again, if you don’t want to,” but never takes your independence away, just wants you safe, and to know he’s got you. 

babydaddy!rafe who keeps that ring tucked away, still waiting, and hoping, even after the baby comes.

Babydaddy!rafe who after you decided on the name ‘aurora’, already gave her the nickname ‘ro’ calling her nothing but that.

babydaddy!rafe who is obsessed over your daughter, ro, the second she’s born, holding her like she’s the most fragile, important thing in the world, like she’s everything he’s ever done right.

babydaddy!rafe who looks at you differently after you have his child, like there’s this deeper respect for you, a deeper appreciation for being able to grow and create one of the most precious things in the world to him.

babydaddy!rafe who won’t let just anyone hold her, hovering close, watching every movement like he’s ready to step in if needed.

babydaddy!rafe who keeps one hand on you and one on the baby when you’re all together, like he needs to be connected to both of you at all times. 

babydaddy!rafe who refuses to let you do late night shifts with ro. and complains when he catches you with her, telling you you need your sleep. but when he’s there he’s always pacing the room with her against his chest, whispering to calm her down when she’s crying 

babydaddy!rafe who doesn’t just want to be your baby daddy, he wants to be your husband, wants to be your family, your forever. because when he thinks of his endgame, it always involved you, and he’s patient enough to wait for you to believe in that too.

babydaddy!rafe who’s mid convo with you on the beach, half focused on helping ro with her sandcastle, when she quietly goes “dada” and he just freezes. like fully pauses, looks at you, then back at her. “huh?” he leans closer, brows furrowed, like he needs confirmation. “say that again, ro.” and when she does? yeah he’s a mess.

babydaddy!rafe who lets out this disbelieving laugh, shaking his head like he didn’t expect it to hit him that hard, already scooping her up into his arms without even thinking. spinning her around, laughing, a little overwhelmed, a little emotional, not even trying to hide it. “you hear her? you hear that?” looking at you like this is the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

babydaddy!rafe who keeps repeating “she said dada” under his breath like he’s trying to process it, pressing kisses all over her face, completely gone.

babydaddy!rafe who loves getting pictures from your girls days when she’s older, bubble teas, shopping bags, aurora smiling in your arms, staring at them longer than he’d ever admit. looking at those pictures and thinking, that’s my whole world right there.babydaddy!rafe who is obsessed with being a girl dad, like completely letting ro paint his nails, sitting there patiently while she concentrates, wiggling his fingers after like, “how’s it look, baby?”

babydaddy!rafe who learned how to cook for you and ro, not just basic stuff either, actual high level meals, and still insists the best nights are when the two of you are in the kitchen together while ro sits on the counter ‘helping.’

babydaddy!rafe who’s back at the country club all the time again, but it’s different now. just him carrying ro’s bag, watching her practice like it’s the most important job he’s ever had.

babydaddy!rafe who takes her golf so seriously, because to him, she’s the most talented kid on the planet, waking up early with her, running drills, fixing her stance, but always reminding her, “have fun with it, yeah? that’s what matters.”

babydaddy!rafe who gets this proud, almost emotional look watching her compete, especially when she’s out there holding her own against boys twice her size and winning. and cannot shut up when ro becomes one of the first and youngest standout woman golfer in the Outer Banks, telling anyone who’ll listen, “yeah, that’s my daughter.”

babydaddy!rafe who loves how competitive she is, but even more how humble she stays, seeing so much of both of you in her.

babydaddy!rafe who ends up out with topper and kelce one night after a big win, emotions running high, and for the first time in years, he drinks. But he’s messy or reckless anymore, just soft, a little glassy eyed, leaning back in his chair talking about you and ro like they hung the moon. and keeps mumbling sappy shit like, “i don’t even know how i got this lucky. like, that’s my wife, and that’s my kid” shaking his head like he still can’t believe it. and doesn’t even realize topper is recording him, catching every word before sending it straight to you.

babydaddy!rafe who wakes up the next morning slightly embarrassed, but when you bring it up, smiling like that? yeah, he doesn’t even try to deny it.

babydaddy!rafe who has grown closer to Sarah over the years, actually putting in effort, showing up, trying to rebuild something real between them, because he realizes family really is the most important thing in the world. gets more comfortable around John B too, especially with the kids around, like they’ve both matured into something steadier.

babydaddy!rafe who watches ro run around with the other kids, then looks at you, softer than ever, like this is what he was always meant to have.

babydaddy!rafe who still looks at you the same way he did when you were younger, but now there’s no uncertainty in it. just love, pride, and something permanent.

babydaddy!rafe who finally puts that 8ct ring to use and turns into husband!rafe. 

bsf!rafe who gets that quiet, irritated look when people ask if you’re his girlfriend, “nah, just my best friend” but something about it never sits right with him anymore.

bsf!rafe who almost lost it on topper for talking about you like that, stepping in before he could even finish his sentence. “watch your fucking mouth.” he tells topper, inches away from his face, making topper fall back, with his hands up

bsf!rafe who can’t stand seeing you with other guys, and acts off the second you mention a date, going quieter, shorter with his words. “he good enough for you?” but doesn’t know what to call the feeling, he just knows it makes his chest tighten and his mood flip instantly.

bsf!rafe who knows that if he calls, you’ll come, no matter where you are, no matter who you’re with, and there’s something about that that both comforts him and absolutely messes with his head.

bsf!rafe who leans a little too close sometimes, lets his hand linger a second too long, says things that toe the line, but doesn’t want to ruin what you have, but at the same time, the idea of someone else having you? yeah, no that’s not something he can ignore much longer.

bsf!rafe who has a spare key to your place, so he doesn’t knock when he comes over, he just walks in like it’s his place, calling your name until he finds you.

bsf!rafe who has a spot in your room that’s basically his at this point, so whenever you’re with other friends in your apartment they know not to touch or be in ‘rafes spot’

bsf!rafe who steals your food without asking but will absolutely buy you whatever you want five minutes later.

bsf!rafe who will call you for the silliest things like what shirt he should wear or what he should eat, because your opinion just matters the most.

bsf!rafe who lets you mess with his hair, his rings, his watch collection. stuff he wouldn’t let anyone else touch without a second thought.

bsf!rafe who has inside jokes with you that literally no one else understands, and the two of you will be laughing while everyone else is confused.

bsf!rafe who lets you wear his hoodies and never asks for them back knowing you look better in them anyway, even though he’ll complain about it every time. “you’ve got like five of ‘em.”

bsf!rafe who texts you “you busy?” but not for anything serious, just because he’s bored and wants to annoy you. 

bsf!rafe who will defend you instantly, no hesitation, even if he doesn’t fully know what’s going on yet.

bsf!rafe who will absolutely argue with you over the dumbest things, then be over it five minutes later like nothing happened.

bsf!rafe who trusts you with things he doesn’t tell anyone else, even when he doesn’t say it out loud.

bsf!rafe who keeps a photobooth picture of you and him in his wallet that you put in there as a joke one night. and he refuses to take it out because, ‘that’s his girl’ 

bsf!rafe who will sit through things he absolutely hates just because you like them, movies, shopping, whatever, complaining the whole time but never actually thinking of leaving. but when it comes to the victoria secret runs, oh how he wishes he could be in the dressing room with you. 

bsf!rafe who has a different tone when he talks to you compared to everyone else. It’s softer and less guarded, even if he doesn’t realize it.

bsf!rafe who started calling you “princess” as a joke because you were such a spoiled brat, always getting your way, always a little dramatic, but then it just stuck.

bsf!rafe who says it so casually now, like it’s second nature. “relax, princess,” “c’mon, princess,” but there’s never any real malice behind it.

bsf!rafe who lowkey enables it too, even while teasing you about it, rolling his eyes as he hands you what you want anyway. “for the spoiled princess.”

bsf!rafe who’s the only one who can get away with calling you that without it sounding condescending, because coming from him it just feels familiar, and yours.

bsf!rafe who’ll mumble “such a princess” under his breath when you complain about something minor, but there’s a small smirk on his face every time. but would absolutely get angry if anyone else tried to call you that, though. that’s his thing.

bsf!rafe who notices you don’t correct him, and honestly don’t even react to it half the time, and something about that makes him say it more. and he’ll say it when you’re upset too, quieter like, “hey..don’t do that princess,” like it’s his way of grounding you without making it too sentimental.

bsf!rafe who in the end, doesn’t even realize when it started, the way he looks at you, the way he needs you, the way he’s always thinking about you every time, but somewhere along the way, you stopped being just his best friend.

"fuck, yess" you moan, the vibrator on the third level, as you push it in and out of your very wet cunt. all you can think about is rafe, his big biceps holding him up, as he's leaning over you pounding in and out of you. his silver chain dangling in your face, as small droplets of sweat develop on his forehead. 

"you like that?" he asks you as he leans back, bringing your legs up against his chest as his mouth falls open. his eyes dark as they watch you in bliss as your eyes roll back in pleasure. "oh i love it" you respond breathy, and teary eyed. 

each of your moans, sending him closer and closer to his own high. "this pretty pussy is gonna make me cum" he says, and you lift your legs up off his chest, wrapping them around his waist as you pull him down, body flush against yours. you grab his face, placing a kiss on his lips. "cum inside me then" you say against his lips, and that was all he needed before he-

"y/n?" you hear, and you immediately scramble to cover yourself with your blanket your small day dream interruptedly over. "shit" you mutter to yourself, cheeks hot and red of embarrassment, while the one and only rafe is staring right at your blanket covered body with wide eyes. 

“um, what the fuck are you doing?” he asks, but he obviously knows since he stood there long enough to contemplate stopping you, loving the small show you were putting on. you open your mouth, then close it again. “i uh nothing. i was just-”

“nothing?” he repeats, stepping fully inside, shutting the door behind him a little too quickly, out of habit, considering you live alone. your face burns, “rafe, don’t, just forget it, okay? just get out!” you say loudly. but your words are falling on deaf ears. 

his eyes flick down despite you kicking him out, then snap back up to your face. that’s when you notice it. the way his eyes are glossy and almost glazed over with want, the way he’s shifting uncomfortable, like his pants are tight. “you’re using a toy?” he says, almost in disbelief, like that’s the part he’s stuck on. “what?” you asked confused as to why he would even care. you’re just friends you thought, right? “why do you even care?” you ask avoiding his question. 

he lets out a short laugh, shaking his head. “why do i…are you serious right now?” you frown, still clutching the blanket. “i’m serious. why are you here?” 

“i have a key,” he says immediately. “you forgot?” you roll your eyes, irritation cutting through the embarrassment. “yeah, well, i’m regretting that right about now.”  “yeah?” he mutters, stepping closer. “that so?”

“rafe, get out,” you say again, firmer this time, but it only makes things worse. instead of leaving, he walks over and sits on the edge of your bed, like this isn’t the most humiliating moment of your life. your eyes widen as you instinctively back up, heart racing. “what are you doing?” you ask, in a small panic. “you’re kicking me out,” he says,  “but you weren’t exactly shy a second ago.” 

“oh my fucking- shut up” you groan, even more mortified. “can you not?” 

“what?” he tilts his head, watching your reaction. “you think i didn’t see you thrusting your vibrator in and out of that very wet pussy of yours?” the way he asks that, sends a pulse straight down your legs. “y-you weren’t supposed to!” you snap, your grip tightening on the blanket, trying now to let him know how aroused you are for him right now. “yeah,” he mutters, “i got that.”

there’s a pause as he leans forward slightly, forearms resting on his thighs. “that thing,” he says, nodding vaguely, “that’s what you want?” you blink, thrown off. “what are you even talking about?” he drags a hand over his face, like he’s trying to collect himself. “i’m saying, you’re in here, by yourself, when you don’t have to be.” you lightly gasp at that, never in a million years thinking those would be the words coming out of his mouth.

“rafe..” you start, but you don’t even know what you want to say. he leans in just a little closer, close enough to make your heart beat out your chest. “you really think i’d rather you use that instead of me?” your mind goes blank. 

“wh-why would-” you start, but the way his eyes darken at the thought, his tongue licking his lips like he’s devouring you in his mind, makes you lose all train of thought. yet you not answering cretas a filthy suggesting in his own mind, like something just clicked, 

you literally watch it happen in real time, the teasing smirk changing from something seductive to, a lightbulb turning on. “wait,” he says quietly. “no” you cut him off, “you were,” he cuts in, eyes narrowing slightly. “weren’t you?” you shake your head too quickly. “no.” but your voice is so unsure, it answered the question for him. 

a slow breath leaves him as realization settles in. “jesus,” he mutters under his breath, dragging a hand down his face before looking back at you differently now. “you were getting off, thinking about me.” he says, not even as a question anymore. 

you stay silent as the room feels like it’s getting smaller on you. he leans in closer, not touching you yet, but close enough you think he can hear how loud your heart is beating. “that’s why you want me to leave?” he murmurs.

you’ve become so unequivocally shy, you don’t even trust your voice anymore. but in this moment you want rafe so bad, too bad, so you nod. the corner of his mouth twitches up, while he lets a low exhale escape. he draggs a hand through his hair, for the fifthteenth time in shock, like he doesn’t know what to do with this new information, as if he’s not consumed by how much he suddenly wants you. “you have no idea what you just-” he starts, but you cut him off before he can finish.

“just shut up and kiss me already,” you say, your eyes locked on his. his gaze flickers between your eyes and your lips, tension snapping between you. that’s all it takes.

whatever restraint he had left is gone as he closes the distance, one hand coming up to your face, the other bracing against the bed as he pulls you into him. the kiss is everything that’s been building crashing together at once, and suddenly the embarrassment, the awkwardness, all of it fades away. 

“show me what you want me to do to you” he asks against your lips, his hand drops from your face to pull and push away the blanket covering your half naked body. he breaks the kiss to stare you down, as you begin do fully undress, and holy fuck did he love every moment of this. “you have too many clothes on” you smirk looking back at him, as you move closer towards him. he’s so mesmerized by the bounce of your perky plump breasts. “she’s not so shy now is she?” he teases. 

you roll your eyes, as you place light kisses, sucking and nibbling on his neck a little, as you begin to pull his white tee off his body, revealing his beautiful chest. you disconnect from his neck, and watch as his hands shoot up to caress your breasts, each one getting separate attention. 

you mouth fall a little open, a small moan escaping your lips, “fuck you’re too mesmerizing like this” he says to you. you swing your leg over, straddling him, “am i?” you tease. you push his chest so he’s laying flat on your bed, as you press soft kisses against his chest, slowly making your way down, until you reach the waistband on his light colored grey sweatpants. his bulge exposing how turned on he is. you look up at him, his eyes watching every move you make, his head slightly tilting back, already so drunk of lust. 

you hook your finger on the waistband of his sweats pulling it down, his hips slowly raising to help you, and you run your hands over his compressed cock. wanting to tease him as pay back for him walking in on you. you stick your tongue out as you drag your tongue over his cock covered by his boxers. “fuck y/n” he moans “don’t tease me like this” he pleads with you. 

you smirk up at him, enjoying the way his breath hitches as you drag your tongue along the outline of his cock through the thin fabric. his boxers are already damp with precum, and you can feel him twitch under your touch.  

"oh, i think you deserve a little teasing," you mutter against him, your breath hot. your fingers curl under the waistband of his boxers this time, pulling them down just enough to free him. he's thick, cock angry already leaking.

god, is he fucking perfect, just like you imagined it.  

you wet your lips, making sure he watches, before pressing a soft kiss to the tip. his hips jerk involuntarily, and he curses under his breath, his hand tangling in your hair just holding, cause he knows he needs to grab onto something or he’ll absolutely collapse under you. "y/n," he growls, his voice wrecked. "don’t fucking play with me, please" he begs this time. you feel yourself wetter at the sounds of his begging for you. 

but you love playing with him. so you wrap your lips around him, taking him deeper, and he groans, his head falling back. "oh fuck, just like that." his grip tightens slightly, just enough to let you know he’s losing control. 

you glance up through your lashes, watching his jaw tighten as you swirl your tongue around the head of his cock, savoring the way his thighs tremble when you suck lightly. his fingers flex in your hair. "holy fuck," he rasps, his breathing getting heavier through his strangled moans, "you look so fucking pretty like this." 

you hum around him, the vibration pulling another broken moan from his lips. his hips buck slightly, chasing the heat of your mouth, but you pull back just enough to tease, dragging your lips along his length with a slow, wet kiss. "rafe baby" you mumble against his skin, "you taste so good." 

he lets out a sharp breath, his grip tightening just a fraction. "yeah? then stop fucking torturing me and take me all the way." oh boy do you love a challenge.  with a smirk, you sink down, taking him deeper until he hits the back of your throat and his groan is so fucking filthy, echoing in the quiet bedroom. 

"fuck just like that," he grits out, his fingers threading tighter in your hair. "don’t stop." and you don’t. because seeing rafe unravel like this, for you? worth every second of teasing. his breaths keep coming ragged, as you continue to messily take him. your lips warm and wet from the saliva. 

his hand lets go of your hair as he fists the sheets, hips twitching fighting to not roughly fuck your mouth. "you’re gonna kill me," he chokes out, his abs flexing as he watches you with half lidded eyes. you pull off with a wet pop, grinning up at him as you swipe your thumb over the tip, spreading his precum. "thought you wanted to replace my toy, not just watch."  you remind him, sucking your thumb of his precum. 

his nostrils flare, a muscle ticking in his jaw, as he watches you suck your finger. he then pulls you up towards him, before he flips you onto your back, caging you beneath him. his mouth crashes into your, so hungry, tasting himself on your tongue. 

"oh, i’ll replace it," he says against your lips, "but i’m not letting you call the shots anymore." 

and then his hand finally slips between your thighs, and you shutter with a gasp as his warm fingers play with your sensitive clit. “oh yes, rafe’ you softly moan. "say it again," he growls, dragging his fingers through your slick lips. "say my name like that when i’m inside you."  

his smirk is predatory as he hovers over you, the silver chain dangling against your collarbone, the weight of it cool against your heated skin. one hand pins your wrist above your head while the other teases lower, fingertips tracing circles that make your back arch off the mattress. 

“this what you were thinkin’ bout?” he aks against your ear, fingers moving in a faster motion. “me? playing with this pretty pussy like this?” you whimper, nails digging into his shoulder as he adds a second finger, pushing both fingers deep inside, curling them just so fucking right, the way only he would know how. your hips jerk up, chasing the friction, slowing his movements to a torturous pace. 

“nuhuh” he mutters, nipping at your earlobe. “you wanted to teast me right? now i get to play.” he says, his head lowering to your breasts. his mouth engulfing your right nipple, as he flicks his tongue in up and down motions, swirling and nibbling at it. 

his thumb swirls against your clit, and you swear you see stars. “tell me” he demands, face now between your breasts, tone dark with want, need even. “tell me what you were imagining earlier” 

you let out another whimper, annoyed this time as his fingers withdraw completely, leaving you achingly empty. “please” you manage to say. “words princess, use your words” he says, as he gets up, on his knees hovering over your body. quickly fully taking off his boxers, you watch him jerk his own cock, as those ocean eyes lustfully gaze down at you, and you swear the sight alone could make you cum right now. 

he pushes lifts your legs, widening them as he lines his throbbing cock with your cunt. he rubs the tip slowly, against your clit, to your entrance, only letting the smallest amount in, still awaiting your answer. “you wanted me to fuck you?” he asks, his pace getting agonizingly slower the longer you don’t answer. “say it” he says. 

the small stretch burns in such a good way, “yes” you moan out as he no longer cares for the answer, needing you as bad as you need him, sinking his cock deeper into you. your thighs tremble, as he pulls out and repeats the motion, finding a new depth everytime. he pauses for a second, like he heard your answer delayed, so engulfed in the fact that he’s really about to fuck his best friend. “yeah?” he questions. and you glare up at him. “yes rafe, fuck me. i want you to fuck me so hard i can’t walk after.” you say, an attitude appearing. 

his grin is wicked. "since you asked so nicely." he teases, kissing your ankle that’s up by his head, as he fully thrusts into you, a loud moan escaping both your lips as your tight cunt takes all of him, gripping his cock. “fuuck, you’re taking me so well” he says breathless. “like it was fuckin’ made for me” he says running his free hand across his face, in disbelief of the feeling, pure bliss. 

you were getting closer. so much closer. you could feel the heat coiling at the base of your spine, ready to snap with just a few more strokes. but rafe has other ideas, suddenly pulling out with a low groan. like he himself hates the disconnect . “no! why-” you start, but he grabs your waist, turning you over, pushing you onto your stomach with a firm hand, cutting off your protest. "on your knees," he instructs, yanking your hips up. your stomach sinks with anticipation and nervousness.     

you obey, rising to your knees, thighs trembling. his hands skim up your sides, then he leans forward, his mouth close to your ear. "you trust me, baby?" he asks, voice rasp.  

you nod. “good” he says with a smirk. his hand cups your chin, turning your head to meet his gaze. “but i need words. you trust me?” you lick your lips outta nervousness nodding with a light “yes rafe.” 

his thumb brushes your lower lip before he releases your chin, trailing his hand down your spine in a slow, possessive stroke.  "then let me show you," he says, gripping your hips tight as he thrusts his cock into you, harder this time. your breath catches as he fills you completely, the stretch bordering on painful, giving him more access than the last position. “so deep rafe” you moan. 

he doesn’t move at first, letting you adjust, his chest pressed against your back as he drops rough kisses along your shoulder. "breathe," he coaxes, and you exhale shakily, your body relaxing into him. then he pulls out, almost all the way. you still hadn’t fully adjusted to the length or his size. you nails dig into your sheets, “rafe” you lightly warned. 

“i got you” he promises, before slamming back into you. you cry out, pleasure sparking, as he sets a brutally fast pace, each thrust driving you deeper into the mattress. his hands dig into your hips so hard you know you’ll bruise. but you know he’s doing it to mark you. and the thought makes you clench even tighter around him. 

“this what you wanted?” he grits out breathy his voice wanting to sound possessive and dominant, but it betrays him with the moan that follows, “me..” he slows out, the feeling of your cunt squeezing him become a vulnerable mess. “me fucking you like this? taking what’s mine? 

you also can barely even form words, that same orgasm you were chasing earlier creeping up with every pounding thrust. he hits that sweet spot that makes your vision blur, eyes rolling so far back you’re not sure how your eyes don’t fall out of your head. he chuckles, but it’s so dark and villanous sounding. “yeah you’re all fucking mine. say it” he demands. 

you’re too far gone to resist, to make any fully conscious decisions at this point. you’d even say yes to marriage if he’d ask you right now. “i’m yours” you say raspy, uncontrollably. “i’m all yours” you repeat. he rewards you with a thrust so deep you see stars, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as he also chases it, chases that moment when you both shatter for each other.  

you cum first, clenching him so tightly, as his cock feels your cunt throbbing. you let out a moan so loud it comes off as a scream, “rafe, ugh fuck!” you let out, hands gripping the sheets your knuckles turn white, hips still grinding on him, as you twitch. 

rafe swears he’s never seen or heard something more beautiful than this moment, watching you come undone for him. your ass grinding on him matched with your screams of his name was enough to send him over the edge, he goes to pull out, but your hands fly to his hips as you lean back. “cum inside me” you tell him, “please cum inside me” you beg. 

his gaze snaps to yours. it’s darkened,  the intensity there making your heart beat faster. he seems almost shocked, like he didn’t expect you to say that, to ask for that. “oh you’ve fucking ruined me” he growls. but he’s cut off by his cum covering your walls, “fuck y/n” he moans. “shit baby” he says, hands still on your hips, but he softens his touch as he falls lighty onto of you. not wanting to pull out. 

his hips roll forward again, slower now, drawing out the last waves of pleasure as he fills you completely. a shudder runs through him, and you can feel his pulse where your bodies are joined.

he exhales sharply through his nose, shaking his head like he's trying to clear it. then, with sudden purpose, he turns your head towards him, and captures your lips in a kiss that's softer than before, filled with way more passion, not just hunger. when he pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, eyes closed.

"i’m serious, you’ve ruined me," he whispers, thumb tracing your cheekbone. like he just found something precious, but also found what could destroy him. you unfortunately move up, his cock falling out of you, as you turn to face him completely. 

but the way he looks at you you'll never forget it. his gaze is longingly and so soft, what was once dark and filled with lust has completely changed, now raw and vulnerable. 

for a moment, neither of you speak. the silence seems to stretch on forever, until he runs a hand over your cheek, "that really happened," he mutters. "regrets?" you tease, though your voice is shaky and nervous now.  he jokingly glares at you, but there’s no real bite to it. only his lazy satisfied smirk you know way too well. “yeah, should’ve walked in on you sooner.” he says

you laugh, swatting his chest. he catches your wrist, pulling you closer against him until you’re curled into his side. his fingers trace idle patterns on your hip, his heartbeat steady under your ear.  

“next time, skip the toy and send me a text or something” he teases, pressing a kiss to your forehead. you glance up at him, a smirk on your lips now, “make me" you say. his laugh is undeniably dangerous, 

“oh i will.”

but everyone else saw it differently. especially topper and kelce, they never let him forget it, always throwing comments his way when you weren’t looking. little smirks, quiet jokes about how obvious it was, how he’d been stuck on you longer than he’d ever admit. rafe always brushed it off, played it cool, acted like it wasn’t real. but they knew, the way his attention always found you, the way he always cared more than necessary, oh they knew.

so when you showed up to sarah and john b’s wedding together, no one thought twice about it. you weren’t exactly his ‘date’ but you might as well have been. you arrived together, stood together, laughed together. it was normal, the way it had always been. just dressed up, a little more polished than usual, but still the same you and rafe everyone knew, always side by side without reason.

the night passed on, music loud with everyone dancing and laughing, drinks being chugged as conversations flowed, and sarah and john b looked like such a perfect couple. in the way that anyway with eyes could tell. you stuck close to rafe without realizing it, your arm brushing his, your laughter leaning into him, your conversations always circling back to each other. every time you looked over, he was already looking at you. every time someone pulled you away, he found his way back. like habit.

and somewhere along the way, the drinks caught up to both of you. everything felt amplified, your thoughts, your reactions, the space between you. what once felt normal started to feel different, so different. 

you ended up stepping away from the reception for a moment, needing air, the noise too much, your head too light. and of course, he followed you. “you good?” rafe asks. you nod, leaning lightly against the railing, a small laugh slipping out. “yeah. just needed a second.”

he stood beside you, close enough that you can feel the heat off him. neither of you say anything at first, the air filling with a sort of feeling you weren’t use to feeling. 

then outta nowhere, “you ever think about us?” he asks. your brows knit instantly, a soft laugh leaving you, thinking he must be so ridiculously drunk. “rafe, be serious.”

but he doesn’t laugh, and that’s what makes your head almost snap, to look at him properly. because there’s something there you’ve never let yourself notice before. something that’s been sitting between the lines for a long time. “i am,” he says quietly,“you’re drunk.” you quickly try to blow him off.

“yeah well, so are you,” he replies. and there it is again, that heavy tension, only getting thicker. and it doesn’t help that it feels like he just got closer, or that his gaze constantly drops to your lips, and lazily glances back up, or maybe that you’re alone away from everyone else. 

“this is a bad idea,” you say, turning to face him, knowing what you both are burning to do in this moment. he nods. “fuckin’ terrible idea.” he responds only leaning closer, and neither of you move away.

his agreement barely settles between you before it clicks. your eyes flicker to his lips, just for a second, and that’s all it takes. his hand comes up first, brushing against your jaw like he’s giving you time to pull away, like he’s waiting for you to stop it, because only god know’s how bad he’s been waiting for this to happen. 

“tell me to stop, tell me i shouldn’t” he whispers, almost strained, his forehead nearly brushing yours now. but you don’t, and you should, you know damn well you should. but the alcohol in your system, with the way he’s looking at you, the way everything suddenly feels so euphorically different, drowns out every bit of logic you have left.

his lips meet yours, slow at first, but then something changes in him, hungry and impatient, it’s like something he’s been holding back for way too long finally snapping loose. your breath catches instantly, your hand gripping at the front of his shirt without even thinking, pulling him closer like you need him there, like there’s no space left between you that feels right anymore.

and he moves with that. one hand sliding from your jaw to the back of your neck, the other settling firm at your waist, keeping you still against him as the kiss deepens, like he’s trying to memorize you all at once.

it’s overwhelming, because the way he’s kissing you isn’t casual, or careless, it’s so intentional for him. not just a drunk mistake, it never was gonna be. you feel that, in the way he tilts his head, in the way his grip tightens just slightly when you respond, in the quiet breath he lets out against your lips when you lean into him instead of away. and that’s the worst part, you’re not pulling back at all, but instead matching him, and fuck is this everything he needs. 

your fingers slide up into his hair, holding him there, your body pressing closer without even realizing it, like something in you has been waiting for this too, you just never let yourself see it.

the world around you fades out completely, the music and voices, none of it exists anymore. it’s just you, rafe, and this moment, and how completely weird it should feel, kissing your best friend, but it feel so right at the same time. 

you pull away so suddenly it almost knocks the air out of both of you. your chest is rising and falling too fast, your head spinning, not just from the alcohol anymore, but from this. from what just happened. from what you just let happen.

“come on,” you say breathlessly, not even giving him time to respond before your hand grabs his. he doesn’t even question it, just follows. you’re already moving, slipping back inside, weaving through people like nothing’s wrong, like you’re not seconds away from possibly running your friendship. 

your grip on him is tight, pulling him along behind you as you head toward the stairs. you don’t look back once, like your body just took over. and you don’t notice the way kelce’s eyes catch the whole thing from across the room, how his brows lift slightly, a knowing look settling on his face almost immediately.

by the time you reach the bridesmaids’ room upstairs, your heart is pounding. you push the door open quickly, pulling him inside with you before shutting it just as fast, the click of the lock loud in the quiet room.

for a second you both just stand there, like reality is finally catching up to you, but it doesn’t. because the second he looks at you again, with those needy eyes, whatever restraint you had left, whatever restraint was barely holding on, snaps completely. “you sure about this?” he asks, but there’s barely any space between the words and him stepping closer.

you don’t even answer, already pulling him back in, taking a few steps back, so you both fall onto the bed, and any last bit of objection leaves as the kiss hits harder, as faster. your hands find him immediately, gripping at his shirt, pulling him closer like you can’t get enough, like space between you suddenly feels unbearable.

his hands are on you just as quick, deepening the kiss. it’s so messy and heated, like you’re horny teenagers and not thinking adults. 

you began unbuttoning his shirt, while he unzipped your dress. his eyes darkened seeing your exposed body. you tossed the dress onto the chair by the door, reaching to undo the belt on his pants, he helped you, none of you wanted to break the kiss. 

it was like a switch had flicked, his grip on you growing tight. his lips moved down, kissing your jaw, your neck, your shoulder, and then biting gently into the crook of your neck right where he knows you like it, and you gasped softly, but quickly tried to recover, trying not to give away how badly he affects you. it was like he was trying to memorize every inch of you, like he was scared to forget. his hand slid down, gripping your thigh, pulling you tighter against him.

he could feel the way your chest pressed against his, how your breathing grew more shallow against his skin, and it drove him crazy, wanting to make you lose that control you were holding onto so desperately. his fingers dug into the skin on your thigh, his lips moving along your collarbone hungrily, like this was the only thing he’s ever wanted. he loved the way your body responded to his touch, the soft gasps that escaped your lips with every move he made.

“oh rafe” you moaned. his lips curved against your skin at the sound of his name on your lips so broken and desperate. his voice was darkly amused, as he dragged his teeth over your pulse point. "yeah? that all you got?"  his hand slid higher, squeezing, as if he wanted to pull every damn sound from you. and the worst part? you’d let him. 

his smirk was downright sinful as he watched you unravel beneath him. "fuck, that’s pretty," he growled, his breath hot against your ear. his free hand tangled in your hair, tilting your head back just enough to catch the way your lips parted, the way your chest rose and fell too fast.  

his mouth crashed back onto yours, swallowing your next moan whole. like nothing else existed, just him, his hands, and the reckless way he was tearing down every last shred of your control.  and neither of you cared.

you barely register anything after that, just small flashes of the night, the way everything blurs together too fast to hold onto. the heat of him, the way your hands can’t seem to stay still, the quiet, breathless moans that fill the room between deep thrusts that never seemed to stop. it’s all rushed and reckless, like neither of you wants to think long enough to second guess it. like if you slow down even for a second, reality might catch up and ruin it.

and then it all fades, as if it was a dream you were waking up from. your last clear memory is the way his hand finds your body, after you both reach your high, pulling you into his embrace, like he can’t let go. he places a kiss to your forehead as yours eyes flutter asleep. 

—

the weeks after the wedding didn’t feel real. 

everything felt off. not just with rafe, though that alone was enough to throw you, but with yourself. your body felt different in ways you couldn’t even explain. you brushed it off at first. blamed it on the alcohol from that night, or the lack of sleep, the way your thoughts kept circling back to something you weren’t even remotely close to unpacking. because thinking about it, about him, and about the way you let yourself fall into that moment made your chest tighten in a way you didn’t like.

you hadn’t really talked to him since. though he texted the morning after, something simple. 

rafe: hey rafe: you okay y/n?

and you answered just as casually. 

you: yeah, i’m fine. but after that? every time he tried to see you, you found a reason not to. you: sorry, busy you: can’t tonight you: rain check? you kept it light, like nothing had changed, while also avoiding him completely. and of course, he noticed. but for once, he didn’t push the way he usually would. just let the distance grow, even if it was clearly eating at him. you tried not to think about that either.

“okay, but be honest,” katherine says, shifting on the couch beside you, her legs tucked under her as she eyes you over the rim of her glass. “do you regret it?” you hesitate before answering.

the tv plays quietly in the background, a dramatic scene from the pitt, but neither of you are paying attention anymore. your fingers trace mindless patterns along the side of your cup, your water long forgotten.

“i don’t know,” you admit finally, your voice quieter than before. “like, in the moment? no. not at all.” you shake your head slightly, like you’re trying to make sense of it yourself. “but now? everything’s just so weird. i don’t even know how to look at him anymore.”

katherine hums, tilting her head. “well, yeah. i mean, you slept with your best friend.” you groan, dropping your head back against the couch. “please, don’t say it like that.” you plead. “how am i supposed to say it?” she laughs lightly. “you guys have been attached at the hip for years and then just, boom.”

“okay, shut up,” you say to her, but there’s no real bite to it. it seems like she actually did stop talking, but you lift your head to look at her, she looks like she’s thinking hard about it, then without avail, “what if you’re pregnant?” your face drops almost immediately. 

“katherine.” you say so sternly, with a blank face. she blinks, then slowly starts to grin. “i’m just saying-”

“no,” you cut her off immediately, a nervous laugh slipping out. “no, that’s so not funny.” but she doesn’t drop it. “okay, but think about it,” she continues, sitting up straighter now, eyes narrowing slightly as she looks at you. “you’ve been saying you feel weird for like, what a week now?” your stomach twists in a way that makes you feel like you can instantly vomit. 

“that doesn’t mean anything,” you say quickly. “but doesn’t it?” she presses. “did you miss your-” your lips form a tight line, as you go quiet. fuck, you thought. “…oh my god,” she breathes. “no way,” you shake your head, but it’s weaker sounding this time. “no, i’ve just been stressed-”

“y/n.” your chest tighetns, knowing there is some type of validity to what she’s saying, but you're trying to think of every single possible outcome for it not to be true. but now that she’s said it, you can’t unthink it. all the times you’ve felt the exhaustion. the random waves of nausea you brushed off. the way your body hasn’t felt like yours lately. the dates you didn’t bother keeping track of because you were too busy avoiding everything else. “oh my god,” you whisper, the words barely leaving your lips.

“okay,” katherine says immediately, already standing and grabbing her keys. “we’re going to the store. right now.” the drive feels like it lasts five minutes and five hours at the same time.

you barely remember walking through the aisles, grabbing not one, but three tests, just in case you thought, because there’s no way one is enough for something like this. your hands are shaking by the time you get back to her apartment, your thoughts loud and messy and spiraling in every direction you don’t want them to go.

“hey,” katherine says softly, placing a hand on your arm before you disappear into the bathroom, already knowing the thoughts flying through your head. “we don’t know anything yet. okay?” you nod, appreciative of her comforting you at a time like this, but at this point you think nothing can help. 

the next few minutes feel like pure torture. sitting on the edge of the tub, staring at nothing, your heart pounding so hard it feels like it might burst out of your chest. katherine’s pacing just outside the door, giving you space but staying close enough that you’re not alone.

and then the timer on your phone finally goes off, and you feel your mouth dry, and eyes wide. you slowly reach for the first one, and check. then you check the second, and then the third. and tears start to well up, “kat..” you call out, your voice breaking slightly. she’s in the doorway instantly. “what? what happened?” you try to speak but can’t, handing her the sticks. 

her face falls instantly, three tests and they all came out positive. the room feels like it’s closing in on you. your hands start to shake, as your vision blurs before you even realize you’re crying. it hits you all at once, the weight of it, the reality of it, the fact that this isn’t just some abstract fear anymore. “i can’t-” your voice cracks, and you shake your head, tears spilling over faster now. “i can’t do this, kat. i’m only twenty five bro, i’m not old enough, this wasn’t-”

she’s beside you immediately, pulling you into her arms as you break down. “i’m not even with him,” you sob out. “we’re not together, we’re not anything, this was a mistake, it was one night-” your chest heaves as the words tumble out, panic setting in deeper with every second. “and it’s rafe,” you whisper, like saying his name makes it more real. “out of everyone, it had to be him-”

it’s not rafe the person that makes you doubt this, its more so the baggage that he brings with him. you know him through and through, know his anger issues, how any small thing ticks him off to oblivion. you know how impulsive, and deranged he could be sometimes, how he’ll drink himself to death, with you having to be the one he drunk calls to pick him up, and it doesn’t stop you from being his friends, because you’ve always be in his corner, but raising a child? that’s a whole different ball park. 

katherine holds you tighter, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your back as you cry into her shoulder. “we’ll figure it out,” she says softly against your hair. “okay? you’re not alone in this.” 

but all you can think about is rafe, and how everything just changed in a way neither one of you can take back.

-

the knock throws you off completely. you hadn’t really been expecting to see anyone these past two days. you’ve barely moved from the couch, the same blanket wrapped around you, with your phone face down on the table because you can’t even bring yourself to look at it.

another knock, makes you frown slightly, pushing yourself up, your body heavy as you make your way to the door. when you peek through the peephole, your stomach drops. “shit,” you mutter under your breath.

rafe. just the person you couldn’t bring yourself to speak to. you hesitate for a second, your hand hovering over the handle, debating if you should even open it. but he knocks again, a little more urgent this time, and you know he’s not leaving. so you opened the door. “what are you-”

“i’m so fuckin’ sorry.” he cuts you off immediately, the words tumbling out of him fast and messy, like he’s been thinking about it for weeks. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have- i didn’t mean to, i mean i did, but not like that, not if it was gonna-” he exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, pacing once like he doesn’t even know where to stand. “i don’t wanna mess this up with you, alright? i don’t wanna ruin us. we can just-” he gestures vaguely between you, almost desperate, “we can just forget about that night. pretend it didn’t happen.”

your lips form a tight line. “i don’t think-” you try to speak, but rafe continues, “because i’d rather have you like this than not at all, i swear,” he keeps going, not even noticing how quiet you’ve gotten. “we don’t have to make it weird, we don’t have to-”

“we can’t rafe.” you say louder, trying to take him out of this rambling state he’s got himself in, and he finally stops. “what?” he asks, brows pulling together like he didn’t hear you right. you swallow, your throat dry. “we can’t,” you repeat, quieter this time. he lets out a short breath, shaking his head slightly, already dismissing it. “yeah, we can. it’s not that big of a-” 

“i’m pregnant.”

that hits him so much he freezes. he just stands there, completely still. his mouth parts slightly, like he’s about to say something, but nothing comes out. then it closes, and opens again.

“what?” you don’t answer right away. you just step back, leaving the door open as you walk back into your apartment. you sink back onto the couch like your body can’t hold you up anymore.

he subconsciously follows you in, shutting the door behind him, still processing. “what?.” he repeats, quieter this time, like maybe the word will make more sense the second time around. “i’m pregnant,” you say again, staring straight ahead. “i um, i took three tests. they were all positive.”

he runs a hand over his face, then the back of his neck, pacing once like his brain is trying to catch up to what you just said. “okay..” he mutters under his breath. “okay, shit, wait, okay.” the shock doesn’t fully leave his face, but you never thought you’d see him react in that way. like a sort of smile?

“you’re pregnant,” he repeats, this time like he’s trying to convince himself. you’re pregnant, with his kid, your kid, y’alls kid. you watch it click in him, and before he can even think to try and hide it, there’s a flicker of excitement in his expression. a breath leaves him, shaky but not in the way you feel. “holy shit..” he says. 

and you feel even worse, because this? isn’t how you’re feeling in the slightest. rafe finally looks up at you, and everything in him, the prior excitement, the smile, the realization drops, instantly. because you look nothing like he does. your eyes are puffy, and red from crying. your face drained, like you haven’t slept. you look small on that couch, wrapped up in yourself like you’re trying to disappear from it all. like this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.

“hey,” he says, softer now,, like he’s stepping into something fragile. “hey-” you shake your head slightly, tears already building again. “i can’t do this, rafe,” you whisper.

and just like that, whatever excitement started to bloom in him gets replaced, because now he gets it. this isn’t the same for you. rafe moves closer to comfort you, engulfing you in his chest. even when you quiet down, and the room isn’t filled with your crying anymore, his thumb keeps brushing over your knuckles. “i’m gonna fix my shit.” he says after a moment of silence. you blink, caught off guard. “what?”

“my shit,” he repeats, sitting back a little but still holding onto you. “the drinking, the whatever the hell you’ve seen me do that made you think i couldn’t handle this? i’m done with it.” you stare at him, trying to read if this is just rafe talking or if he actually means it, and he notices that.  “i’m serious,” he says, sharper this time. “i’m not bringin’ a kid into that. i’m not-” he cuts himself off, exhaling. “i’m not gonna be that guy.”

“that doesn’t happen overnight,” you say quietly, like you don’t even know what to do with that. “i know but, you don’t have to worry about anything,” he continues, leaning forward a little. “money, a place, whatever it is, you don’t have to stress about that. i got you. i’ve always had you.” your brows pull together slightly. “that’s a lot to just say, you know.”

“i know it is,” he nods. “i’m still sayin’ it.” but his next sentence surprises you, like it’s the most obvious solution in the world, “move in with me.” your head tilts back a little. “you’re actually insane.”

“i’m not insane,” he scoffs lightly. “i’m thinkin’ ahead.”

“rafe, that’s- no, that’s a huge step,” you shake your head, overwhelmed again. “we’re not even-”

“i know what we are,” he cuts in, a little firmer. “and i know what we’re not. but we got a kid on the way now, y/n. i’m not gonna have you sittin’ here alone, stressin’ yourself out in this apartment while i’m somewhere else, i wanna be near my kid, so that’s not how this is gonna go.” you swallow, your emotions creeping back up again. “you’re just saying that because you feel like you have to.”

his expression hardens slightly, like he’s irritated you’d even think that, especially about him, knowing him how you do. “no, i’m not.”

“yes, you are,” you push, your voice wavering. “you feel responsible, and now you’re trying to fix everything at once-”

“i am responsible,” he snaps, half angry, but halfly trying to take accountability. “that’s the point. but don’t sit there and act like this is some obligation to me. like i’m just, steppin’ up because i have no other choice.”

you go quiet, because there’s this sense of honesty in his voice that doesn’t sound forced or fake. “then why?” you ask, softer now. “why are you acting like this?” he lets out a bitter laugh, dragging his hand over his face before looking back at you, something frustrated and vulnerable sitting right under the surface. “you really don’t see it, do you?”

your brows knit. “see what?” he lets out a disbelieving sigh. “jesus, you’re killin’ me right now.” he says. “rafe, what are you-”

“i’m in love with you.”

it comes out blunt, in a way he never though he’d admit it, especially not today, and especially not after finding out he was gonna be a father. you freeze completely, as he shakes his head slightly, like he’s almost annoyed it even got to this point. “i’ve been in love with you,” he continues, “for years. and you’re sittin’ here actin’ like this is just some random shit to me, like i don’t care who it is, like i’d be doin’ this for just anyone.” your lips part, but nothing comes out.

“everyone else saw it,” he goes on, running a hand through his hair. “kelce wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it, topper used to give me shit every time you walked into a room-” he lets out a breath, shaking his head. “you’re the only one who didn’t notice.”

“i don’t even know if you’re being serious” you whisper, your heart racing now for a completely different reason. “i’m very fuckin’ serious,” he says, his eyes locked on yours. “this isn’t just about the baby for me. it’s you too. it’s always been you.”

your chest rises and falls slowly as you try to process it. because now that he’s saying it, you can see it. all of it, from the longing gazes, to the way he always got softer with you, how close he used to stay near you whenever you were together. how annoyed he’d get when anyone would try and flirt with you, always saying “he’s a piece of shit, pick a better one” not knowing the ‘better one’ was always him. “i thought you were just,” you trail off, letting out a small, shaky breath. “being you.”

“yeah,” he huffs lightly. “well, that’s the problem. i was being me, but not like that. not with you.” you look down for a second at your hands you didn’t realize were intertwined this whole time, your fingers tightening slightly around his.

“i didn’t let myself think about it,” you admit quietly. he stills. “really?” you shake your head a little, like you’re trying to find the right words. “because if i did, it would’ve changed everything. and i didn’t wanna lose what we had.” he softens, “so you just ignored it?” he asks. you nod faintly. “yeah.”

“there were moments,” you admit, your voice quieter now. “where it didn’t feel like just friendship. where it felt like more.” you swallow, your eyes flicking back up to his. “i just never let myself think twice of it.” rafe stares at you like that just knocked the air out of him.

“you’re serious?” he asks, softer now. you nod slightly. “i didn’t know what to do with it.” a breath leaves him, almost like relief mixed with disbelief. “jesus fuck” he mutters under his breath, a small, almost incredulous smile pulling at his lips. “all this time” you let out a weak, emotional laugh, shaking your head. “yeah.”

rafe’s hand tightens around yours again, his expression grounding back into something more serious. “then let me do this right,” he says, his voice steady now. “let me be there for you. for real. not just halfway, or how we used to but, actually there. i want to be your problem solver”

you look at him, your eyes still a little glassy, “i really don’t wanna screw this up,” he adds, quieter. “i don’t wanna be like my dad. i don’t want our kid growin’ up in some messed up broken home where shit’s always unstable.”

“i don’t want that either, you admit. “so don’t run from me, please,” he says, in pleading honesty. “don’t shut me out like you been doin’.” he finishes. “i was just scared,” you say. “i know,” he nods. “but you don’t gotta be scared of me.” your eyes search his face. “this is a lot, rafe.”

“i know it is,” he says again. “we’ll take it slow if that’s what you need. but you’re not doin’ this alone, alright? i’m right here.” your fingers squeeze his a little tighter. “you’re not leaving if things get hard,” you ask, vulnerable. 

“not a fuckin’ chance.”

exboyfriend!rafe who smirks to himself every single time you delete his comments and still does it again on the next post like it’s a game between you, because you didn’t block him or ignore it, and that’s enough for him

exboyfriend!rafe who texts you at 3 in the morning like clockwork rafe: you up? and he already knows you are, knows you’ll stare at it for a minute before answering anyway, because no matter how hard you try to ignore him, you don’t. not really anyway.

exboyfriend!rafe who smirks at his phone when you finally text back, like ‘there’s my girl’.

exboyfriend!rafe who pulls you right back into him so easily it’s almost embarrassing. one little conversation, one look, one “come here” or “i miss you” and suddenly you’re right back where you said you’d never be again, like you never left in the first place .

exboyfriend!rafe who gets under your skin like no one else. he knows exactly what to say, what buttons to push, how to make you fold. but if you look at him and say “leave,” he'll hesitate for half a second, then actually listen

exboyfriend!rafe who you did break up with for a reason, all the fighting, his constant jealousy, or the way he never knew when to stop, but honestly none of that really made you stop wanting him. you just kept listening to outside noise.

exboyfriend!rafe who is completely, unhealthily infatuated with you, like you’re not something he can lose, you’re something he just doesn’t let go of, just something temporarily out of reach.

exboyfriend!rafe who shows up uninvited sometimes, leaning against his car like it’s nothing, eyes scanning until they land on you, “get in." like you didn’t spend weeks trying to stay away from him, and he doesn’t even question it when you hesitate, just tilts his head slightly, knowing look on his face, “you’re still thinkin’ about it, aren’t you?” 

exboyfriend!rafe who hears from your friends that they’re telling you to stay away from him, and just laughs under his breath, “yeah? how’s that workin’ for them so far?”

exboyfriend!rafe who knows you’re tired of the cycle, and sees it in the way you hesitate more, or how you pull away faster. but instead of letting you go, he just pulls you in harder.

exboyfriend!rafe who will never admit it out loud, but the idea of you being truly done with him? that’s the only thing that actually scares him, because he knows he’s the worst thing for you, the one person you know you should stay away from, but can't possibly fathom not having you anymore.

exboyfriend!rafe who knows exactly what he’s doing, and knows you’re not strong enough to stop it either.

exboyfriend!rafe who watches your stories like it’s his job, every single one, immediately, even when you post something random just to see if he will, but he always does. and he’ll reply to them sometimes too, “that for me?” like you didn’t post it for everyone, like it’s still just between you and him

exboyfriend!rafe who gets under your skin on purpose, saying just enough to irritate you, to pull a reaction out of you, because he’d rather you be mad at him than ignore him completely, and every time you do, it feeds that obsession even more

exboyfriend!rafe who notices when you try to move on for real. the way you stop answering, or showing up, and that’s when he gets the worst, the most persistent, like he refuses to be replaced, like it personally offends him like the idea of you with someone else doesn’t even register as real

exboyfriend!rafe who always stands a little too close when he’s near you, always finding a way to touch you, even if it’s small, your wrist, your hand, the small of your back, like he’s reminding both of you that he still can, like distance isn’t something he respects when it comes to you

exboyfriend!rafe who lowers his voice when he talks to you in public, like it’s instinct, like whatever this is should still feel private

exboyfriend!rafe who doesn’t verbally beg for you back, he’s too proud for that, but everything else he does says the opposite

exboyfriend!rafe who softens for a split second sometimes, when it’s just you and him, like the version of him you fell for is still there, and that’s what makes it harder to leave

exboyfriend!rafe who still knows your body like muscle memory, like nothing’s changed, like he never had to relearn a single thing about you. 

exboyfriend!rafe who gets a little rougher than he should sometimes, not in a careless way, but in that pent up, frustrated way, like all the tension between you has nowhere else to go

exboyfriend!rafe who always pauses for half a second, checking your reaction, always making sure you’re enjoying it just as much as he always is. 

exboyfriend!rafe who still gets that same look when you touch him first, slight surprise, then that slow smirk, like he knew you’d fold eventually

exboyfriend!rafe who always lingers after he fucks you senselessly, longer than he should, like neither of you want to acknowledge what just happened

exboyfriend!rafe who can't help but moan your name, whispering sweet nothings in your ear that make you not want to ever pull away, "you'll always be fucking mine" "no one will ever make you feel as good as i do" and the worst part is, you know he's right.

exboyfriend!rafe who doesn’t rush it anymore, he takes his time, slowly teasing you, feeling your entire body, kissing every sweet spot on your neck and thighs, like he’s savoring it more because he doesn’t technically have you anymore

exboyfriend!rafe who hates that you have that kind of control over him, but at the same time? it’s exactly why he’s so hooked on you

exboyfriend!rafe who melts the second you give him even a little bit of attention, like all that attitude, all that control just, drops when it comes to you

exboyfriend!rafe who would burn everything down for you, but still waits on your word before he does anything

exboyfriend!rafe who acts like he owns you in private, with that usual cocky tone, but the second you pull back or say his name a certain way? yeah, he’s the one adjusting, not you

exboyfriend!rafe who knows you better than anyone, your moods, your limits, your tells, and uses it to his advantage, but also lets you use it against him just as easily

exboyfriend!rafe who is completely, undeniably obsessed with you, but still looks at you like you’re the one holding all the power anyway.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who finds reasons to be in the same space as you, walking into rooms you and sarah are in, leaning in the doorways, making annoying comments on the things you're both doing, or hovering just enough to get your attention without making it obvious.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who realizes real quick you don’t treat him like everyone else does, rolling your eyes, brushing past him, muttering a quiet “fuck off, Rafe” when he blocks your path, and instead of backing off, it only makes him push more, his forbidden fruit.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who tests the line constantly by standing too close in empty hallways, letting his hand brush yours, watching you carefully like he’s waiting for you to pull away, and noticing when you don’t.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who ends up alone with you one time and doesn’t move out of your way, head tilted, smirk slow, “you’re different when sarah’s not around.” and something about the way you don’t deny it? yeah, that’s where it clicks for him.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who somehow gets your number and starts texting you, casual at first like it’s the most insignificant thing in the world, then with purpose and he sees the exact moment you stop pretending you’re not interested, and he steals the opportunity with quickness.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who corners you in the kitchen when the house is quiet, voice low, stepping into your space like he’s been waiting for this “i know what you’re doing, right” a small tilt of his head, “what do you mean?” you reply. his eyes flicking to your lips, “this little game” and when you don’t walk away, his lips find yours, closing the distance.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who who wasn’t supposed to cross that line, but now that he has, there’s is absolutely no going back. he keeps it secret at first, saying things like a quiet “come here,” slipping you down hallways and into his room, the door shutting quick behind you like second nature.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who always keeps one ear out for footsteps, but still lingers, still keeps you close a second longer than he should, like he physically can’t help it. bsfriendsbrother!rafe who, right before you leave his room, grabs your wrist and pulls you back in for one more second, forehead resting against yours, “you’re trouble,” he mutters, and when you whisper, “you started it,” he just smirks satisfied “oh and i’m not stoppin’ sweetheart.”

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who tries to fix your hair before you leave, straightens your clothes, with a low voice right by your ear, “you’re fine baby, just act normal.” like he didn’t just make that impossible, like that ‘baby’ didn’t just make you weak at the knees. 

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who acts like nothing’s happening in front of everyone, barely looks at you but somehow, you both always disappear at the same time at parties, reappearing minutes later like nothing happened, and no one suspects it, because you act like you hate him in front of people. 

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who actually catches you staring at him across the room and doesn’t look away this time, just smirks knowingly. later, when he finally gets you alone, he leans in close, voice low “keep lookin’ at me like that in front of everyone, and see what happens.”

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who thrives off the secrecy of it. the risk of it all, the way you both have to listen for doors opening, or voices getting too close. and the way you come back flustered every single time, rambling excuses. 

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who brushes past you in a crowded room, fingers grazing your lower back just enough to make your stomach flutter, and without even looking at you, he mutters, “meet me upstairs in five.” and the worst part? you always go.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who watches you text the groupchat, “can’t today, next time!” while you’re sitting right next to him, and that smug little smirk settles, with that proud pit in his stomach like he’s saying ‘yeah, she chose me.’

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who overhears some assholes at the country club talking about how they want to hook up with you, and has to control himself from becoming his old reckless self again. but smirks saying “i think she’s taken” with a shrug 

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who texts you while you’re sitting right next to sarah with no shame, phone buzzing in your hand, rafe: you look prettyand when you glance up, he’s already watching you, eyes low, leaning back like nothing’s wrong you: you’re gonna get us caughtrafe: that’s the the risk of the game

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who tells himself it’s just a fling at first, you’re just sneaking around, or it’s just something to pass time. but he keeps coming back, he keeps pulling you aside, he keeps wanting more than just a few minutes, and even a few minutes to him isn’t becoming enough anymore. 

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who gets irritated when you pull away, questioning what you’re doing. his jaw’s tight, voice lowering out of hurt and annoyance, “you’re still here, aren’t you?” like that alone proves you feel it too.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who starts blurring the lines without even realizing. spending more time and longer nights together. the moments becoming more intimate until you both realize it’s not just a fling anymore. 

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who shows up to your house one night with hibiscus flowers, because you briefly mentioned once you liked them. acting like it’s the most normal thing, given your ‘situation’ but he’s watching your reaction a little too closely for it to just be nothing.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who starts taking you out, but always somewhere off the obx, on the mainland, somewhere no one will recognize you, no chance of it getting back to sarah, or any of your other friends.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who is still cocky and a little dangerous, but softer with you in ways he doesn’t even realize, like it just natural.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who loves when you start soft launching him on instagram, with pictures like your hand in his, or his chain, or his shoulder, but never his face. just enough to have people asking questions, and people, including sarah asked many questions. 

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who overhears people talking about your ‘mystery man’ and just leans back, smirking to himself, because they have no idea it’s him, the one person it shouldn’t be.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who kinda treats it like a game, sneaking around, and he loves how long you both get away with it.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who starts getting more careless over time, holding onto you a little longer, looking at you a little too openly, sending winks your way, like he’s slowly caring less about who finds out.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who realizes he’s in too deep when it stops feeling like a game and starts feeling like he wants it to be his normal, like he doesn’t just want secret moments anymore, he wants all of it, he wants people to know you’re his.

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who gets a little jealous when someone’s talking to you too long, stepping in casually, arm brushing yours, “she’s busy,” he says smoothly, eyes not leaving yours, then quieter, just to you, “or you forgot that?”

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who doesn’t care he’s just did that in a crowd of people, “are you fucking insane?” you ask him, shocked he would defend you like that so publicly, he leans down to your ear, his lips almost brushing your skin, “pretty girl i dont give a fuck who’s watchin’ anymore.”

bsfriendsbrother!rafe who knows you’re hesitant because of sarah. he knows that once she finds out all hell will break loose. she’ll be angry about the line you crossed the second you let him even touch you. but would rather deal with sarah’s anger, than pretend he doesn’t want you and everything that entails you anymore.

to: lean over you in the missionary position, eyes bloodshot and wide, the room filled with the sounds of your whimpers and his moans. his hands are gripping your thighs down, as the squelch of his cock meeting yours repeats in hard motions. your legs would shake when he’s so deep and he would let out, “i know baby, i know you can take it” voice breathy as his eyes roll to the back of his head, cock so deep in your cunt he’s not even sure how he hasn’t came yet. your folds adjust to his girth, and you can’t take the agonizingly slow thrusts anymore, lifting your hips to quicken his pace, “good fuckin girl” he grunts out, his cock pulsing as you take over. "fuck, yes don't stop baby." through breathy moans. "i knew you could take me."

to: act like he's so macho and dominant to everyone else, but when it's the two of you he's literally whimpering when you stop kissing, staring at you with nothing but hunger in his eyes, because he physically needs more. "no, no, no, no" he'll say. "why'd you pull away?" with those eyes wide like he's high, but there's no drugs in his system, and he's just drunk of you. literally begging you to ride him, to caress him, to straddle him, to touch him even, like the fucking loser he is, loosing all credibility when he's on his knees for you, kissing your stomach, and thighs, grabbing your hands whimpering "please, please touch me." ugghhh

to: still display how thick skinned he is. you'll be at a bar or a kook party, and he'll literally have you sit against him or on his lap, and as soon as he clocks some weirdo looking at you funny, you're suddenly standing behind him, his left arm holding onto you behind him, while he's in someone's face. "the fuck are you looking at huh?" he'll spat. "nah don't fucking look at her bitch!" he'll say, and to you it's so hot when he get's so protective of you, cause he'll do this while still holding your hand, behind his back.

to: get mad at you, over something the smallest bullshit, like you leaving him on delivered for twenty minutes. as if it’s some kind of betrayal. “don’t play dumb,” he'll snap at you. “you were on your phone. i know you were.” you'll scuff, “or maybe i just didn’t feel like answering you right away,” folding your arms, except you can’t even fullly be mad because his hand is holding your waist, his thum lightly rubbing back and forth on your skin. “yeah? that how it is now?” and he still hasn't let go, and it's so frustrating, yet calming. “you just ignore me whenever you feel like it?” with a squint of his eye. “rafe, you’re being insane” you say, “nah,” he cuts you off, dragging a hand through his hair before it drops back to you, like he physically can’t stand not touching you. “what’s insane is you acting like i don’t matter.” you roll your eyes, but you don’t step away, because you don’t ever step away. “if you didn’t matter, i wouldn’t be standing here arguing with you,” you mutter. he huffs, leaning forward, forehead almost brushing yours. “you drive me fucking crazy, you know that?” he says. “then let go of me.” but it does the opposite, making him tighten his grip. “not'a fuckin' chance.”

to: say something rude as hell, in the middle of an argument, and the second he sees it really bothered you, he'll regret it, and tries to bury it under more anger, because why can you make him soft like that “maybe if you actually fuckin' listened for once-” he starts, but then he sees your face fall, and it throws him off. “wow,” you laugh, but it’s not humorous. “that’s what you think of me?” he scoffs, pacing like he’s trying to outrun what he just said. “don’t twist it baby. you always twist it.” saying 'baby' like the pet name is supposed to soften the blow. “i didn’t twist anything, rafe. you said it.” he stops, turning back to you, “yeah, well maybe i meant it.” and when you're too quiet, he'll quickly take it back, knowing he took it too far. saying almost under his breath, “you know i don’t, though.” and he'll wait for you to come back to him.

to: not say a word to you, like you’ve been cut off without any warning. with his arms crossed, and eyes flicking anywhere but your face, until you realize what he’s doing. “are you seriously not talking to me right now?” you ask, annoyed. and he gives you nothing but a stubborn glance. “rafe, that’s so childish.” he shrugs, leaning back against the wall like he’s got all the time in the world. but really he’s waiting you out. you stare at him, then narrow your eyes. “you’re kidding right?” still nothing. “you want a kiss, don’t you?” you accuse, stepping closer. his gaze finally snaps to yours, but he doesn’t say it, cause he gave it away, “you’re unbelievable.” you grab his shirt, tug him down, and press a quick, annoyed kiss to his lips. and just like that, he exhales, hands sliding to your hips. “see? wasn’t that hard.”

to: cut you off mid sentence grabbing your jaw with his hand, his fingers pressing in just enough to make your words catch in your throat “wanna repeat that?” he says, like it’s not even a question. your heart jumps, more from the look on his face than his grip, as his eyes drop to your lips, not even pretending to listen anymore. “i said you’re acting-” you start again, but it comes out so much weaker this time. his thumb shifts slightly, tilting your face up just a little more. “nah,” he mutters, almost amused. “say it how you said it before.” you suck your teeth “why? so you can get mad again?” you snap, trying to pull back, but he doesn’t let you go. “no,” he says, finally meeting your eyes. “so i can hear the attitude i'm gonna have to fuck out of you later." and that makes you swallow hard, trying to not crumble. “go on,” he adds, “don’t get shy on me now.”

to: refuse to ever be the first one to tap out. going round after round, even when his body is clearly telling him he should call it quits. sweat on his skin, chest rising and falling like he’s trying to catch up with his own breathing, yet he’s already looking at you like he hasn’t had enough. he’s leaning over you, one hand braced beside your head, the other dragging slowly down your side. “another round?” he asks, like it’s nothing. like he isn’t still recovering. you blink up at him, with wide eyes. “are you serious right now?” a tired disbelieving laugh slips out of him. he shakes his head slightly, still not backing off. “what, you think i’m done?” he asks. “rafe, you literally just-” he cuts you off, “don’t care,” his forehead dips closer to yours. “if you’re a drug,” he exhales, smirking faintly, “i’m so fucking addicted.”

possessive!bf!rafe who doesn’t like when other guys make you laugh too much, suddenly pulling you into his side with a tight grip and muttering something like, “you’re funny, but not that funny.”

possessive!bf!rafe who acts like he’s in control to others, when you both know he’s at his knees for your every want and need.

possessive!bf!rafe who goes quiet instead of loud when he’s jealous, jaw clenched, eyes locked on whoever’s looking at you a second too long, then suddenly you’re being pulled into his chest, his hand gripping your hip just a little too tight.

possessive!bf!rafe who tilts your chin back toward him mid convo if your attention drifts too long somewhere else, thumb pressing just enough for you to feel it. “focus.” his hand on your thigh under the table, thumb brushing higher and higher just to remind you he’s there

possessive!bf!rafe who gets that dangerous little smirk when someone flirts with you, like he almost wants them to keep going just so he has a reason to step in.

possessive!bf!rafe who leans in close to your ear when he’s jealous, voice low and controlled, but there’s an edge to it: “you done entertaining him?”

possessive!bf!rafe who doesn’t like when you’re out without him for too long, not in an obvious way, but your phone lights up with his name more than usual in short texts like “you good?”  “where are you now?”   “send me your location”

possessive!bf!rafe who keeps things you’ve left behind, hair ties, lip gloss, any random little thing and doesn’t even realize it’s weird, just likes having pieces of you around when you’re not there.

possessive!bf!rafe who watches your reactions more than anything. what makes you laugh, what makes you blush, what gets your attention, and if someone else manages to get that out of you? he doesn’t let it happen twice.

possessive!bf!rafe who doesn’t ask for reassurance, but you can tell when he needs it by the way he hovers closer, the way his touch lingers longer than usual, like he’s silently asking you to remind him. and he softens instantly when you reassure him without him having to ask.

possessive!bf!rafe who gets this dark, satisfied look when you choose him in front of other people, like it feeds something in him he doesn’t fully understand.

possessive!bf!rafe who doesn’t just want to be your boyfriend, or husband one day. he wants to be the only person you instinctively turn to, the only one you rely on, the only one you would ever need. he’s fixated on you, in every sense of the word. the way you talk, the way you move, the way you look at him, like it’s all his favorite thing to study.